should i veto a lunch offer after i messed up

[drift king]

I've read on here lunch dates are a bad idea cos they're considered non-sexual meetings that girls have together. I messed up with a girl a couple weeks ago acting a bit afc and desperate pestering her, instead of apologising I just left it for the bad feelings to pass over. I saw her today and continued as if nothing happened just acted as smooth as I could as if I was picking up a new girl. She suggested we could get together for lunch or something, I felt as if I might be getting friend zoned even tho I told her I don't become friends with girls I date. Would a lunch meeting be appropriate or should I just try for a more sexual evening interaction? Cos I acted too needy and clingy I feel like I need to go slower and don't do anything too threatening, or maybe that's actually what I should do and force her into action? She knows I'm interested still, and judging from her reaction she remembers why she was interested in me in the 1st place. Are lunch dates only good if u are experienced enough to be able to escalate?

 

[Taste]

I've read on here lunch dates are a bad idea cos they're considered non-sexual meetings that girls have together. I messed up with a girl a couple weeks ago acting a bit afc and desperate pestering her, instead of apologising I just left it for the bad feelings to pass over. I saw her today and continued as if nothing happened just acted as smooth as I could as if I was picking up a new girl. She suggested we could get together for lunch or something, I felt as if I might be getting friend zoned even tho I told her I don't become friends with girls I date. Would a lunch meeting be appropriate or should I just try for a more sexual evening interaction? Cos I acted too needy and clingy I feel like I need to go slower and don't do anything too threatening, or maybe that's actually what I should do and force her into action? She knows I'm interested still, and judging from her reaction she remembers why she was interested in me in the 1st place. Are lunch dates only good if u are experienced enough to be able to escalate?

Notice by continuing as if nothing happened, she suggested you get together for lunch? That's because in that moment you were really expressing who you truly are, you may have acted smooth but deep down that is the person you truly are and it sparked her interest. This needy, clingyness isn't you, but it takes over you and you need to learn to manage it and eventually it'll go.

Don't take it all too seriously. Hell, I take girls to the supermarket and throw apples and food at them and playfully bump them with a shopping trolley, It doesn't matter where I take them because that's irrelevant. What's relevant is are you having fun? Is she having fun? You need to turn dates into adventures. Read my book for more ideas on that. However, an example would be when I take a girl out and we go to lunch (Because I'm hungry) I'll playfully get down on my knees and pretend to propose her with a ring made out of a napkin and everyone will congratulate us and clap. I'm just having fun and connecting with her on an emotional and playful level. If you're not having fun and you're stuck in your head and you're worrying how it goes, you'll convey that to her and it'll **** up the date. If you don't give a **** and just allow yourself to be free from that, you'll actually find it hard to **** up.

When you turn dates into adventures, it no longer becomes judge/contestant where if you **** up you're out. Instead it becomes a "Our story" And if you actually **** up and you do it in a playful way, it shows vulnerability and naturally attracts her.

 

[drift king]

The lunch offer was only in response to the fact I semi-apologised for doing something wrong, not really apologising for the afc needy behaviour. I know low interest can be raised but u can also completely destroy any interest which is what I did which surprises me that she 'appears' interested again or the lunch offer is an LJBF offer which justifys in her mind that she can have me anytime. I just feel I could get into a situation where when I call this week she doesn't pick up. Campus is small is it better if I arrange lunch with her face to face so I can be more smooth than I would on the phone? I don't want a situation where I call, she doesn't pick up or return call and I see her and she doesn't want to speak. I can't really guage her interest level right now, all it feels like is I reignited the flame successfully.

 

[Ziniath]

Dude, I have one question: what do YOU want to do?

Forget the rules for one moment, forget how you're *supposed* to be, and forget about the fact that you "messed up": in my experience, only ONE moment matters, and that is this one right here.

This moment, right here, has NOTHING to do with what occurred in the past, no matter how much you think the past impacts this moment, it does not (unless you let it).

I've found from my own experience that this is ESPECIALLY true for women: they don't care what you did in the past (even the good stuff), what they care about is what you're doing right now.

So, with that out of the way, here is what I offer you, sir: go somewhere that YOU want to go, not somewhere the seduction community says to go, not somewhere your mum says you should go, not somewhere an "alpha male" would go.

