Should I tell her

[kdnash82]

Here is the background. Summer 2007, I got back with an ex. Fall 2007 we were living together. Jan 2008 we got married. March 2008 we were seperated and I had moved out. May 2008 I found out she was pregnant. 2 weeks later she miscarried. September 2008 I filed for divorce. April 15, 2009 everything is final.

Now this whole time I've been playing the field. Meeting a lot of new women and overall enjoying life. Enjoying life A LOT! April 2009, I meet this girl, and we immediately hit it off. I found myself always wanting to be around her and even though we've never told each other, I can tell she feels the same way. We'll see each other after a few days and she'll make a comment like "It feels like I haven't seen you in forever!" We both decided to take our time with the whole sex thing because things were going so well and we'd hate to ruin it with sex. My idea, she concurred. For those who don't know, sex leads to complications. That lasted a good week and a half at best.

Anyway, things are good. I like her friends, and she likes mine. We haven't even known each other for a month, and she's invited me to come with her to her friends wedding in Hawaii next month. I told her depending on my schedule I would. 4 days together in one of the most romantic vacation spots.

Things seem to be moving a little fast, but I'm cool with that because she definately has her priorities straight and I don't have to worry about her asking to move in anytime soon because we're both looking for houses to buy. Heard through the grapevine (aka my female roommate) that she's focused on her career which is wonderful because she won't be relying on me for her fun in life.

So my question is, should I tell her that I'm divorced and that technically I was still married when we met? If yes, then when should I tell her, and how? If things get serious between us, then eventually I think it should come out.

 

[mothballs]

I think that mentioning a divorce comes with the first or second date... you really shouldn't put it off too much longer or it's going to put a rift in the relationship... play it off as you didn't think it was that big of a deal because you've been seperated for a long time, but thought she should know the details before you go further. If she really likes you as much as you say it shouldn't be a problem. Being invited to a wedding doesn't necessarily mean things are moving that fast, obviously she'd want to take you along if you're still together then... a trip to Hawaii would be cool, just make sure you're not footing her bill. Keep your mind in check and try your best to distinguish between infatuation and love as things continue to progress.

 

[kdnash82]

I think that mentioning a divorce comes with the first or second date... you really shouldn't put it off too much longer or it's going to put a rift in the relationship... play it off as you didn't think it was that big of a deal because you've been seperated for a long time, but thought she should know the details before you go further. If she really likes you as much as you say it shouldn't be a problem. Being invited to a wedding doesn't necessarily mean things are moving that fast, obviously she'd want to take you along if you're still together then... a trip to Hawaii would be cool, just make sure you're not footing her bill. Keep your mind in check and try your best to distinguish between infatuation and love as things continue to progress.

Solid advice. Thanks!