should i respond?

[drift king]

i had a 1st date with this HB a couple weeks ago then i sent her this text about some 3 part event i had planned that excited her but i specifically told her to give me a time/day even with an example of 'no i'll let you know or maybe tuesday' answers..

b1tch didn't listen and can't seem to follow instructions and comes back with that she's going abroad but hopes to see me when she's back cos it sounded very interesting what i got planned.

i decided to jokingly give her a hard time about it so replied back that she's losing points with me cos i asked for a specific time and day and she didn't give it nor told me when she's back and i'd expected an offer of a time when she was back.

she still doesn't give me a time and says 'i'm back in a week but if i still have a chance would like to fulfill our mission'

she purposely isn't giving me a time forcing me to put ball back in my court so i say ok next wednesday 7pm (i.e. tomorrow i sent this over a week ago) i get a text from her this morning which i thought should be good cos at least she remembered..

but surprise surprise she cancelled, with 'hey, listen i'm still away and not back till 9pm tomorrow and then i think i will be away again on thursday.'

my 1st reaction was wtf?? not even a counter offer nor a statement of intent for when we're suppose to meet again.. should i reply?

i feel that given my back and forth with her she keeps trying to force the ball in my court to make a time, she flaked and could be lying.. it's like she knew she was doing something bad so let me know in advance and her message just translates like:

i'm away still (i'm actually back but don't want u to know) but i won't be back till after the time we were suppose to originally meet and i'm leaving again the next day (so u can't come back with what about thursday instead) and i haven't mentioned another time or even an intent of seeing u again.

does it send a much more powerful message to her if i just dont reply at all?

i expect her to think i'll come back with 'so when u back?' but i'm at odds what would be best to do..

i think i have to give her a hard time again playfully like before but do it after like a week or so to see if she gets back to me 1st due to my non response?

if she doesn't i was thinking like 'so you back now? it's your responsibility to counter offer with another day/time if you're cancelling (even if u are away.. )'

 

[Cashew]

By your story... you never initially offered a time/day for this event of yours. Why would you start by asking her when she is available? Be a man about it and say something like "You are going to meet me at 7pm this Thursday at ____." Why would you want to give up control of this to your date? Take command like you should have from the start and put her in your world.

In the meantime... take another girl out a time or two. She's away (or at least wants you to believe she is) so you don't need to respond. If you don't hear back from her, then she's gone. If you do hear back from her in a few days, be decisive and pick a time.

 

[The Sperminator]

Do not text her if shes interested she will text you.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Disappear for a bit. If she's interested or an AW, or both..lol, she'll contact you again in the near future.

Your clinging to her a bit too much too soon. You mentioned you ad a first date with her, but you didn't say anything about how it went. Usually after a first date a guy thinks it went a lot better than it did if he's running into problems like this so soon.

Bottom line if she's interested she'll make it easy to hang out with her. This doesn't look good, so pull away now and don't expect anything out of it.

DO NOT INITIATE CONTACT AT THIS POINT ANYMORE.


PIMP

 

[drift king]

damn i was waiting for a reply to this thread for 6 hours and had none so i went ahead and sent a 'if you're cancelling it's your responsibility to counter offer with another time.. (even if it's scheduled one week in advance) i've done my bit'

how will this appear to her?

she doesn't follow instructions 3 occasions i told her to give me a time cos when i initially offered a time at the beginning she wouldn't commit so i thought i'd spin it so that she tells me a time and i'll let her know if im free cos i know what she's like she never commits to a time.

i should have just left it, you're right. the thing is i don't know when she's back so she should be the one to tell me a time!

i should flake on her last minute shouldn't i if she does come back to me with a time?

she did it to me so i should do it to her, if she has no respect for my time i shouldn't have respect for hers.