Go somewhere that you KNOW you're going to have fun at, and bring her along for the adventure (just as Taste suggested).

Walk *your* path, brother, and bring her along for a fun ride. Just make sure you're having as much fun as you possibly can, and that she's able to be a part of that.

I've never understood why men would compromise their path to get a response out of a woman: I'd much rather do the things I love doing, and be rejected for it, than be accepted for living to somebody else's standards: f#$k that.

Happy to clarify anything further for those that would like clarification.

I hope this helps you chief.

 

[drift king]

thing is i want to know how i should go about it, i know im much better in person cos i can use my charm or at least fake it to sway her, i know she originally was physically attracted to me, my voice the way i behaved and i disappointed by not being this way throughout the dates but she still loves to hear me speak.

today was no different, the IOI's she gave me, playing and preening her hair why she talked to me, she did switch into defensive mode at 1 point tho crossing her arms but then she opened up again later after i made her laugh. if i was coming on too strong last time would suggesting a night time date be synonimous with coming on too strong again?

i feel that even a lunch time date i can still escalate enough if she lets me sit next to her as oppose to opposite her cos i wont be able to kino otherwise.

she was uncomfortable last time cos i overdid the kino, i guess for daytime dates light kino at most is necessary and dont try the kiss close unless shes absolutely primed for it?

 

[drift king]

has anyone had any success stories from acting afc at the beginning managing to have a good stable relationship with the same girl?

 

[drift king]

should i take it slower or still make a get together for a late afternoon/evening?

 

[Giles]

Go for lunch, don't act interested, meet her there don't pick her up, don't mention another get together. Be social. Set an alarm on your phone and pretend it' a phone call. Set the alarm so that you have time to get a drink , but still haven't decided what to order and cut lunch short and make her pay for your drink as you walk out the door. Leaving abruptly will spark interest and she'll prolly txt u or call you later, still be busy with whatever emergency you have and return a call a few hours after hers before she forgets about the interest she just had in you , then ask her what she wanted. Make it look like she wants you. Once you have the interest back you should be able to go from there. Bring your game next time.

 

[drift king]

have i waited too long to make the call for the arrangment?

i told her i'd be busy the next few days but i'd like to take her out sometime next week (this week)

i made the original convo on friday so anything could have happened over the weekend, i just wonder whether she'd still be wondering about me 4 days later or just concentrate on her new things. she easily could have met a guy this weekend so whatever feelings she had for me on friday may have gone or diminished due to the excitement of something new.

how long is too long to wait?

 

[Giles]

Thursday is a good day for lunch. It shouldn't be too long as long as you haven't wrecked your credibility since her extension of the offer. Waiting might turn out in your favor it shows that you're not needy. It's right before the weekend and if u play it right you can get her in the sack by Friday or Saturday if u manage to shock and awe her. Go half caveman on her. There's no return from full-blown caveman. Keep the two strikes rule in mind though if things don't work out drop her like a bad nonaddictive habit. WARNING: Don't make the plans more than one day in advance you don't want it to seem like a big deal and you've been thinking about it, but at the same time she might toss you a rejection line if you're impulsive and wait right until that day.

 

[everywomanshero]

Lunch dates are fine. One of the hottest milfs I banged I met for lunch. Gave her a hug at her car and said let's do something tonight. We went to a bowling alley bar for a grand total of 30 minutes to an hour playing pool before I suggested we go back to her place and watch a movie. Then I ****ed her.

I don't really worry about such things. The important component is getting her somewhere that she's ****able in. All this "do this, not that" crap stems from PUA type thinking where every mirco detail is all important which leads to a guy who is ridden with anxiety.

 

[Giles]

The PUA type thinking is drilled into your head if you can't think for yourself and be willing to experiment and try new techniques well you'll miss out on a lot of amazing things in life like banging milfs. Every your post was amazing.

 

[drift king]

i havent made the call yet cos im ill tho i planned to do it today or yesterday but cos i feel really weak i dont want to set up a date until im 100%. thing is i said to her on friday i was busy for the 'next few days' is waiting till call tomorrow too far gone now?

i feel whatever thoughts or feelings she had last friday would have faded by now cos it seems like such a long time ago.