Should men feel insecure about their physical looks?

[SeymourCake]

Or is that only subjective to women?

 

[PapiChulo]

It's not a choice, but a scrony guy will feel insecure around masculine men who are built, in a gym locker...

 

[QuodErat]

If you feel insecure about your looks, go put some work into them. I think that the way you PRESENT yourself is the most important part.

 

[PapiChulo]

The thing about the real kinda insecurity is that it doesnt really go away. You get bigger, and there is someone always bigger than you and what stares back at you in the mirror could ALWAYS get larger, leaner, etc. Next thing you know, you start adding stuff like tattoos onto your body.....

 

[Chickfight]

The thing about the real kinda insecurity is that it doesnt really go away. You get bigger, and there is someone always bigger than you and what stares back at you in the mirror could ALWAYS get larger, leaner, etc. Next thing you know, you start adding stuff like tattoos onto your body.....

Male attractiveness isn't directly proportional with how big you are. It's attractive to be well muscled and athletically build, but believe it or not, excessive size is actually a turn off to a lot of women.

I don't feel insecure at all around guys who are bigger than me, being the biggest isn't what makes you the top dog. You can be the leader of a group with bigger guys. Human physical strength can only go so far. It's all about social power. If you have guys who would follow you to hell and back. That's power. In fact, being too big may even hold you back, because you become intimidating and your size starts to define you as a person.

Anyway more on subject, good looks HELP to gain power and status, but it's not essential. Feeling insecure about anything about yourself is not the way to go. Even if you're 5foot tall and 100lbs. Your shortcomings aren't what stop you. It's your insecurity about them that does.

 

[Maxtro]

My main insecurity is my height.

At 5'6, It sucks always being the shortest one in the group. It really sucks when I see a girl taller than me because I know that she will never give me the time of day.

So I weight train to try and get bigger so I won't feel like any random guy can kick my ass. But I have crappy genetics and it's hard for me to build muscle. Hooray!

 

[I'm in the Mood]

Physical looks don't really matter, but physical health really matters. If you don't exercise, eat right, and work on improving your body, coupled with the belief that being healthy and in shape is an attractive trait, you will feel insecure about your looks.
No one should feel insecure about their looks!!! All that physical attractiveness does is cut out some of the work for you. It's the average or even ugly men who make the real improvements and achievements, and value themselves for it, not the pretty boys.
If you have a negative belief about yourself, you need to do whatever it takes to change it! Once you feel that you believe in who you are, you will no longer be insecure.

 

[HeMan]

my friend is very ugly but pulls lots of *****

he has a great attitude towards life

 

[editdivide]

No man or woman should feel insecure about the way they look.

All the flaws you find within people is the flaws you find within yourself. Ultimately, you want to see everyone as perfect, no matter what.

The mind of a seducer is perfection. Perfection of all things and people.

 

[Just a Shot Away]

Your shortcomings aren't what stop you. It's your insecurity about them that does.

Beautifully said.

OP: The answer is no. You should not feel insecure about your looks. Women's physiology is totally different from ours and are attracted by a whole different set of qualities. There may be several posters who will kick open the door to this thread and try to tell you otherwise and how you will never get good-looking women if you yourself are not good-looking, but please do your best to try to ignore them. These flies don't know any better and will stop at nothing at spreading their disease wherever they land.

 

[flint]

I would say yes if you haven't done everything you absolutely can to look your best. Once there isn't anything else you can do (so if you're short you can't get taller, if you don't like your nose or something) then you should feel comfortable.

You should always look your best because you deserve to look your best. If you look bad because you have a terrible style and haven't done anything to figure out your look then you should feel bad and kick yourself and get motivated.

 

[zekko]

Male attractiveness isn't directly proportional with how big you are.

True enough. When I was a teenager, for instance, what made me feel insecure about my looks was my skin. I used to have problems with acne on my back. So I didn't want to take my shirt off and such. Even though the only thing that kept it at bay was making sure it got a lot of sun, keeping very tan.

As I got older it cleared up. But there are more things that can lead to insecurity about your looks than simply how muscular you are.

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

One of the big "secrets" to being successful in life and with woman is to learn to truly love yourself. Love who you are, love what you stand for and love everything about you. Love yourself by eating right. Love yourself by making the right choices, financially, socially and ethically. Love yourself by surrounding yourself by positive people and avoiding the people who are full of negative energy.

When you've mastered love on that level, everybody knows it because you feel good. You feel good from afar and you feel good up close. Your energy will affect everyone around you and at this point, looks become irrelevant and pretty subjective.

Take someone like Ghandi or the Dalhi Lama (sp?). These people are/were totally comfortable walking around in a loin cloth because they understood these principles. They attain a level where superficiality disappears. And when someone of that level enters a room, you can truly feel their energy.

Imagine what would happen to your life if you learned to tap into this sort of thing and give off those vibes. Instant magnetism. Everyone can feel it.

