i went on a double date last night. me, this girl i recently started talking to, my buddy and his girlfriend. nothing special, just dinner and drinks. should i text her mentioning anything about last night, or would i come off as being clingy? if i should text her, is there anything in particular i should say?
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
should i text her the day after a date?
- Thread starter duke104
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
I would wait two days or three and call her ask her out. No texts. When you call talk for few minutes small talk then tell her you had a great time with her last time and would like to see her again.
Call = Confidence
Text = no balls
Call = Confidence
Text = no balls
Intrusive and full on = Alpha .. she will have no choice but to be impressed.Jariel said:
Let him try text it should work. From experience call always better. Maybe she would be scared (feel intruded) bit but deep down she would be impressed and it gives the guy better chances. I tried both text and phone calls. Every fool can text but not every fool can pick up the phone and make sure job gets done leave her no exit to back off. Maybe too head on yes, it has higher rate of success. I guess I am little rough around the edges that's what they say
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Pimp-sicle
Master Don Juan
r0cky said:
Definitely agree with the part in bold.
But not the whole text or call issue.
Guys on this board mentally masturbate over the issue of when to call, call one text, text over call waaaaay too much!
When in reality what they should really focus on is CRUSHING IT IN PERSON! If you show her a good time and she becomes attracted to you; she will answer your call if you sent a carrier pigeon with a note.
Develop your social skills and then you won't have to plan when to call because anytime will be the right time.
PIMP
Korrupt
Banned
No, you won't come off as clingy if you just say something like "Hey *name*, I had a good time last night. We should definitely go out again sometime soon."duke104 said:
Serg897
Master Don Juan
Do whichever you prefer. Some girls are definately more likely to respond to texts, but I prefer to call and actually have a short conversation. The way I see it if texting vs. calling is really the critical issue that will make or break this relationship this girl is simply not worth dealing with.
I used to think this too, but recently I overheard a girl talking about how she stopped talking to a guy cause he was a texter, and she perceived it as him being a p ussyJariel said:
Just saying.. I much prefer texting. Maybe its cause I actually am a p ussy.
Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
Texting turns you into a cartoon, another character in her land of unicorns and rainbows. You are two dimensional, easy to get rid of because you are COMMON.
Don't be common. Men who text to any great degree turn themselves into throwaways because you become part of her shallow, two-dimensional world.
Force yourself into her world in four dimensions (3 dimensions plus time). Why would a man be afraid to "intrude" into her world via voice while at the same time subscribing to the idea of taking up lots of physical space when in-person?
Why diminish yourself into the common? Shouldn't a man differentiate himself as a man to be dealt with on his own terms? Food for thought...
Don't be common. Men who text to any great degree turn themselves into throwaways because you become part of her shallow, two-dimensional world.
Force yourself into her world in four dimensions (3 dimensions plus time). Why would a man be afraid to "intrude" into her world via voice while at the same time subscribing to the idea of taking up lots of physical space when in-person?
Why diminish yourself into the common? Shouldn't a man differentiate himself as a man to be dealt with on his own terms? Food for thought...
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Calling would be better in an ideal world, if she were home alone for example. But what if she is with her ex and he's dropping off the kid or something? A text message can wait until she's ready to respond.
Now, if she texts you then you can call her back to ask her out.
Now, if she texts you then you can call her back to ask her out.
Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
Just to be clear, I'm not saying that ALL texting is bad. Every single time we hit that send button we have to determine what will it be accomplishing for us, and could it be misinterpreted?
Every text should be something that leverages your position, not diminishes it. Texting is truly a chess game. It shouldn't be, but it is.
As I think about it, we can also run the risk of losing our mystique via texting. Especially when in-person we have created this mystique and then all of a sudden we're "LOLing" and "smiley facing" ourselves into oblivion just like her silly friends and her hopeless orbiters.
I consider texting to be a useful tool, but a dangerous one. It can turn on you instantaneousely if she misinterprets (and since as a female she defines words and expressions differently than you), she WILL misinterpret.
When you are in person or talking on the phone and you make a conversational mistake, you can cover it by diverting her attention. Bullet dodged. However, when you do that during texting, there is no option to do a quick distraction. It's game over. That sudden long silence is her assigning all sorts of meanings to what you just typed. She might be looking at it again and again, which literally translates to you saying it again and again.
For myself, I treat texting with the utmost respect as something that can turn on my very quickly if I'm not careful. Above all, I don't want to make myself common, just another part of the throwaway conversations she has every hour of every day with her friends.
My job is to become larger than life, to transcend the common. I can't do that in that little tiny window of mediocrity unless I know how to elicit the emotions that I want to elicit. That means well-crafted words, VERY FEW words, and above all, zero important or deep conversations during texting.
Her phone funnels the people in her life down to a single tiny interface and all become equal therein.
Every text should be something that leverages your position, not diminishes it. Texting is truly a chess game. It shouldn't be, but it is.
As I think about it, we can also run the risk of losing our mystique via texting. Especially when in-person we have created this mystique and then all of a sudden we're "LOLing" and "smiley facing" ourselves into oblivion just like her silly friends and her hopeless orbiters.
