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Should single men go for single mommies because they are proven to have at least 1 successful relationship?

MatureDJ

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This article seems to say so:
7. Divorce proves there was at one time a successful relationship.
Does divorce mean failure? Absolutely not! Divorce indicates there was a successful relationship, where the complexities and compromises of a marriage were navigated and new life was the result. Circumstances of life evolve along with the key players, and once viable relationships can become not so.
The single mom has an entire set of emotional and practical tools based on experience. This is not “baggage” as some would erroneously refer to it as, it’s better described as “relationship carry-on”.
“relationship carry-on”? :down: :down: :down:

Of course, the author chick can't help herself about who will be most important in the marriage:
With the understanding that the man she ultimately chooses, if any, will play a role in the happiness and well-being of the lives of those most precious to her (yes her children) she’s checking out the quality of a mans integrity more than the quality of his torso.
my opinion: :mad: :mad: :mad:
 
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SW15

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Jessica Johnson is a woman who has no idea what is best for single men.

Divorce does not prove a successful relationship. It proves a failed relationship on a grand scale. While a childless divorce won't alter a woman's SMV too much with most men, a divorce with a child will alter it significantly. A divorce in general proves a lack of foresight, self-awareness, and planning. Since women file for divorce in 80% of the divorces, it goes against their record for opting out.

There is nothing that a single mom offers that is superior to a childless woman.
 

MatureDJ

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There is nothing that a single mom offers that is superior to a childless woman.
But what if the man is so unattractive that he cannot get a childless woman? Because a single mommy will sex him, wouldn't sex in and of itself be superior to no sex? I'm not saying it would be worth the shame of being an ultimate Beta, just that it's an attribute that is categorically superior.
 

SW15

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But what if the man is so unattractive that he cannot get a childless woman? Because a single mommy will sex him, wouldn't sex in and of itself be superior to no sex?
You make a fair point. The only men who should consider a single mom are ones with low market value. Sex with a single mom is better than no sex.

The man in question should take some time off the market and address his inadequacies, then come back on the market once he's addressed his deficiencies. If he's young enough (under 45-50), he should be able to get a childless woman. The ranks of 35-50 year old childless women are growing.

If we are talking about older men, this gets more difficult. A lot of 50+ men (50+ is a growing market of singles) are meeting 50+ women with children over 18. While these women are technically not single moms, dating women with children over 18 is no walk in the park either. Her adult children are likely to resent you in some way. They probably don't want to see you at holidays if they are on their own. Additionally, employment for young adults 18-39 is unstable, and often times adults in their 20s and 30s live at home after a layoff.
 

bcude

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Written by
Jessica Johnson
Mother, single woman, writer, embracer of chaos.

Oh, what a surprise. I would never guess this was written by a single mother. Alot of her statements are so false that it's almost comical.
But i get it, trying to make single mother's shiitty dating situation better by increasing their value is only natural. We all try to do the best of our situation.
"relationship carry-on", i will note that for the future LOL
 

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i think rollo tomassi called this ''proactive cheating'' pretty much the woman had the child but didn't want nothing to do with the father.

somebody to **** her down , and somebody to take care of the child win-win
 

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A guy I used to work with was dating a single waitress with two kids. She “accidentally” got knocked up, goes and marries her. Moves into a nice 4 bedroom McMansion with a pool and some acreage. The father for the first two kids is long gone, so he legally adopts them so they could get his benefits. Like the true white knight he is, pays to put her through college, she gets a degree and a high paying job. Gets bored, cheats with an old dirtbag boyfriend. Took the house and the kids. She’s living in the McMansion with the dirtbag and my white knight coworker rents a slum apartment while paying child support for three kids. Ice cold.
 

SW15

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A guy I used to work with was dating a single waitress with two kids. She “accidentally” got knocked up, goes and marries her. Moves into a nice 4 bedroom McMansion with a pool and some acreage. The father for the first two kids is long gone, so he legally adopts them so they could get his benefits. Like the true white knight he is, pays to put her through college, she gets a degree and a high paying job. Gets bored, cheats with an old dirtbag boyfriend. Took the house and the kids. She’s living in the McMansion with the dirtbag and my white knight coworker rents a slum apartment while paying child support for three kids. Ice cold.
You ended it perfectly. Ice cold.

Single moms: Plate, don't date.

And only plate if you can't find sex with a childless woman.
 

corrector

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But what if the man is so unattractive that he cannot get a childless woman? Because a single mommy will sex him, wouldn't sex in and of itself be superior to no sex? I'm not saying it would be worth the shame of being an ultimate Beta, just that it's an attribute that is categorically superior.
I had an ex-wife who was also a single mom and I disagree that the sex in and of itself would be better than no sex. The marriage didn't work out and at the end of the day I'm still single. My posts on here don't sound any the better than any other incel who has never had sex period, despite the fact I was married and divorced 6 years ago. So it doesn't look like that mean much.

You have an erroneous idea that if you get a woman with a child she'll be loyal. They are not any more loyal than other types of women because they are still hypergamous. Also you are exposing yourself to real legal liability. What if the child makes up a story that you touched her in her genitals or something like that? Suppose it doesn't work out, then you could be potentially on the hook for child support for someone else's child until he or she is 18 years old? What a legal minefield.