 

[Vlad the Impaler]

damn i was waiting for a reply to this thread for 6 hours and had none so i went ahead and sent a 'if you're cancelling it's your responsibility to counter offer with another time.. (even if it's scheduled one week in advance) i've done my bit'

how will this appear to her?

she doesn't follow instructions 3 occasions i told her to give me a time cos when i initially offered a time at the beginning she wouldn't commit so i thought i'd spin it so that she tells me a time and i'll let her know if im free cos i know what she's like she never commits to a time.

i should have just left it, you're right. the thing is i don't know when she's back so she should be the one to tell me a time!

i should flake on her last minute shouldn't i if she does come back to me with a time?

she did it to me so i should do it to her, if she has no respect for my time i shouldn't have respect for hers.

Step away from the phone. Stop texting. Texting is for girls. Are you a girl?

 

[drift king]

unfortunately my phone game is really really bad and i'm better off making arrangements via text so at least i can think what i want to say rather than be put on the spot. if i feel nervous it doesn't come through in writing but it does if i'm on the phone.

so until i'm in a better position i'm better off texting. besides here in the uk it doesn't make much difference whether you phone or text.. society and culture is less judgemental. i.e. just cos u text to make arrangements doesn't make u an afc in girls eyes. some prefer u to text (due to them being cheap and not wanting to phone you back)

but that's the besides the point, i see now i should have not replied at all and i shouldn't need to tell her it's her responsibility to make arrangements with me if she's cancelling but it's like you're dealing with little children sometimes with these girls....

 

[drift king]

Disappear for a bit. If she's interested or an AW, or both..lol, she'll contact you again in the near future.

Your clinging to her a bit too much too soon. You mentioned you ad a first date with her, but you didn't say anything about how it went. Usually after a first date a guy thinks it went a lot better than it did if he's running into problems like this so soon.

Bottom line if she's interested she'll make it easy to hang out with her. This doesn't look good, so pull away now and don't expect anything out of it.

DO NOT INITIATE CONTACT AT THIS POINT ANYMORE.


PIMP

what frustrates me is how long these things seem to happen.. it's like you have 1 meeting a month with these chicks.. (if u maybe mess up in some way) all in the meantime she could be out with other guys etc etc.. why wouldn't she just forget about you even if she had some interest?

 

[Vlad the Impaler]

unfortunately my phone game is really really bad and i'm better off making arrangements via text

Then get used to getting nowhere. Like you are right now.

Do you like being nowhere? Ofcourse not. So fix your phone game and stop texting.

 

[drift king]

i did and it got me nowhere either..

talking or texting makes absolutely no difference here in the uk. i don't see why just making arrangements by text is any worse than talking on the phone.

that's beside the point anyway. should i just leave it now with this 1 and see if she gets back to me.

cos i know what she's like, if i call she'll give me an answer of 'maybe tuesday' she does it to everyone.. i'm better off texting her in 2 weeks saying 'so where's my offer of a time and day for this 3 part surprise? otherwise i'll have to take some other pretty girl instead.'

the thing is when u make these suggestions they usually just call your bluff and say 'ok take someone else instead' u think it's suppose to instill jealousy but it doesn't.. always backfires.

 

[Vlad the Impaler]

that's beside the point anyway. should i just leave it now with this 1 and see if she gets back to me.

Ofcourse you should "just leave it" with this one. My god dude you are acting like a wussy AFC and she knows it.

 

[get1]

I had a funny realization with a girl I was seeing. I knew she liked me much more than i liked her...so I thought I'd try something out. I decided i wouldn't contact her after a catch up, I said "get in touch soon. we'll do something fun." I was sure because of her interest that she would be in touch in what? 2, 3 days. Wrong. 7 days? wrong. 10 days? Right. I heard from her 10 days later. a girl who had 10/10 attraction to me. I thought about this for a while and couldn't work it out. 10 days to the AFC who is attracted to a girl who says " call me we'll hang out " is a lifetime but she didn't get in touch for 10 days. I couldn't work it out so I asked her. She' said because "I knew you would call" "I though guys always did, but you're different.." After that with no effort since then. I can sleep at hers whenever i want. 18 months later..don't be an afc and let them come to you. If there is attraction is there, they always will!