I consider texting to be a useful tool, but a dangerous one. It can turn on you instantaneousely if she misinterprets (and since as a female she defines words and expressions differently than you), she WILL misinterpret.
When you are in person or talking on the phone and you make a conversational mistake, you can cover it by diverting her attention. Bullet dodged. However, when you do that during texting, there is no option to do a quick distraction. It's game over. That sudden long silence is her assigning all sorts of meanings to what you just typed. She might be looking at it again and again, which literally translates to you saying it again and again.
For myself, I treat texting with the utmost respect as something that can turn on my very quickly if I'm not careful. Above all, I don't want to make myself common, just another part of the throwaway conversations she has every hour of every day with her friends.
My job is to become larger than life, to transcend the common. I can't do that in that little tiny window of mediocrity unless I know how to elicit the emotions that I want to elicit. That means well-crafted words, VERY FEW words, and above all, zero important or deep conversations during texting.
Her phone funnels the people in her life down to a single tiny interface and all become equal therein.
nismo-4
Moderator
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Don't you think if a woman is really into you, she'll want to hear your voice?!
Voice=Phone. Call her ass! Stop overanalyzing!
Case closed. Sh*t!
Voice=Phone. Call her ass! Stop overanalyzing!
Case closed. Sh*t!
If she likes you it won't seem clingy if you text the next day...
If she doesn't like you it will seem clingy if you text the next day...but it doesn't really matter at that point.
Absolutely nothing wrong with texting or calling the next day. In fact most guys I know who get lots of sexing call or text the next day. It's a nerd myth to wait a couple days. I should know!
If she doesn't like you it will seem clingy if you text the next day...but it doesn't really matter at that point.
Absolutely nothing wrong with texting or calling the next day. In fact most guys I know who get lots of sexing call or text the next day. It's a nerd myth to wait a couple days. I should know!
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
OC Speedball
Don Juan
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Remember in David DeAngelo's "Double Your Dating" he said that when he e-mails a girl first then she is more likely to answer his phone call? He said it's something he can't explain, but it makes her feel closer to you somehow.
Now, I know that e-mailing is old school, and I know a lot of you don't care what PUAs have to say. But David D was spot on when he said that. Why do you think that people get into relationships faster on online dating sites, and they say that they felt like they knew the person before they even met up? Hell, I even feel like I know some of you guys personally because I see your posts all the time.
Texting is the same thing as e-mailing. It builds a small level of comfort (not too much), so she's more likely to pick up the phone. I usually send 5-10 texts over a period of two days and then call. They ALWAYS pick up. I can get girls on dates, but then I usually screw up on the dates. I'm getting better though. Trust me when I say text a few times before calling.
By the way, it might be different for girls age 30 and up. Different generation.
Now, I know that e-mailing is old school, and I know a lot of you don't care what PUAs have to say. But David D was spot on when he said that. Why do you think that people get into relationships faster on online dating sites, and they say that they felt like they knew the person before they even met up? Hell, I even feel like I know some of you guys personally because I see your posts all the time.
Texting is the same thing as e-mailing. It builds a small level of comfort (not too much), so she's more likely to pick up the phone. I usually send 5-10 texts over a period of two days and then call. They ALWAYS pick up. I can get girls on dates, but then I usually screw up on the dates. I'm getting better though
. Trust me when I say text a few times before calling. By the way, it might be different for girls age 30 and up. Different generation.
LostAndConfused
Master Don Juan
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Read, my friend: http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2008/03/27/dread/
Essentially, from my experience, the more romantic the gesture you give a girl, the more distant you act toward her afterwards.
Had a nice date? Ignore her for three days. Typical result example = "Hey stranger" or "hey you " or "hey "
Complimented her on her beautiful eyes as she looked up at you during a BJ? Ignore her for half a day after she leaves. Typical result example = "heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy"
Essentially, from my experience, the more romantic the gesture you give a girl, the more distant you act toward her afterwards.
Had a nice date? Ignore her for three days. Typical result example = "Hey stranger
" or "hey you " or "hey "Complimented her on her beautiful eyes as she looked up at you during a BJ? Ignore her for half a day after she leaves. Typical result example = "heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy"
DonGorgon
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double date is BS dont contact her unless u Fed her and even then its 2 days later
teacha
Senior Don Juan
You are over-complicating things.... Remember, if a woman is into you, she will be thrilled that you even decided to contact her. How you do it, will be of no concern to her.MasterFuu said:
Shiii, you could even send smoke signals or a pigeon, and she will get wet.:crackup:
You know whats really really funny?
This site and various self help "PUA" resources have been around for a long time now and we STILL cant come up with a simple answer to such simple questions. "should i text her the next day?" "text or call?"
hahahaha, too funny. I have no effing idea either.
This site and various self help "PUA" resources have been around for a long time now and we STILL cant come up with a simple answer to such simple questions. "should i text her the next day?" "text or call?"
hahahaha, too funny. I have no effing idea either.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.