should i respond?

[drift king]

2 Saturdays ago i texted the lawyer lady i mentioned in my other threads (i dont have any options right now and i had a moment of weakness sending it)

me: the weather is getting warmer you can wear them for me soon.. we should cook dinner together sometime in the next few days. what you up to tonight? im just heading out to the bars nearby

(no response till today over week and 2 days AFTER i sent the text)

her: hey, im so sorry just covering all the emails and messages ive been sitting on, really bad: i've had so much on my plate that i dont want to think about it and just do it. been up to my eyes, and was only briefly meeting friends passing by as I have to do the sociable. Lucky you were in the bars nearby, hope it was good. I was brought to a place other side of town, as a friend was over from europe, so not my place or location, had to leave straight after. this week is mental for me, the evenings are full of seminars and events on top of my cry for time!!! hopefullt better by w/e and if you're about, would be lovely to have a coffee/hot chocolate?!


yes her text was THAT long! like 4 texts, massive email. wtf.

she clearly doesn't have any interest and is just using me as an orbiter..

im at a point whereby im not doing any chasing at all, i was gona basically say 'no sorry i cant, im gona be kinda busy this weekend.' in a couple days time.

she didn't acknowledge cookign dinner together, not anything which i've said.. im not going to be her orbiter.. if she is going to want to see me she's going to need to up the ante and do what i want (dress sexy for me and invite me over) i refuse to meet her in public now, only at her place.

should i just ignore the message or politely decline as the text above? i still want to hit that.. but i dont think it's going to happen. it might be better to make her chase.

 

[Cremasta]

I haven't read your other threads about this girl, so fair call if I'm missing something important...

Ok, you could stick to your guns, but, how many lawyers do you know?

I don't know many myself, but every single one of them is lucky to get away with a 50-60 hour week. She IS an alpha female, and she IS going to be more busy than most people on the 9-5 jobs could understand. Playing hardball with a girl like her has a 50/50 chance of backfiring.

Personally, I'd come back with "Ok, you know where to find me when you've got some free time." Then not give her another thought, get on with filling up my own days with things to do and if she happens to catch me when I'm free, then great.

 

[The Duke]

I'd still try and meet up with her, but make sure its not an inconvenience to you and you won't be out anything if this deal doesn't go anywhere.

Female lawyers don't make the best material for dating.

 

[drift king]

i feel i am at a stalemate with her.. she knows what i want and is tryna turn me into an orbiter/friendzone.. i refuse to be that so i will not play her game.

the only solution if she wants my attention is to invite me over to her place.. that's it.

im not sure if not replying will have my desired effect nor will 'no sorry i cant, i think im gona be kinda busy this weekend'

and leave it.. i know i must not do any chasing.. if she senses she's losing me she should up the ante IF she has any interest.

i just dont want to sound butthurt.. just not that interested anymore. would the text above have the desired effect?

 

[Hydrak]

Decline the invitation and get a date on your terms. Coffee-dates are terrible and just like you said she wants to use you as an orbiter (attention) where you'll be just like a gay-friend who she comes and has coffee with once in a while to cool off after having a tough day at court.

Call her in a few days and tell her you want to meet up with her, tell her to come with you to x location/day/time, and tell her that if she's gonna flake then theres no point in continuing to pursue her. Let her know that your time is valueable. You're giving her two options here:
1. Meet you
2. F*ck off

If she chooses number 2 then delete her number/NC and proceed to look for other girls.

 

[drift king]

no i wont hit her up if i decline her invitation. im not chasing anymore, i've done enough.

i just dont know what i need to say to convey im not as interested anymore or that her coffee idea is boring.

maybe 'no i cant, im gona be busy this weekend, besides that doesn't sound like fun or something i want to do..'

i think that might be too much?

a variation would be better conveying she needs to up the ante. maybe i'll just take baby steps and decline the invitation and leave it at that.

 

[Dali_tx_o]

I think this is a step way too much of over-analyzing.

