Should I wait for her to call me?

[libre]

I add; she is using with you classic manipulation tactics.

She's giving you warm then cold treatments to confuse you and to gain the psychological advantage on you. Psychological torture tactics use the same methods.

If my deductions are right and she is already up to this, you can expect her to sometime in the near future to throw a tantrum, to cry, ..., and to try to make you feel guilty for making her feel «bad» and upsetting her. She will try to put on your shoulders the blame of her unhappiness.

If things do work out in this disruptive behavior, I'm very sorry for you, but thought it didn't show before, you have in your hands possibly a narcissistic, manipulative little Diva. Be prudent if so, and it will probably be best then to just next her.

If I am wrong, well, the better for you and have fun.

Good luck

 

[JCKey618]

I'm not giving her the needy signs...

And what was I supposed to do when she 'stood me up.' I thought saying something would come off as I cared too much. I just said OK and went on to make other plans. Isn't that how it is supposed to be?

And I don't understand how I could have turned her off by something I did when I haven't seen her since our last meeting, when she was showing all the good signs.....

 

[JCKey618]

Originally posted by libre
I add; she is using with you classic manipulation tactics.

She's giving you warm then cold treatments to confuse you and to gain the psychological advantage on you. Psychological torture tactics use the same methods.

If my deductions are right and she is already up to this, you can expect her to sometime in the near future to throw a tantrum, to cry, ..., and to try to make you feel guilty for making her feel �bad� and upsetting her. She will try to put on your shoulders the blame of her unhappiness.

If things do work out in this disruptive behavior, I'm very sorry for you, but thought it didn't show before, you have in your hands possibly a narcissistic, manipulative little Diva. Be prudent if so, and it will probably be best then to just next her.

If I am wrong, well, the better for you and have fun.

Good luck

I didn't think she was like this. This is how my last girl was and my friends HATED her and my friends like Morgan 10 times more and say she's much better than Lauren. I'm thinking that maybe morgan is just busy but then again, it doesn't take much time to return a phone call and say 'i'm busy tomorrow'

 

[libre]

Just read your last post.

As your are writing that you don't have time for games and that you are in a hurry, that just gives her the upper hand and more power in the relationship. She must have felt clearly your eagerness and now you are dealing with her from a position of weakness.

You don't understand that she has time to play games. Well, for «some» women (not all be reassured), playing games is «The Game» and 80% or more of the interest for them in the relationship. No games, no pleasure.

She's playing hard to get? Well, play hard, walk off the field and let her all the playing field to herself. Then, watch her possibly running at you. If she doesn't, it's her loss.

Be the man that you are growing up to be.

By the way, did you have sex with her?

 

[libre]

Originally posted by JCKey618
I'm not giving her the needy signs...

And what was I supposed to do when she 'stood me up.' I thought saying something would come off as I cared too much. I just said OK and went on to make other plans. Isn't that how it is supposed to be?

And I don't understand how I could have turned her off by something I did when I haven't seen her since our last meeting, when she was showing all the good signs.....

I think you reacted in the perfect fashion. You didn't react much to her disruptive bahavior, you had «your» own plans, so you did not give her the power that she was trying to gain.

 

[Maximus_Decimus]

Originally posted by JCKey618
I'm not giving her the needy signs...

I don't know the details of the message you left but in general, it's enough to leave one message on her phone:

I called her yesterday around 1 and left a message saying I wanted to go out today at 2 and for her to let me know and she never called

No need to leave 2 messages 1 hour apart.

And what was I supposed to do when she 'stood me up.' I thought saying something would come off as I cared too much. I just said OK and went on to make other plans. Isn't that how it is supposed to be?

I gave you two options on how you could have responded on the phone when she stood you up - I mentioned it in my earlier response.

Maximus_Decimus

 

[JCKey618]

Naw, no sex. Haven't even had the chance to get past kissing. Cus all our opportunities to be alone 'something came up.'

Anyway, if SHE has lost respect for me not saying something when she stood me up, is there anyway to remedy this? I mean, the next time she contacts me, I can still bring it up. But what do I say?

