I agree with you Dash, only reason why I did so is because number 1) we are under full hard lockdown, everything is closed and number 2) the weather is really crappy, rain and cold outside.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Should I try to reschedule later or just drop her?
- Thread starter Juanto
- Start date
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
bat soup
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 10, 2020
- Messages
- 4,210
- Reaction score
- 4,701
- Age
- 46
If that's why she didn't come then she's lying to you already. Plus she could still have suggested something else if she had enough enthusiasm and a working brain.
Dash Riprock
Master Don Juan
Wait for a break in the weather then invite her to "join you" (like you're doing it with or without her) for an outdoor excursion.
she said that her kid was sick with fever, and that’s why she couldn’t come. An excuse,of course.
bat soup
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 10, 2020
- Messages
- 4,210
- Reaction score
- 4,701
- Age
- 46
Yeah, I'd assume all excuses from women are total bs unless proven otherwise. Women rarely have the guts to be straight up.
In any case, she would have just rescheduled instead of cancelling if she had genuine enthusiasm. If you got sick, I'm pretty sure you'd have done that rather than using it as an excuse to cancel without suggesting an alternative.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Dash Riprock
Master Don Juan
JFC, dude. You shouldn't ALWAYS assume the woman is up to some sort of surreptitious activity and trying to DQ you.
Maybe she doesn't know when her kid will recover, or if she can get coverage from a sitter, or maybe she has work s*hit or ex s*hit going on, etc., etc. You don't know, do you?
If OP tries 1-2 more times and she blows him off, then maybe move on. People have lives outside of dating. At least I do. One thing I've learned over the years is NOT EVERY woman knows about the "immediate counter offer" strategy they're all supposed to employ if they can't make a date.
OP, give it another shot in a week or two.
Good luck.
Good advice.
I always give 2nd chances to single moms merely due to the fact that I'm a dad and know things can come up. And as a single mom, sometimes they don't even know their own schedule so it's hard for them to suggest an alternate time right their and then. This is one of the cons obviously to dating them.
But in OP's situation, I'd say it's dead in the water personally.
I agree that I have nothing to lose here by giving it another try next week, only thing is i am compromised by the lockdown and the weather (which looks like will remain rainy for the next 2 weeks). Any suggestions on how to proceed given this context?
I've been in the same boat in regards to lockdowns, cold, snow. I did find some shopping malls that were open and is a good place to walk in during the winter. Grab a coffee and walk. Another is get coffee and talk in the car. Yeah it's a bit lame but can also be used to segway into getting her into your place after comfort and safety has been established.
We are not allowed here to buy coffee, even for takeway, and all shopping malls are closed.
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
Make some gourmet coffee and bring it with you in a insulated thermos with a couple cups.
**** man, you just gotta think outside of the box. Over the summer, I would bring a picnic basket of stuff I cooked and have a date in the park. This definitely gave them tingles and made it easier for them to invite me back over to their place.
Thanks mate, good tips
On numerous occasions, a girl declined my date invitation with no immediate counter-offer. I responded "no worries, let me know" or something to that effect, and indeed, a few days later, sometimes a week later, she re-engaged me.
Women are attracted to confidence and emotional security. Since it's not visible or a physical trait, like female attractiveness, they need to test and see if you're for real. Attractive women will, intentionally or not, probe you like this. There are a lot of very good-looking men who are insecure and validation-seeking as fvck.
Women are attracted to confidence and emotional security. Since it's not visible or a physical trait, like female attractiveness, they need to test and see if you're for real. Attractive women will, intentionally or not, probe you like this. There are a lot of very good-looking men who are insecure and validation-seeking as fvck.
DEEZEDBRAH
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 24, 2017
- Messages
- 6,068
- Reaction score
- 4,848
- Age
- 36
Single mom's are busted. Date younger and tighter.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Yes, no harm in trying again in a week or so.
AureliusMaximus
Master Don Juan
Why do you want to ever date single mother in the first place?
(I do get that you have some past history, but that was also 15 years ago and lots have changed since then. You guys are not the same "you's" as you are now.)
If anything I'd would keep her as a LJBF contact and maybe you can spin some new plates from her social circle. I'd would never let it go further. But that's just me of course and my 5 cents on the subject.
As I wrote on the initial post, I have no desire of having a relationship with a single mom, but since this one is attractive I wouldnt mind having her as a plate.
Just as an update to this story, on thursday night I reached out to her asking if her kid was feeling better, to which she replied very quickly saying he was feeling better although not fully recovered. We had some small back and forth and then I invited her for a walk on saturday (today) since the weather would be good (we are still under full lockdown here, everything is closed). She asked me to confirm the next day just to make sure the kid wouldnt need her. Then yesterday (Friday) we texted a bit during the day and in the evening she confirmed with me the date and time of it.
Now its Saturday, and she just texted me saying she doesnt feel like leaving home and will probably take a nap this afternoon...
And, she hopes I wont get upset about it .Wont even reply.
Clamslammer
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- May 6, 2018
- Messages
- 223
- Reaction score
- 285
- Age
- 43
Never ever wait for a god damn girl to decide. The minute she said to text the next day to confirm you should have took back the invite.Just as an update to this story, on thursday night I reached out to her asking if her kid was feeling better, to which she replied very quickly saying he was feeling better although not fully recovered. We had some small back and forth and then I invited her for a walk on saturday (today) since the weather would be good (we are still under full lockdown here, everything is closed). She asked me to confirm the next day just to make sure the kid wouldnt need her. Then yesterday (Friday) we texted a bit during the day and in the evening she confirmed with me the date and time of it.
Now its Saturday, and she just texted me saying she doesnt feel like leaving home and will probably take a nap this afternoon...
Wont even reply.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.