Do you have a free afternoon/evening? Do you enjoy coffee? Do you enjoy meeting new people?

As others mentioned, If you'd be sitting at home doing nothing, then go and meet up for a coffee, if you feel like it. If you don't, you don't. Don Juan does not need to analyze every single step when an opportunity comes, he just takes the opportunity before it passes.

I've had a girl ignore me, only to shoot me a message month later, saying she was abroad all the time, and didn't have time to write me back. She offered to meet up for a quick cup of coffee and to catch up. I had a free afternoon that day and felt like doing something, so agreed to proposal with one condition - I texted her a riddle that would hint to the location and time where I will be to meet up with her (some random cafe). She took up the challenge and met me at the place all out of breath since she went to wrong place at first and barely made it on time. Said it took her an hour to figure it out (riddle involved a little rhymed story; First letters of every line added up to an area postcode, the words hinted a monument in front of which cafe was located). We sat down, talked a bit, had some coffee, and then she invited me over to her place afterwards for sex.

Ya want to meet her, make her invest her time for it. If she only wants you as an "orbiter", or if she is too stuck up, she will not bother.

 

[HalfPUAHalfAFC]

i feel i am at a stalemate with her.. she knows what i want and is tryna turn me into an orbiter/friendzone.. i refuse to be that so i will not play her game.]


Or, she could be just testing your mettle.

Can't say from experience.

My two cents: If she was a sorority type of chick (young, dumb, full of cvm), next that sh!t immediately. If she was older and an busy lawyer and has some experience under her belt, she's probably used to needy AFCs in her life and just doesn't jump at just any guy's interest. Answer like Cemasta said (or something like it) and she'll get in touch when/if she wants. Otherwise/afterward, you don't give it another thought and just keep moving on and game other women.

 

[buzzin_frog]

(no response till today over week and 2 days AFTER i sent the text)

her: hey, im so sorry just covering all the emails and messages ive been sitting on, really bad: i've had so much on my plate that i dont want to think about it and just do it. been up to my eyes, and was only briefly meeting friends passing by as I have to do the sociable. Lucky you were in the bars nearby, hope it was good. I was brought to a place other side of town, as a friend was over from europe, so not my place or location, had to leave straight after. this week is mental for me, the evenings are full of seminars and events on top of my cry for time!!! hopefullt better by w/e and if you're about, would be lovely to have a coffee/hot chocolate?!

You're wasting your time with her!! Look how long she put you off until the last minute.... then she defends herself to WHY she couldn't get back to you. You hear all the excuses to why she couldn't answer for you.

She made the time for the people (especially guys) that she wanted to

She ignored you and put you off until she got around to it..

what does that tell you?

Don't go after a chick who puts you off and has little to no intestest in you.

your goal is to eventually bang her...right?

she has shown you she has no interest at all for that.

decline her offer because you will just be strung along with false hopes.

go out and meet some new women!

all you need is some good confidence to up your game!!

You can do it!!

 

[drift king]

i'm a lawyer and i work sometimes 60 or even 70 hour weeks but that doesn't prevent me from doing things i really want to do, ie banging women, calling up friends i want to talk to, posting random stuff on sosuave.

Even-non lawyer women will try to pass off this kind of BS as them being busy.

It's BS. No human being on earth is this busy. Especially lawyers, who often have to check their messages every few hours to make sure they didn't receive a very important email/message.

I can guarantee you this woman saw your message within mere moments of you sending it to her. You're just not a priority, and she's not that interested. After she did all the important things she needs to do, she got back to you to keep you orbiting her solar system of attention.

