Should I walk away on this one?

[Tantric]

Met a girl a HB9 2 years ago in school... We only talked here and there, but I didn't have her number, so it was more of an "aquaintance" type deal. She was also always hanging around this one guy (EVERYWHERE), so I assumed they were dating.

I was going through a wierd time, and one day in class I said (fairly loud)...

"so HB9, why haven't we gone on a date yet?"

"...because you haven't asked me" (that caught me off guard :woo

"alright...friday night"

"sure...what do you want to do?"

"dinner"

"okay"


Because I said it really loud in front of eveyone in class, the whole convo came out sort of in a "joking" type way...so I don't know if she was serious, or if she thought I was.

I was seeing this other hottie at the time, and though that relationship was on it's last legs, something stopped me from setting up an official date with HB9, or following through.

That was pretty much that. School was over 4 weeks later, and though we still chatted here and there, nothing was ever mentioned by me or her in regards to the "date convo".

That was 2 years ago.

For some reason, though I've been dating other girls, that one HB9 still stands out in my mind. And I regret not pursuing anything with her, or following through.

SKIP TO 8 WEEKS AGO

I'm back in school, and low and behold, she is in my class again. We start chatting, exchange numbers, etc. She has a BF, but it sounds like it is not going to last. By the way, this chick is LTR...

I call her every once in a while, but all she does is TEXT me! Sure, we talk on the phone here and there...but it got into this stupid habit using text messaging instead of calling her. Gotta break that!

I know when I am really into a girl, I tend to come off pushy...calling too much, asking out too much, etc...so recognizing that, I am really playing it a lot cooler.

I've asked her out a couple of times, but I am trying to keep things really cool and relaxed, so it is not so "official".

I was heading to an amusement park in a couple of days, so I called her mentioned it, asked if she wanted to go. Mistake 1 (well there are probably more) - She did not pick up the phone, and yeah, i know I SHOULDN'T leave a message...but I did.

Go figure, she texts me back about 1 hr later. She thanks me for asking, but her brother was in town a few days before (which I already knew), and they went to that amusement park already during his visit. She then wished me a good time.

I thought about replying to the text, but i didn't. I thought it may be fun to play like I didn't get it.

Anyway...

I've asked her to hang out a few times over the past couple of months, but there always seems to be something in the way...she has plans, won't be in town, etc. None of it is BS, but it still frustrates me.

Should I just back off from this chick for a while, or should I be more persistant?

 

[Quiksilver]

Back off, every time.

This is sort of textbook. Sure she may be genuine in their lack of time to hang out, but...She could easily be playing that old girly hot/cold game, and you're making a big mistake playing it. Just back off for about 3 weeks and I bet she comes crawling back.

It's not a "you fvcked up" thing yet, but i'd break contact until she makes the next move. You know how it goes, its straight to the loser-bin if you push too hard.

On a side note, if she was interested then she'd help in the planning around her schedule. I've been there before, where the chick doesn't help at all even tho its her schedule that's messed. Sure enough she lost interest after i pushed abit too hard/fast, and ran away(so to speak).

I let her go and ignored her for awhile(about 2 months), and lone behold just last friday, guess who I saw, and guess who's asking to go out with me.

So, walk away from this one. Know deep down that if anything is going to work, she has to come to you at some point.

 

[zerocelcius]

TWO YEARS COME BACK!!!

Would you leave a dinner plate on the table than come back two years and eat it?

I am not saying there is no possibility of something happening here, but I/we have to know what it is you want out of this?

How often do you text her?

How many times have you asked her out?

Does she still have a BF?

 

[Kings_royalty]

Move on bro, forget this one. The only thing you can do at this point is disappear for a while and see if she makes an effort to get in contact with you. If she does, concentrate on getting her Interest Level up and stop acting so needy.

Needy: "I've asked her to hang out a few times over the past couple of months, but there always seems to be something in the way." Get what I'm saying? It seems like you know what needs to be done, and where all of your mistakes have been, but I think you get over 'excited' and you keep doing the things that don't work.

Take a deep breath and relax, getting with this girl is not THAT important, don't make it so.

