Should I still be trying to win my ex back?

[guywhoneedshelp]

We broke up 3 weeks ago. I went about a week without contacting her and then started sending her some e-mails. We've been e-mailing back and forth, pretty much just voicing our opinions. She seems like she's changed a little bit, yet I still want her. We do send long messages to each other, which basically consist of me telling her I've changed and will make things work, and her saying things like "relationships should be easy, we shouldn't have to work this hard at it." However, the fact that she does answer to my e-mails, makes me at least think I have a chance. We were together for 1 year. What do you think?

 

[boy2spartan]

nope don't do it i promise you-its like ripping your heart out and playing baseball with it...at this point it sounds like you are waay more vulnerable than her man...when you try to go back you give females a curtain power over you like i can have this guy if i want...honestly you have to move forward...i promise you if you go back you will be hurt unless your trying to marry this girl dont do it and move on...from previous experience you gotta go to the next dont wait around this girl till u have nothing left

 

[Jeffst1980]

Already--a chance to put this to good use:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=149268

 

[In2theGame]

nope don't do it i promise you-its like ripping your heart out and playing baseball with it...at this point it sounds like you are waay more vulnerable than her man...when you try to go back you give females a curtain power over you like i can have this guy if i want...honestly you have to move forward...i promise you if you go back you will be hurt unless your trying to marry this girl dont do it and move on...from previous experience you gotta go to the next dont wait around this girl till u have nothing left

Let him do it, its the only way he'll learn.

 

[Telos]

All I read was the thread title, and the answer most definitely is NO.

 

[boy2spartan]

Let him do it, its the only way he'll learn.

hahaha your just like forget even helping him let em see how it is

point is i can almost garuntee that if he tries to get back its gonna be bad

 

[Smack]

All I read was the thread title, and the answer most definitely is NO.

Ditto.

People really should read the Don Juan Bible and at least understand the basics before they post.

 

[SmoothTalker]

Alright buddy.. you're doing this all wrong.

First of all, the other posters are right, from the sound of it you are in no condition right now to get back with your ex. Unlike some people here I don't believe that it's 100% always a terrible idea, but in this situation it certainly is. She is replying because she likes knowing that you want her so bad. IF she takes you back she will have zero respect.

Why do I say this? Well girls lose respect for you even if YOU take THEM back after they've ****ed up and then begged for forgiveness. You'd think they would appreciate you giving them another chance, but they generally lose respect for you because you want them badly enough to forgive.

Now think about how much respect for you she'd have if you want her even more, to the point where YOU are asking her to take you back.'

Cut contact right now, start looking for new women.

She may at some point contact you, and may even be interested in winning you back. Only at that time should you even consider getting back together, and even them, proceed very very cautiously. Ideally by that time you will have gotten over her and onto another girl.

 

[neko]

Try a casual thing where you can interact as friends. A date to the mall on a saturday morning? Be a friend and there is the possibility of a little more. Make it casual and sincere so she will be willing to meet up. Make her feel comfortable. Comfort is key my friend. Women will date and mate with men they feel comfortable around.

 

[nismo-4]

The answer should be in the thread title written as F*CK NO!!!

You may succeed and then get played and beaten like Final Fantasy 3! It's more trouble than it's worth.

 

[chuchu]

I think you have a problem. Obviously you haven't learn anything in here.

 

[decades]

no you should be letting her go. Then proceed to get out there and get more experience as a DJ because right now you are operating from the AFC play book.

 

[Da Realist]

Who ended the relationship and what was the reason?

 

[guywhoneedshelp]

Well I broke up with her a few times and we got together again...now she has broke up with me and has only brought up reasons in the past as to why she broke up with me.

"I need a guy who will pay for me and always drive me place"

Well if she's serious about that then **** no, I wont go that low. And by replying to her mail saying "I can be the man you want me to be, I can be what you need" I end up being the safety net that she thinks she can go back to.

I think the key here is to wait. If she wants to hang out a few times, I will. Then, I will never mention anything about us getting back together. She will. Then if she begs enough maybe, just maybe I'll say yes. I've pursued her enough since the breakup, its her turn to show some interest. She hasn't replied to my voice mail from yesterday or my previous e-mail, so I'm waiting. I can't deal with her childish bull sh!t right now anyway.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Never root through the garbage once you drag the can to the curb. You get dirty, your neighbors see you do it and you rarely find what you thought was worth digging for.



It will always be time better spent developing a new plate (or 3) than attempting to repair an old one. The amount of effort and energy, the time you invest in trying to negotiate a previous GF desire is much better used with a new girl, with whom you have no prior history. I have no doubt you're emotionally invested in this, but you're far more likely to regret the effort you expend to repair it in comparison to meeting and developing with a new girl.

Far too many guys subconsciously think that getting back with the Ex will be easier than risking potential rejection with new women. They go back to the what they think was their "sure thing", with the logic being that she'd been sexual with him before so all he's got to do is fix what was wrong and go back to that guaranteed sex. The reality is actually the opposite - what was "wrong" in the prior relationship becomes the litmus test for the 'repaired' relationship and sex and genuine desire are now conditional. Getting with a new woman has none of these conditions or prior negotiations, and genuine desire isn't a compromise.

 

[Da Realist]

Cut her off totally and better yourself. Occupy your time with something else, but don't get involed deeply with another woman too soon because you'll be needy and emotional. Just keep your head up and take it one day at a time. She may stay gone or come back, but it won't matter becuase you'll be living your life the way you want. I know what I said seems counter-intuitive to just let her go completely, but when you take control of yourself again you gain more than just her running back.

 

[aix237]

dude wtf are you telling her that sh1t for. Ignore her azz completely and let her initiate. You get her hooked like that. YOU reply back only. If she says ljbf tell her its all or nothing. Either we are together or we cannot talk anymore. But you gotta stop sayin stupid sh1t like Ill be that man for you before you can reach that point. Fvck that. I know ive had girls that have broken up with me and they all say i need this and that. I then say so stop talking to me. They say i dont want that. Then i say its all or nothing so decide right now otherwise it was nice knowing you. grow some tough skin and ballz.