Should The Man Always Set Up The Dates? Or 50/50

[soulforge]

Thank you @Julian for posting EXACTLY what I (as a chick) was going to say. Be a man. Lead. I get so put off with wishy washy men who can't decide they want something. If you want something go get it. Ask. That's what men do. And if she says no? If she doesn't counter? So what? Go do something else and quit twisting up your brain worrying about it.

My guy does this sometimes. It's super annoying. Ask me out. Lead. I can say yes or no. Once in a great while I'll suggest a date idea (but I've been dating my guy for almost 2 years now)...so it's a bit further down the road. I'm the chick. I don't want the man's leadership role. But abdicating leadership is one of the fastest ways to kill attraction.

So lead and be done with it. Simple. A feminine woman will have no issue responding timely and making her reciprocal interest known. Give her something to reciprocate.

I get what you say... And I mostly agree with you.

However when a chick declines the date, and the man has to reach out again. While she does Nothing

Situations like that can become a problem.. There should atleast be a counter offer from the girl if she declines.

 

[Robert28]

The key thing is to sniff out the BS or red flags early before you invest too much.

Then its easier to cut the chord and move on.. Why waste time on something that isn't making you feel good.

Well the thing is we’d been seeing each other but then she started treating me more like a friend. 3 dates in a row she didn’t kiss me and she’d turn her face to where all I could kiss was her cheek. Then she wants to berate me about texting first??!! F all that. If you want to treat me like a friend I’ll act like a damn friend but I’d already warned her the first time we met I don’t befriend girls I’ve dated. Ever. I dunno why she tried to make herself the exception after months but I didn’t play along. Maybe she met someone else and hadn’t gotten around to telling me but she was still going out and doing stuff with me, but the not letting me kiss her was it for me. Should have seen the red flags way before then but even I was smart enough to know what she was doing.

 

[Mazer]

I set up dates until we have sex. Shortly after that, if her interest is high, she starts to invite me out to do things. Last two plates on date number four ask me to join her for a concert and another one took me out to dinner.

 

[Roober]

And if she declines the invitation? For whatever reason.. Are we supposed continue reaching out in the hope she may say yes next time.

I get your point though.. Taking lead is what it is all about.

It really depends.

Does she reach out often?
If you put aside your ego, does she seem legitimately interested?
Are you asking when you know shes busy?
Is she willing to cancel plans for you?

The point is to filter for highly interested women, who communicate their interest through their willingness to spend time with you. Life happens and sometimes schedules d9nt match up. Is that a reason to bail? I dont think so. Is it a reason to lower your investment? Almost certainly.

 

[John9999]

So who should do most of the date setting?

So far I have arranged 8 out of the 10 dates.. She has declined once due to other plans she had.

Do you guys believe it should be something in the middle?

Or its OK for the man to continue arranging dates?

And what if she declines due to other plans.

Women want to be lead. So lead. You setup all dates. Common man