 

[Tantric]

Whoops!

made a mistake in the first post...

It was 8 weeks ago, not 4 that I met her again.

To answer the questions...



I USUALLY only text her when she texts me. I have texted her 3 times without her making first contact (once to wish her a good time in France, once to see what she was up to on the weekend (6 week ago), and once when I told her about a film of mine that was being screened (3 weeks ago).

I've hung out with her like 8 times, but it was due to a school project we were working on (had to meet to do it). After the project ended, I have casually asked her out 2 times. The first one wasn't "date" related. I was inviting a couple of people to see a movie screening of mine. i texted her to see if she wanted to go. The second time was today, when I called her up about the Amusment park thing.

Does she have a BF still? I don't know. i try not to bring it up.

When we first started working on the school project, she commented on how she doesn't do anything but sit at home. She asked me what i was doing one weekend and I said nothing, she also said she was doing nothing. I would have taken that opportunity to ask her out, but i had a GF at the time (she did not know).

Once she started seeing this guy, it became more texts than calls, and less of it.

Go figure...

You're right it is not a big deal. I think I am more focussed on the fact that I did not follow though 2 years ago, and trying to make up for it (if that makes sense?).

yeah, I'll play the aloof thing for a while. I'll give it a month.

I'll act like I did not get her text message (or tell her I didn't if she asks), and remain distant for a bit.

Cool?

 

[zerocelcius]

I think you have it under wraps!

I can totally understand you reflecting on the situation 2 years ago.

Go with the game plan and keep us informed. I think some great lessons could come out of this one.

 

[Tantric]

Hi!

Here is the update...

Basically, I played it like I wanted...very aloof. And I had not replied to her last text.

In school yesterday I did not approach her or say "hi". I only made very brief convo/comments if she looked over and started with me first. There was no mention by either of us in regards to me inviting her to the amusement park. I thought she would have mentioned it, or asked if I received her text...but nada.

During the break, she was sitting by herself eating lunch. I was walking in her direction, and she made eye contact, smiled, etc. I sort of nodded I think...walked by her and kept going about my business. Though i was not being rude (I acknowledged her, smiled), my first instinct was to sit down next to her and start convo...but I held off on the instincts. I thought it would be better this way.

By the way, this chick is a model...EASILY a HB9

I figured I would keep this sort of aloof distance for a while, but near the end of class, her and I were assigned ANOTHER scene together. Which means we will be working together in class AND outside of class...one on one.

So...it is going to be a bit hard playing aloof, if I have to work one on one with her.

When we left class she was walking next to me and we chatted a bit about the scene. As we are heading towards the door she turns to her left and walks towards a friend, asking him a question. She did not even say "bye"...I just kept walking. I got a call on my cell as I exited the school. As i was on the phine, HB9 walked by me with this guy. She walked past me about 6 feet away saw me there, but made no aknowledgement, no bye, nothing. It did bother me, but i guess that is because i still like her, otherwise I wouldn't care.

I am thinking to keep it really friendly and outgoing, etc. when rehearsing, but then go opposite and be totally aloof in school?

I don't know if she's still seeing that dude...and I also don't want to bring it up in case she is. Last thing I need to do is turn into her girlfriend and hear about her relationship, sex. etc.

The VERY cool thing about this assignment, that our job OUTSIDE of school is to meet each other over drinks, or at her place for a minimum of 3 hours...once a week for 3 weeks. This is so we can get to know each other, and create an attraction, so there is an attraction present in the scene assignment. Basically her and I are doing a love scene...no sex, just 2 people attracted to each other sitting on a park bench.

It really doesn't get much better than that!

Is there any last advise anyone can suggest in dealing with this?

 

[eminence]

so uhh...why didnt you take her to dinner on friday

 

[Tantric]

so uhh...why didnt you take her to dinner on friday

Well...that was 2 years ago. At the time I was messed up over a runway model I was fvcking. I really did like this girl, but I didn't follow through as I was stuck on this other chick. Both were in my school...

I know...I'm a moron.

 

[Tantric]

bump