If the set-up is toxic enough, it seeps into the sex and even that can not save anything.
 

corrector

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You make a fair point. The only men who should consider a single mom are ones with low market value. Sex with a single mom is better than no sex.

The man in question should take some time off the market and address his inadequacies, then come back on the market once he's addressed his deficiencies. If he's young enough (under 45-50), he should be able to get a childless woman. The ranks of 35-50 year old childless women are growing.

If we are talking about older men, this gets more difficult. A lot of 50+ men (50+ is a growing market of singles) are meeting 50+ women with children over 18. While these women are technically not single moms, dating women with children over 18 is no walk in the park either. Her adult children are likely to resent you in some way. They probably don't want to see you at holidays if they are on their own. Additionally, employment for young adults 18-39 is unstable, and often times adults in their 20s and 30s live at home after a layoff.
Been there and done and what you wrote has not worked for me. Has it really worked like that for anyone you know? Easy to write nonsense like that as you have no experience being with any single mom yourself. You just lower yourself and have nothing to show for it at the end of the day.
 

SW15

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Been there and done and what you wrote has not worked for me. Has it really worked like that for anyone you know? Easy to write nonsense like that as you have no experience being with any single mom yourself. You just lower yourself and have nothing to show for it at the end of the day.
Has what really worked for anyone I know? I mentioned a couple different scenarios.

I've known some childless dudes in their 20s or early 30s that banged older single moms and faded out of their lives quickly thing.

I've managed to avoid single moms, which is awesome. I know where to hunt in person in my city so as to never deal with single moms. As Millennial childlessness reaches epidemic levels, I know that I can continue to avoid single moms.
 

corrector

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And only plate if you can't find sex with a childless woman.
That's not honest and would only work for a high SMV guy. The topic of this thread is geared towards "relationships" not plating. Single mom will want a relationship with a low SMV guy and see he's really a provider and $$$ betabux before going there. You can't start mixing up SMVs and coming up with different scenarios out of your hat because that's not how reality works.
 

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Women are absolutely aware that if they divorce their husband, their SMV will take a huge hit, even women who say they don't need no man. I have had female friends that divorced their husbands say as much, even if they divorced him for a good reason like him being an alcoholic.

Single mothers will go to any length to land a man, and only once she has you will she reveal her true self to you. Single mothers should be avoided at all costs unless the woman is a widow.
 

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SW15

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Women are absolutely aware that if they divorce their husband, their SMV will take a huge hit, even women who say they don't need no man. I have had female friends that divorced their husbands say as much, even if they divorced him for a good reason like him being an alcoholic.
Are you really sure a divorce to their name is a significant SMV hit for women? I don't see it as a big deal. I've been on dates with women that have had 2-5 year long failed marriages to their names, are childless, and are under age 35. I perceive a divorce under those circumstances as a minimal hit to SMV.
 

MatureDJ

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A guy I used to work with was dating a single waitress with two kids. She “accidentally” got knocked up, goes and marries her. Moves into a nice 4 bedroom McMansion with a pool and some acreage. The father for the first two kids is long gone, so he legally adopts them so they could get his benefits. Like the true white knight he is, pays to put her through college, she gets a degree and a high paying job. Gets bored, cheats with an old dirtbag boyfriend. Took the house and the kids. She’s living in the McMansion with the dirtbag and my white knight coworker rents a slum apartment while paying child support for three kids. Ice cold.
WOW! That's like perfect physical blackbody surface black pill! :eek: :eek: :mad: :mad:

As for the benefits, I think he could have got them for his stepkids without having to get married.
 

Kotaix

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Are you really sure a divorce to their name is a significant SMV hit for women? I don't see it as a big deal. I've been on dates with women that have had 2-5 year long failed marriages to their names, are childless, and are under age 35. I perceive a divorce under those circumstances as a minimal hit to SMV.
You're right

When I wrote that I did mean to start that with "Women with children are absolutely aware that if they divorce their husband[...]"

However if a woman is divorced, she IS much more likely to divorce a second time. It is a hit to their SMV, but not anywhere near as much as if they have kids.
 

SW15

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When I wrote that I did mean to start that with "Women with children are absolutely aware that if they divorce their husband[...]"

However if a woman is divorced, she IS much more likely to divorce a second time. It is a hit to their SMV, but not anywhere near as much as if they have kids.
We have the same ideas.

Most women with children are aware that their SMV takes a hit for longer term commitments post divorce. Getting another guy to put a ring on it will be a challenge. Getting a committed, non-marital relationship might be less of a challenge. Let's remember that women often line up a new mate before exiting an existing relationship.

Childless, divorced women are a risk for future divorce if a man is marriage minded, which the majority of men are. I am not marriage minded. I only expect to get somewhere between 2-5 years out of a girlfriend. I'm open to going longer than 5 years so long as conditions remain good but I will not put a ring on it. For a man that wants to get married, he's always better off with a woman who has never been married if he wants to best position himself to avoid a divorce.
 
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