Feel free to keep wasting your time on this one, but do so at your own peril. Understand that you will in all probability get nothing, or if you do, it could take months. Either way, you will never be happy in a relationship with someone like this who pretends to be so busy she can't even return a simple txt message, which takes all of six seconds.

this is exactly what i was thinking!

i dont want to get into a relationship with her she's gona be a pain in the a$$ also wayyyyy too attached to her dog.. i can imagine trying to escalate and her dog runs over and she completely shifts the attention from the dog to me.

my thinking is i either a)ignore the message and dont reply or send something like 'no im going to be busy this weekend' though that sounds bvtthurt so not sure what i should send instead?

 

[drift king]

You're wasting your time with her!! Look how long she put you off until the last minute.... then she defends herself to WHY she couldn't get back to you. You hear all the excuses to why she couldn't answer for you.

She made the time for the people (especially guys) that she wanted to

She ignored you and put you off until she got around to it..

what does that tell you?

Don't go after a chick who puts you off and has little to no intestest in you.

your goal is to eventually bang her...right?

she has shown you she has no interest at all for that.

decline her offer because you will just be strung along with false hopes.

go out and meet some new women!

all you need is some good confidence to up your game!!

You can do it!!

when i decline her offer if i say 'no im going to be busy this weekend' won't that sound bvtthurt?

i need something to send which declines her invitation but doesn't show annoyance or anger or butthurt.. indifferent.

 

[drift king]

i should mention i've already met her twice before and she wouldn't let me kiss close on the 2nd date.. she was treating me like an orbiter.. when i said to her at the end 'so when you goign to dress up for me then?' she moves away and jokingly says' no no' with a big smile on her face basically thinking this is some big game.. i walked away in disgust (she was like 'oh look at your reaction' to that effect then proceeds to text me thanking me for the hot chocolate with a kiss at the end of the text.. i ignored it completely and actually nexted her until i sent the text in my first post on here over a week and a half later)

i actually lost interest cos she wasted my time, then i got desperate wanting to bang her.

i think maybe just not responding is the best course of action.

 

[casaanova]

"Drinks at my place tonight at 8"
Nice and simple. If she doesn't reply/declines and suggests you two go elsewhere, you have your answer

' sorry i cant, i think im gona be kinda busy this weekend'

Waste of a text. You'd be better off not saying anything back at all

 

[3countriesPlan]

Its either 3 holes (freaky style) bro or 3 middle fingers --- one from her, one from the dude she is fukking -- and one from the white knight f@gg0t standing there laughing at you.

If she isnt really coming at you correct you need to just find one that does.

 

[drift king]

"Drinks at my place tonight at 8"
Nice and simple. If she doesn't reply/declines and suggests you two go elsewhere, you have your answer


Waste of a text. You'd be better off not saying anything back at all

yeah i wont send anything then. i was just going to decline it as advised but there's no point.

likewise there's no point suggesting drinks at her place.. she's not interested.. she's trying to turn me into an orbiter and im not taking the bait.. nor letting her knw i'm still interested.

i think silence will be more powerful than anything i can say in a text.

 

[drift king]

Why would you not respond to this? Long texts are actually a good thing. Why would she waste your time or hers texting such a message only to be an "orbiter"?

I would text back: "Coffee sounds great. Just let me know what day and time works for you." Then just let her respond.

you have to remeber i went for a drink on the 1st date.. then hot choc for the second.. she wouldn't let me kiss close on 2nd date.. she just yaps on and on.. making me feel like an orbiter or friendzoned.. i try escalating she doesn't let me and carries on yapping listening to her BS.

this is the 3rd meeting and she didn't acknowledge anything i said in my text about wearing somethign sexy forme or making dinner together.. just goes on and on about her BS.. in her mind she's tryna make me her orbiter and friendzoning me.. trying to control the frame.. im not playing this BS game with her.. i'll just walk away.. she's wasting my time.

if i take the bait of her long message then she'll know she's won and i'll come running.. im not going for another hot choc coffee meet with her.. that's friendzone BS esp on a 3rd meeting.

you have to loook at it in context about her suggestions to meet.. it's all BS.

i know my answer now, send nothing back.. if she's still interested she might contact me next week.. but she needs to up the ante.