"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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should I stay or should I go?

brut3r

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I hesitate to write this, but I would give me a great measure of peace to have an answer. I'm new to this site so bear with me a little. The short of the story is that last year I fvcked up. I apparently had a good chance with this girl and screwed up. This changed me in a profound way. I then settled to work on my life. I'm still in college, so I spent the summer at college taking classes, got a job and focused a bit more on weight training. I accomplished a lot. Beginning of the school year, the girl I fvcked up on took me out for my birthday, and we started to hang out. doing our thing which was working out. I took it with a grain of salt, yeah in retrospect it probably wasn't good of me to do, but that's done. I was also seeing, or trying to see and hang out with other girls of which I have had little success. I bumped into her(the one I fvcked up on) recently and she invited me to do a class with her. It's a MMA conditioning class. I was wondering if I should. My inclination is to say no, and move on and do other things with my life, but I would like to get opinions here specifically from more experienced members.

Is there anything to gain from doing this class with her? should I proceed with my instinct and not go. One more thing, she has a boyfriend.

One more thing, just answer the question. It's just one of those things where it would be nice to have someone else who is more experienced weigh in. I know it's probably stupid in most peoples eyes, but I need this. There's more to it, but that is essentially the cliff notes of the recent events

thank you
Regards,
Brut3r
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Konada

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What did you guys do when hanging out? Did you physically escalate or was it just the talk where you become the emotional tampon?

Judging from your post, you're probably friendzoned at this stage (given how long you've known her.) I've been in your situation fairly recently and its best to move on from a girl that probably isn't attracted to you.

More often than not, what your gut is telling you is probably the best way for you right now. Its been documented here that many people have avoided a ****load of trouble and misery, just by trusting their gut.

That's not saying you shouldn't do MMA, but you should do it for the right reasons. (Learning self-defense, fitness etc.) One of them not being hanging out with this chick.
 

Night-hawk

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Man, at some point you gotta ask yourself:

Can I keep company with AND enjoy this girl sometimes like two human beings without ****ing needing anything from her? Or do I just need to feel a girl is attracted to me and wants to jump on me so I can feel like a man again?

I assume your answer is no.

Don't hang out with girls that give you headaches or that you give yourself headaches over...fixing your mindset and knowing game is a lot better than carrying around tylenol or Ibuprofen all the time.
 

Packers2010

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night hawk said it best.

by the sounds of it. you SHOULD do it. when I read your post. all i saw was the opportunity to do some MMA training.

one mistake in my life i have made is loving my best friend. she was a cool friend and we could just chill. which was fun. i took that for love and now i have no best friend. now i see that the best thing to have done would have been hang out with her and talk to other girls.
 

brut3r

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all good posts. What my concern is keeping myself together if I take this class. She caused me a some trouble when I was dealing with her, when I thought I had a chance, but yeah I guess the question is whether or not I will do this class for myself, or be a mindless drone following her, or doing the class just to see her. Not very good. Thanks for ther posts! I thought no one would answer.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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brut3r

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all good posts. What my concern is keeping myself together if I take this class. She caused me a some trouble when I was dealing with her, when I thought I had a chance, but yeah I guess the question is whether or not I will do this class for myself, or doing the class just to see her. Not very good. Thanks for ther posts! I thought no one would answer.
 

brut3r

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Konada said:
What did you guys do when hanging out? Did you physically escalate or was it just the talk where you become the emotional tampon?

Judging from your post, you're probably friendzoned at this stage (given how long you've known her.) I've been in your situation fairly recently and its best to move on from a girl that probably isn't attracted to you.

More often than not, what your gut is telling you is probably the best way for you right now. Its been documented here that many people have avoided a ****load of trouble and misery, just by trusting their gut.

That's not saying you shouldn't do MMA, but you should do it for the right reasons. (Learning self-defense, fitness etc.) One of them not being hanging out with this chick.
@ Konada: a little bit of both actually. there was some physical touching. We would work out together, go out and eat sometimes, and study. I would try to cheer her up when she was not feeling good. I could tell she was interested in some way back then. The problem was that she did and still does have a boyfriend. I am admittedly inexperienced so what I did was try to some extent flirt more, and hang out with her more, I tried to give her signs and signals indicating I was interested, but she never broke up with her boyfriend, so I told her how I felt, and here I am.
 
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