Should I start to call her just to talk?

[oztradamus]

Now have known this girl for about 3 months, but just recently started to like her. So i asked her out about a week ago and we went out and had a good time and she said that she would like to go ona second date.

Now this girl is one of the shy types so as soon as she found out that I was interested, she started to act differently around me. She would kinda ignore me in public but act normal when we are alone. And since we go to the same university and have the same circle of friends we see each other in public almost everyday so we havent spooken to each other much lately.

She has already told one of my friends that she is interested in me so I think she just doesnt want people to know what is going on with us. Now my question is since it seems like she will only open up to me when we are not around others and since I dont think she is confortable with me coming over yet(it took her a while for her to tell me where she lived) should I start to call her so we can actually have conversations and get her more confortable with me, cause till now I have only called her to make dates and stuff. Please help.

 

[Life-Trainee]

Some people are just uncomfortable displaying thier feelings and emotions in public. My friend's long time girlfriend is like that. You should just probably give her more time and she will open up. It takes time to earn trust of shy people especially when you venture into "uncharted" territories with them.

 

[fezz]

ya, i hate it when girls act all weird around you in public. It can mean three things

1. shes embarrassed to be seen with you

2. she likes you, but doesnt want to be portrayed as a slut, so doesnt flirt or touch in public.

3. she is shy and feels uncomfortable at first, but will open up with time

 

[fezz]

oh yeah, and about the phone calling, I would recommend to keep it like you have been doing it. Just call to primarily set up dates. Bring her over to your house to watch movies or somethin like that. you can be more comfortable with each other then, since you can touch each other and stuff like that without being in public. I wouldnt recommend getting to know her over the phone though. You might go into the friends zone

 

[WatchMeWalk]

NO!!
NEVER!

It's just as bad as keeping her on an IM buddy list.

Leave that **** for her neurotic girlfriends and AFC cronies.

 

[oztradamus]

It seems the the majority of people hear advise against calling to talk, but I dont live on campus and live 25 miles away so she wont be comming to my place. And since she is still kinda distant when we are in public, we dont talk as much. So what should I do if I shouldnt call her? and also How long should I wait before I become more aggressive? I know its only been a week but it seems like this is taking for ever. I can really use some help.

 

[ShizamDaMan]

The bottom line is that everyone's suggestion is open to interpretation. If you won't get to contact her anyother way then calling her isn't going to hurt things. If you don't see her much then it's better than nothing. Make sure to keep the conversation light and fun, also make sure it doesn't run too long.

I usually just keep the phone for making dates, since most of the girls I know I see a lot during the week.

 

[Pap]

I agree with fezz's advice here. He's spot on with how she's feeling about you as being one of the 3 options. If you see her regularly, just convey a lot of fun when you hangout.

The phone can be a useful tool other than setting up dates, if you are good story-teller and can convey a good sense of humor/fun/value over the phone, but I prefer to use it primarily to setup meets.

 

[oztradamus]

well right now I think i might have to call her because this coming week is finals week and since everybody will be busy with finals, I will most likely not see her this week. And next week is spring break, she will be going back home and I will be going out of town for most of the break. So if I wait until we get back to school than I wont get a chance to speak to her for 2 weeks. I think that is a long time without any contact because I dont want her to think that I am not interested. So should I call her before I leave if I dont see her this week, or should I wait until I come back from my trip before calling, or should I not call at all and wait until school starts again. This if tough, any suggestions?

 

[oztradamus]

Well its tuesday night and I havent seen her yet and it looks like I will not see her for the rest of the week. I think I should wait until i leave for vacation and call her and have a very short convo so she knows that I am still interested. But im still undecided. Any suggestions would be a big help.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Why are you so hesitant to call? You know she likes you and she gave you her number for a reason, no? Call her and see how her finals are coming along. Ask her what she is doing after finals and plan to have a celabratory feast together. Just don't talk too long and keep the topics of convo on the light side.

Shy girls liked to be reassured that the man is still interested. Just don't call everyday.

 

[bp1974]

You are worrying far too much. Remember, it's not just about making sure she still knows you're interested, it's also about finding out how interested she is.

PRL is right. Call her up, make a comment about how you've not had much quality time recently and you'd like to meet with her before the holidays.

If she is definitely interested, and isn't a flaky girl, she will say yes and make time in her schedule to see you. No-one in the world is so busy that they can't find half an hour when they really want to. Bill Clinton managed it.

If she doesn't say yes, then she is letting you know that she is either not very interested, or interested but flaky.

Either way, you win.

Take the initiative to find out if she is worth your time, rather than worrying so much about letting her know you like her.

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by PuertoRican_Lover
Why are you so hesitant to call? You know she likes you and she gave you her number for a reason, no? Call her and see how her finals are coming along. Ask her what she is doing after finals and plan to have a celabratory feast together. Just don't talk too long and keep the topics of convo on the light side.

Shy girls liked to be reassured that the man is still interested. Just don't call everyday.

Another vote for PRL's advice. I'm seeing this a lot...girls want to talk on the phone. I'm not suggesting you sit there on the phone for hours talking in "I Love You" voices...just chat a little bit. Find out what's going on in her life, then try to set up an encounter.

First date calls and girls you don't know too well...you probably wanna keep them short. Make the plans, then get off. Keep her wondering about you. But as you get to know each other better and have more to talk about, you may want to take the time to chat.

Good rule of thumb (and that's ALL this is...it's flexible) is keep it around 20 minutes max. Then "have something to do."

And if you find that you've both run out of things to say and she starts sighing or doing that other goofy "just to hear your voice" stuff, that's also the time to "have something to do."

 

[oztradamus]

these are all good suggestions, I think PRL made the most sence though. I think i am just too anxious. Any more suggestions would be appreciated.

 

[Pimpology101]

Im no master DJ but I know this tip helped me. Only call her, text her, Instant Message even if you are planning on asking her to meet in person. Talkin on the phone is a waste of time if its anything after 10 minutes. Trust me on this one. You'd rather get to know her or talk about the relationship in person than on the phone. Am I right masters? Actually I know I am, do it man.

 

[oztradamus]

Update

Well its I am now in the middle of my spring break. I have just come back from my vacation in ATL. I left right after finals ended on friday night. I did not get a chance to see or speak to her all last week. So she might have been wondering why I hadnt called her. So I called her on Sunday night from atlanta, but I got her machine and left a message. It is now wenesday and she still has not called me back. Is she just testing me to se how interested I am or is she not interested anymore. Please help

 

[Lola]

she sounds really shy. You should try calling again but if she doesnt answer dont leave a message so that you can try again without looking like youre stalking her. You know? Shes probably really nervous to talk to you. Ive been that way before!

 

[ToP DoN]

LOLA

are u fat and ugly...it would explain why you were shy and quiet earlier in your life....

 

[ToP DoN]

LOLA

are u fat and ugly...it would explain why you were shy and quiet earlier in your life....if you need ****...just let me know...i can offer my dog

 

[Lola]

no im blonde, thin, tall and too good for you But that doesnt really matter.

youre offering your dog now? You offered yourself to me in your pm. interesting LMAO