Should I wait for her to call me?

[JCKey618]

This girl that I'm dating cancelled on me Saturday. Said something came up and she couldn't got and that she was sorry. We didn't talk again til last night. She contacted me and was like 'hey, are you mad at me?"

I said, no, why would I be?" She didn't believe me and went on to say she was sorry for not coming but her mom wouldn't let her go cus she wanted her to watch her little sister and 'besides, she's going to Alaska and I needed to spend time with her anyway." We talked for a little bit

She had to go and said she would call me later. I said Ok. No call last night.... I want to go out with her again to make up for Saturday but isn't it her move to initiate that since she is the one who cancelled? I want to call her but I'm thinking I should let her call me first...

Advice?

 

[Coolage]

i would just call if you want to call. it's not worth worrying about.

 

[ARK]

But when you call, ask her out on a certain day at a certain time. Don't be general and ask her to go out on a date, be specific. I want to know if you want to go to ________ on Thursday night at 7.

 

[JCKey618]

Haha, but I want to go out today....

Guess I could ask tomorrow. That's when War of the Worlds comes out.

 

[Travis1962]

IMO, skip the movie. Suggest something where you can talk with her. Get a bite to eat. Don't waste time on the phone chatting it up with her, either. If she tries to drag you into a phone conversation, tell her you've got to run right now and you'll pick her up at whatever time you planned. Save the chitchat for when you're in-person.

 

[ARK]

Don't call her a ton either. Give it a couple days. Call her Wed. night and I would ask her to go see the movie on Sat. night. You could be somewhat general and say "this weekend". I was wondering if you would like to go see "War of the Worlds" this weekend. That way if she does have plans Sat. night, Friday night could still be a possibility or even Sunday for that matter. Keep the call short and simple that way you have more to talk about on the date too. If your going to a movie, couple it with dinner too that way you can get some conversation in. Don't reveal much about yourself and keep the conversation about her. Smile and keep up the eye contact. Don't forget Kino.

 

[JCKey618]

The thing is, the last time I saw her was a wek ago. My way of thinking is that if there is too much time between dates interest level will drop...? No?

 

[ARK]

One week isnt that long. You don't want to smother her. Just do stuff with her once a week for a while.

 

[libre]

Hello JcKey

My advice, don't call her for a week. See the movie by yourself and let her stew in her juice.

She is probably starting to test you. If you rush for her and if your are her lap dog, your attractiveness will falter.

In one week, if she hasn't called yet, it will be ok to call her to arrange a date. If she then ask you why you did not call her before, just tell her that you were busy or whatever.

 

[libre]

In all loving relationships, after a bit of time, there is a power struggle which ensues. You can expect her to try to have the upper hand in the power struggle. Don't give her a chance.

 

[Maximus_Decimus]

Originally posted by JCKey618
This girl that I'm dating cancelled on me Saturday. Said something came up and she couldn't got and that she was sorry. We didn't talk again til last night. She contacted me and was like 'hey, are you mad at me?"

I said, no, why would I be?" She didn't believe me and went on to say she was sorry for not coming but her mom wouldn't let her go cus she wanted her to watch her little sister and 'besides, she's going to Alaska and I needed to spend time with her anyway." We talked for a little bit
...
Advice?

Dude, stand up for yourself! She is sh*t testing you already. So, her time is more valuable than yours and she can cancel on you whenever she wants?

Also, the excuse that she made up is most likely BS. When you go through enough chicks, you'll find there is a pattern to their lame excuses when they cancel ... it's part of their mechanism of sh*t testing you.

You could have suggested in a C&F manner, a way for her to makeup for wasting your valuable time. Alternatively, you could have put your foot down and told her with a firm voice that you were displeased with her behavior and if she repeats it again, that is the last of your interaction with her (but never get overly angry and lose control - always maintain your composure).

If you want any chance with her, don't let her disrespect you like that.

Maximus_Decimus

 

[JCKey618]

I called her yesterday around 1 and left a message saying I wanted to go out today at 2 and for her to let me know and she never called.

I think it's pretty disrespectful to cancel on me last minute and not take the time to even call me back to tell whether she can go or not. When/if she ever calls, what can I say to express this? I am very hesistant about starting an argument early in the relationship....