Insecurity is something that lies way in the opposite direction and if you've got deep routed issues like this, you need to do a lot of mental and spiritual soul-searching to dig yourself out of it.

 

[sesshoDevrim]

a lot posters here have some good advice. Take some time to soak in all of what they have said and decide for yourself. This is the major reason why I love this forum, always great advice.

 

[Alle_Gory]

One of the big "secrets" to being successful in life and with woman is to learn to truly love yourself. Love who you are, love what you stand for and love everything about you. Love yourself by eating right. Love yourself by making the right choices, financially, socially and ethically. Love yourself by surrounding yourself by positive people and avoiding the people who are full of negative energy.

When you've mastered love on that level, everybody knows it because you feel good. You feel good from afar and you feel good up close. Your energy will affect everyone around you and at this point, looks become irrelevant and pretty subjective.

Take someone like Ghandi or the Dalhi Lama (sp?). These people are/were totally comfortable walking around in a loin cloth because they understood these principles. They attain a level where superficiality disappears. And when someone of that level enters a room, you can truly feel their energy.

Imagine what would happen to your life if you learned to tap into this sort of thing and give off those vibes. Instant magnetism. Everyone can feel it.

Insecurity is something that lies way in the opposite direction and if you've got deep routed issues like this, you need to do a lot of mental and spiritual soul-searching to dig yourself out of it.

That sounds good but once you reach this point of self love and nirvana for everyone, you have little motivation to change and grow.

A happy obese person isn't going to make a change and lose that extra girth. A smoker who's happy with himself won't get rid of that habit until something horrible happens and they have to quit otherwise they're looking at an early grave.

Misery gives birth to positive change and then you really have something to be happy about.

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

That sounds good but once you reach this point of self love and nirvana for everyone, you have little motivation to change and grow.

A happy obese person isn't going to make a change and lose that extra girth. A smoker who's happy with himself won't get rid of that habit until something horrible happens and they have to quit otherwise they're looking at an early grave.

Misery gives birth to positive change and then you really have something to be happy about.

Your pain is your guru. The areas in your life that you find are most painful and frustrating are the areas you need to focus on. They are the very things that will teach you what you need to know to move up to a higher sense of being and consciousness.

Someone who is obese and does nothing to change themselves hasn't learned how to love themselves. A smoker doesn't truly know how to love himself. If he did, he wouldn't smoke.

It's a very big subject, but insecurity is one of those gurus. People with physical insecurities have some deep rooted internal issues that often are completely unrelated to their actual outward appearance.

They need to be identified and dealt with.... A process that most haven't mustered the courage to actually do. It can be very scary to really look at yourself from deep inside, in a truly honest way.

 

[francoatgrex]

Or is that only subjective to women?

Unfortunately, looks do matter. Women lie when they say they don't go after looks in men; research has shown that when women were hooked up to a lie detector, they did admit being attracted to handsome men and disgusted by ugly men. There are of course other factors that play a role in attraction, hence I think ugly men can try to compensate for their lack of physical attractiveness by developing personality, success etc.

 

[Jeffst1980]

The fact that this comes up so often on here seems to be a reflection of the culture we live in today. Masculine behavior is punished in children, and men are encouraged to forego their true utility and become more nurturing and sensitive.

It makes sense, then, that men will start worrying about their appearance in a manner similar to the traditional female. I don't see too many guys coming here for advice on building muscle, but I see plenty of threads on here discussing "facial attractiveness" in MALES.

The truth is, women's sexual preferences have remained unchanged. The media may attempt to convince you that women like skinny emo pretty boys that wear eyeliner, but keep in mind that young women are NOTORIOUSLY bad at knowing what actually turns them on. If you do a survey of your friends, you will find that the guys that hook up with the hottest girls are the most masculine, aggressive ones- regardless of facial "beauty."

If you are insecure about the way you look, go to the gym, because that is the ONLY variable that can realistically keep you from dating an attractive girl. And, being slightly overweight yet somewhat muscular is FAR better than being thin and scrawny. We talk so much about being "alpha" on here--when did "alpha" suddenly mean having nice eyes?? Forget about all that stuff, and get in touch with your naturally masculine side that modern society tends to repress. You will find that it will inspire attraction just by being present.

 

[francoatgrex]

A happy obese person isn't going to make a change and lose that extra girth. A smoker who's happy with himself won't get rid of that habit until something horrible happens and they have to quit otherwise they're looking at an early grave. Misery gives birth to positive change and then you really have something to be happy about.

Well said. I like that.

 

[zekko]

The media may attempt to convince you that women like skinny emo pretty boys that wear eyeliner, but keep in mind that young women are NOTORIOUSLY bad at knowing what actually turns them on

And yet, I've seen "skinny emo pretty boys" that had many girls VERY attracted to them. Attraction is a multifaceted phenomenon, it doesn't always adhere to the SoSuave model.