"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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should i talk about myself?

stumpy_mcgee

Don Juan
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Ok, I have a question. When I first meet a girl, I can get any single one of them talking about themselves for hours, without it seeming like an interview. I totally leave myself out and any question they ask me, I kind of just sluff off, give an ambiguous answer, and direct something back at them.
The problem arises in the girls who I talk to who I've known for awhile...they've began to stop asking me questions, and if I don't direct the conversation...there's pure silence because they have no idea what to say. I'm beginning to wonder if they just see me as this totally boring person with nothing else to them? Should I begin to start talking about myself? Not implying that when I talk about myself, i'm going to 'open up my soul to her' and tell her all of my feelings on everything from taking a dump to Santa Clause. I'm just wondering if I should talk about hobbies and passions and what i've done and fun stories from the past. Occasionally open up about how I really feel about, say, a passion of mine, or a distant memory of me and my grandfather doing something before he died, something along those lines?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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DonJuanMonk

Master Don Juan
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There is nothing wrong about talking about yourself or your latest plans.

Go for it.
 

Damian

Senior Don Juan
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When you ask her a question, let her finish answering, then answer your own question.

he-What do you do for a living?
she-i work as a consultant, blah blah
he-wow thats must be a really interesting job, i work at...

Ask open ended questions and DISCUSS things.

Read the link that's in my signature, it has some great conversation tips

-Damian
 

Borgon

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Originally posted by Damian
When you ask her a question, let her finish answering, then answer your own question.

he-What do you do for a living?
she-i work as a consultant, blah blah
he-wow thats must be a really interesting job, i work at...

Ask open ended questions and DISCUSS things.

Read the link that's in my signature, it has some great conversation tips

-Damian
I use the same but let her ask you questions or change the subject to see where her mind is at, and then follow up on it.
 
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