 

[optimist prime]

She has little or no IL. Forget about her, dont call her. If she calls you, then maybeeeee go out with her, but your only shot is to quit calling her, shes obviously just not that into you. Dont take it personally.

 

[Bronxtal112]

Keep in mind the less time you are on the phone with women the better off you'll be. The phone in the beginning is just used to set up a date, NOTHING ELSE.

 

[frivolousz21]

In all loving relationships, after a bit of time, there is a power struggle which ensues. You can expect her to try to have the upper hand in the power struggle. Don't give her a chance.

that is the most stupid thing ever posted at sosuave.net

Keep in mind the less time you are on the phone with women the better off you'll be. The phone in the beginning is just used to set up a date, NOTHING ELSE.

that is the 2nd most stupid thing and obviously posted by a afc

One week isnt that long. You don't want to smother her. Just do stuff with her once a week for a while.

Once a week?

how are u going to get her to fall for you in this manner?

once a week is a waste unless ur dating 3 chicks.




stop being so worried about how she will react.

just be confident and things will take care of themselves.


also ur single..u should be dating many women..and talking to many as well...untill u are commited.

 

[JCKey618]

I mean, if her interest level is really low I just don't get it..... Just a week ago she was telling me she liked me and all and 'wanted to spend the day with me so much'....

I mean, it's just....confusing.

 

[JCKey618]

BTW, I'm not really worried about how she will react. If anything she should be worried about how I will react to her not letting me know things ahead of time. I just want to do things right.

But, the truth is, I leave for college in 2.5 months and I know that I shouldn't even really be trying to getinvolved with a new girl, but there is a part of me that doesn't want to fail, you know? And things were going well with her and she was even talking about me coming to her prom which is a year from now...and that was only two outings ago.

Her faily really likes me. Maybe that's a turn-off for her? She kept saying how they treat me better than all the other boys she's talked to in the past and she kept jokingly saying that 'they need to stop being so nice to me." Are girls turned off by guys their parents like> But, on the other hand, she said if her mom doesn't like a boy, they have no chance with her.

 

[libre]

Well young Frivolous, thank you for your insightfullness. I guess it is the sum of your vast experiences in human relationships, or is it your IQ, which give you that superior edge in human behavior interpretation.

JcKey

I repeat my advice. Stay clear of her for a while; she is probably testing you and trying to have you emotionally kowtow to her beautyfull ass. She's playing hard to get, to get you to chase after her. The first one who blinks, loses.

Don't blink and be prepared to write her off if she walks away. If she does walk away, you will find your own pace in the other direction.

Stand straight and be the man that you are growing up to be.

 

[JCKey618]

Man, but I don't have the TIME for her to be playing hard to get. I'm getting surgery next week and that's gonna take me out of action for a couple of weeks or more and I'm going different places this summer and she probably is too....

Why would she start playing hard to get already after shre told me she likes me and has made out with me? It just doesn't make any sense to me.

And the next time she does contact me, what do I say?

 

[Maximus_Decimus]

Originally posted by JCKey618
Man, but I don't have the TIME for her to be playing hard to get. I'm getting surgery next week and that's gonna take me out of action for a couple of weeks or more and I'm going different places this summer and she probably is too....

Why would she start playing hard to get already after shre told me she likes me and has made out with me? It just doesn't make any sense to me.

There are a number of reasons why she's changed her mood. Maybe there is another guy she is interested in. It's also possible you did something since then that turned her off. As I mentioned before, she takes you for granted by now because she stood you up and you let her get away with it! Chicks aren't attracted to men that they cannot respect:

Originally posted by Pook

Remember, if you cannot command respect, you cannot attract love. If you cannot be respected, women will ignore you and/or abuse you.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?threadid=16903&highlight=command+AND+respect+AND+attract

BTW, don't assume that because she made out with you before, that things won't change. If you've been with enough chicks, you ought to know that their emotional states are constantly changing:

Svengali wrote:

8) Eight: Women are very UNstable creatures. Never assume that she will like, love, want or anything else ten minutes from now, as she does now. {Ride the moment, for in a few moments its all going to change.}

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?threadid=67641

BTW, if she gets the vibe that you are needy, that is also a big turnoff.

Maximus_Decimus