I was thinking along the lines of making a sarcastic comment like 'thanks for getting back to me so quick' and then on to saying how she doesn't respect my time and that she needs to let me know ahead of time if she can't go somewhere and that when I call to set up a date, she needs to call me back even if she can't go so that I know.

 

[JCKey618]

Originally posted by Maximus_Decimus

No need to leave 2 messages 1 hour apart.

Oh, no. You misunderstood. I only left ONE message. I left a message yesterday at one o'clock saying that I wanted to hang out today at two o'clock. Only one message was left.

 

[JCKey618]

Crap. She IMed me. Said hey. She said she was babysitting today. And I said: and about saturday. it's not cool to tell me last minute that you can't do something. i would appreciate if you would tell me earlier. just outta respect

And she responded "I agree and that's why I apologized' and then she went to 'away' mode immediately afterward.

Why after everytime I say something to a girl afterwards I feel lie I'm in the wrong...?

What to say now?

 

[ARK]

Originally posted by frivolousz21
Once a week? how are u going to get her to fall for you in this manner? Once a week is a waste unless ur dating 3 chicks.

I thought the DJ Bible says be mysterious. Don't call near as much as she calls you, etc. Not very mysterious if your asking her out more than once a week.

 

[ARK]

Originally posted by JCKey618
And I said: and about saturday. it's not cool to tell me last minute that you can't do something. i would appreciate if you would tell me earlier. just outta respect

I feel like you just lost your chance by saying this. I wouldn't have dwelled on it, just move on. Should have had a quick conversation and/or called her up to ask her out.

 

[JCKey618]

I thought people were telling me to stand up for myself and not let her disrespect me! Now I've messed things up???

 

[libre]

Originally posted by JCKey618
Crap. She IMed me. Said hey. She said she was babysitting today. And I said: and about saturday. it's not cool to tell me last minute that you can't do something. i would appreciate if you would tell me earlier. just outta respect

And she responded "I agree and that's why I apologized' and then she went to 'away' mode immediately afterward.

Why after everytime I say something to a girl afterwards I feel lie I'm in the wrong...?

If you feel that you are the one that is wrong, then you are obviously unsure of yourself. You don't need to find the correct psychological reasons; just correct that way of thinking.

Her answer is ok, up to the point and not wishy washee. But, it would be ok to take time away from her for a week. Just get busy with your own agenda. Don't kowtow to her beautyfull ass!

If you do get to your own agenda and activities, you will get your power and confidence back.

Be your own man and with a straight spine.

 

[JCKey618]

But do you think she is mad at me now and does she have reason to be? I'm always confused on whether or not females have the right to be mad at certain things....

 

[libre]

JcKey

Females playing mad at you is a classic manipulation tactic to put you at a disadvantage. DON'T fall for it. This is quite disruptive behavior on the part of a woman. I personnaly did fall once for that kind of behavior (well we live and learn), and I did pay extremely dearly for it.

If she pulls that one on you. Tell her that you will not tolerate her Diva antics and take a two week long break. After that, be sure not to come back cap in hand. You are the man; DO NOT Kowtow to her!

As you are prime material to be manipulated by women, I suggest that you find a book which deals with manipulation techniques which are used by manipulative persons. I do not know english titles for these kinds of books but there must be some. That reading will prove quite usefull and may be your salvation in the future.

 

[JCKey618]

You say take a two-week break. But what if she contacts me....

And I;m getting surgery next week and she said something about coming over to visit me often while I'm recovering. She said that like a week ago though....

 

[libre]

Be friendly like you do not care, but put her off.

 

[JCKey618]

So, even if she asks me right now to go out with her tomorrow, I should put her off, even though I REALLY REALLY want to?

What if she comes up with a good excuse for not contacting me the last few days. You know, inside I know your advice is right but I'm just afraid of ****ing stuff up.

 

[libre]

Well JcKey

Armies from your country asks young men your age to stand firm in front of enemy fire or to face up to an enemy coming at them for their life with a knife on war front zones; you should be able to stand firm to your own urges and to an 18 year old woman. Don't you think so?

You will only build your character if you accomplish things and if your learn to be strong or at least to endure in the face of adversity.