Should I try to patch things up with her?

[the_stig]

December of last year I met a 31 year old on POF, it turned out she was a fitness instructor at my gym. We hit it off but agreed to meet as "friends" as to not potentially make things awkward at the club. We ended up grabbing drinks several times, she'd always initiate contact, act excited to see me, bug me to take her class, however we both ended up in other relationships.

Several months later we're both single and talking about hanging out again. She even agreed to go to the strip club with me having never gone before. I wouldn't doubt she was attracted to me, but can't be postive as nothing physical happened besides kino.

Here's where it all went wrong: On facebook we started discussing whether or not POF is a hook-up site. I made the stupid mistake of saying "If it isn't then how come i've slept with x girls from there" and she flew off the handle with "Well sluts run rampid in this city. That doesn't make the site a sex stop, nor does it make it okay for you or ANY man to treat a woman as such. I gotta go".

I figured she'd cool off and things would be fine, but that was the last time we spoke. I think she attempted to make eye contact with me at the gym a few days later, but I ignored her. She deleted me off facebook a month or so after that. It's silly walking around the club pretending to ignore each other. Recently we were both on the treadmill, I could see her looking my way constantly and i'll often notice her watching me.

She was a cool chick. I really enjoyed her company and miss chatting with her. Should I be the bigger person and just approach her at the club asking how shes been?

 

[Warrior74]

Why? What's fun is fun and what's done is DONE.

 

[speed dawg]

What the h3ll? Are you like 15 years old?

First of all, why didn't you make a move with this chick instead of running your mouth?

Second of all, why did you use facebook to act like an ass?

Thirdly, why do you care enough to overthink the situation? Go ask her out or go jerk off. At least you'll know what's up.

 

[Colossus]

NEVER disclose your sexual conquests to a woman. Lesson learned.

If I were you I'd just act like nothing happened. Who cares if she got her panties in a bunch. Dont ignore her, just say hi and go about your day.

 

[Solomon]

he was a cool chick. I really enjoyed her company and miss chatting with her. Should I be the bigger person and just approach her at the club asking how shes been?

Been in this situation plenty of times(not with women but falling out with men), no apologizes needed just keep it brief and professional

That's what I'd do, if she wants to hang then that's up to you but just keep it in first gear mate

 

[The_411]

It's certainly salvagable, the question do you really want to salvage it?

Frankly I don't see any massive red flags although the whole deleting facebook and all that drama is childish. It's hard to say just interact with her be humorous and whatever do not backtrack or apologize about that incident just pretend it didn't happen and if she brings it up just say it's not important. To be honest the whole "argument" was based on soemthing that's irrelevant. does it really matter if it is or isn't a pick-up site?

As Colossus said don't ever tell a woman about your prior conquests.

In this case you arguing that POF was a pick-up site basically her made her feel like a piece of meat and that you were on PoF simply to pick up lots of women. That may be what you are trying to do but you can't disclose that in a serious manner to a woman. You can only get that point across in jest.

Just initiate conversation and have 0 expectations.

 

[Knight's Cross]

I would do this, since you are at the gym together and that's not comfortable, put on a $hit eating grin, say hi "insert girls name", good afternoon"insert girls name", whatever the time happens to be and move on with your workout. You can be civil without acting interested. Then if she wants to amp it up she will. Don't go after her. You've already shown your cards re: POF. She thinks your a womanizer, which you are and she's actually ok with. You'd rather be known as that in her eyes than a beta orbiter. If she really is checking you out, she wanted it, you didn't give it to her, you made the POF comments, and she thought,"damn he's sexing other women, but I didn't make the cut". So now she's trying to raise her own value via the scarcity tactic.
My bet on this one is you won't be able to break her ***** shield now that it's up. Want to know the only way you can? Don't try. Just be cool, be civil, say hello in a friendly way and move onto the weights. Learn from the experience. YOU NEVER DISCUSS YOUR CONQUESTS. Let them think what they want.
KC

 

[dark god]

December of last year I met a 31 year old on POF, it turned out she was a fitness instructor at my gym. We hit it off but agreed to meet as "friends" as to not potentially make things awkward at the club. We ended up grabbing drinks several times, she'd always initiate contact, act excited to see me, bug me to take her class, however we both ended up in other relationships. My question is whos choice was it to truly be friends yours or hers..my guess hers an you chose the nice guy path and went along with it.

Several months later we're both single and talking about hanging out again. She even agreed to go to the strip club with me having never gone before. I wouldn't doubt she was attracted to me, but can't be postive as nothing physical happened besides kino. whats there to to talk about?? If you like the chick be verbal

Here's where it all went wrong: On facebook we started discussing whether or not POF is a hook-up site. I made the stupid mistake of saying "If it isn't then how come i've slept with x girls from there" and she flew off the handle with "Well sluts run rampid in this city. That doesn't make the site a sex stop, nor does it make it okay for you or ANY man to treat a woman as such. I gotta go". Heres where I dont agree with the other guys: If this chick is TRULY a friend then there should be ZERO Problem with you talkin about banging other broads. I mean she a FRIEND right?? NOW if you actually want to bang this broad the n keep your mouth shut Son.

I figured she'd cool off and things would be fine, but that was the last time we spoke. I think she attempted to make eye contact with me at the gym a few days later, but I ignored her. She deleted me off facebook a month or so after that. It's silly walking around the club pretending to ignore each other. Recently we were both on the treadmill, I could see her looking my way constantly and i'll often notice her watching me. WTF..Its silly pretending to to ignore each other YET you still do it...Um yea that makes sense.

She was a cool chick. I really enjoyed her company and miss chatting with her. Should I be the bigger person and just approach her at the club asking how shes been?

You gotta figure out if shes a Bud or a potentional Tucker max story..make a choice and follow through.

 

[DMSR76]

I would do this, since you are at the gym together and that's not comfortable, put on a $hit eating grin, say hi "insert girls name", good afternoon"insert girls name", whatever the time happens to be and move on with your workout. You can be civil without acting interested. Then if she wants to amp it up she will. Don't go after her. You've already shown your cards re: POF. She thinks your a womanizer, which you are and she's actually ok with. You'd rather be known as that in her eyes than a beta orbiter. If she really is checking you out, she wanted it, you didn't give it to her, you made the POF comments, and she thought,"damn he's sexing other women, but I didn't make the cut". So now she's trying to raise her own value via the scarcity tactic.
My bet on this one is you won't be able to break her ***** shield now that it's up. Want to know the only way you can? Don't try. Just be cool, be civil, say hello in a friendly way and move onto the weights. Learn from the experience. YOU NEVER DISCUSS YOUR CONQUESTS. Let them think what they want.
KC

Excellent advice.