Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Should I reach out to her?

TheNewStyle123

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 10, 2020
Messages
220
Reaction score
143
What's up guys.

The first plate I ever spun after my separation occurred about 2 months ago. This Brazilian girl I matched with on Bumble agreed to come hang out at my place after the first day we started talking. She came over, we had dinner and fuucked. We continued to hang out maybe 3-4 more times after that. She had always been super affectionate in person, would often text me asking about my day, would be super flirty, etc.

2 weeks ago I hit her up to try to hang out but she was busy working (she is an incredibly hard worker; working door dash like 10-14 hours/day to pay rent, going to school for nursing, and volunteering at a hospital to continue to learn English). She was unable to hangout due to her schedule. A week later I tried to hit her up again, but she said she was upset because she was no longer able to do door dash, and "wouldn't be much fun to be around right now." I respect that - if that truly is the case.

It has now been about 2 weeks since that event and I have not reached out, nor has she tried to contact me. What would you guys do? Not trying to date her, but really enjoy her company and fuucking. Does it seem like she is trying to make excuses/ghost? Wondering if it is a beta move or even worth it to try to hit her up one more time.

Thanks boys.
 
Joined
Feb 3, 2021
Messages
101
Reaction score
155
Age
35
Location
Bend, OR
What's up guys.

The first plate I ever spun after my separation occurred about 2 months ago. This Brazilian girl I matched with on Bumble agreed to come hang out at my place after the first day we started talking. She came over, we had dinner and fuucked. We continued to hang out maybe 3-4 more times after that. She had always been super affectionate in person, would often text me asking about my day, would be super flirty, etc.

2 weeks ago I hit her up to try to hang out but she was busy working (she is an incredibly hard worker; working door dash like 10-14 hours/day to pay rent, going to school for nursing, and volunteering at a hospital to continue to learn English). She was unable to hangout due to her schedule. A week later I tried to hit her up again, but she said she was upset because she was no longer able to do door dash, and "wouldn't be much fun to be around right now." I respect that - if that truly is the case.

It has now been about 2 weeks since that event and I have not reached out, nor has she tried to contact me. What would you guys do? Not trying to date her, but really enjoy her company and fuucking. Does it seem like she is trying to make excuses/ghost? Wondering if it is a beta move or even worth it to try to hit her up one more time.

Thanks boys.
We get it, she was probably a babe and great in bed. Not to stereotype, but Brazilians are usually babes with great vibes and attitudes. So we don't blame you for wanting to pursue. However, do not.

If a woman is truly interested in you and spending time with you, believe us she will make the time. No one on this Earth is as busy as not having 5 mins to text. Every single girl has their phone with them at ALL TIMES. She hasn't even reached out after you tried twice. That is a given. She is talking to another guy (or guys most likely), and now is his turn. Let it be. Not saying she is a s**t because there is no such thing, women are allowed to be promiscuous just as men are. Judging them will only force them to keep lying to the society they are angels. They are not.

What you need our friend is to move on and break contact. Let her miss you (if she even does). If you continue asking her out, you are effectively not creating space for her to miss your presence. Furthermore, what this shows is that she is your only source of intimacy and companionship. You need to create competition anxiety by dating as many women as possible. We're not saying sleep with all of them, not unless you want to but you need more options. And there is nothing more appealing AND dangerous to a woman than a man that knows his value and has options in life. Remember that.


Cheers brother,

Modern Man Advice
 

TheNewStyle123

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 10, 2020
Messages
220
Reaction score
143
We get it, she was probably a babe and great in bed. Not to stereotype, but Brazilians are usually babes with great vibes and attitudes. So we don't blame you for wanting to pursue. However, do not.

If a woman is truly interested in you and spending time with you, believe us she will make the time. No one on this Earth is as busy as not having 5 mins to text. Every single girl has their phone with them at ALL TIMES. She hasn't even reached out after you tried twice. That is a given. She is talking to another guy (or guys most likely), and now is his turn. Let it be. Not saying she is a s**t because there is no such thing, women are allowed to be promiscuous just as men are. Judging them will only force them to keep lying to the society they are angels. They are not.

What you need our friend is to move on and break contact. Let her miss you (if she even does). If you continue asking her out, you are effectively not creating space for her to miss your presence. Furthermore, what this shows is that she is your only source of intimacy and companionship. You need to create competition anxiety by dating as many women as possible. We're not saying sleep with all of them, not unless you want to but you need more options. And there is nothing more appealing AND dangerous to a woman than a man that knows his value and has options in life. Remember that.


Cheers brother,

Modern Man Advice
Love it man, thank you! On to the next.
 

image

"If you love women, you must read the SoSuave Guide to Women. It's fantastic!"

Lookatu

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 26, 2017
Messages
2,345
Reaction score
2,841
Age
48
It has now been about 2 weeks since that event and I have not reached out, nor has she tried to contact me. What would you guys do? Not trying to date her, but really enjoy her company and fuucking. Does it seem like she is trying to make excuses/ghost? Wondering if it is a beta move or even worth it to try to hit her up one more time.
As others have said, it's time to move on. Next time assume they aren't interested if it goes that long, and move on with an abundance mindset instead of wondering with a scarcity mindset.

I always say fvck them like it will be your last time because it can be. That way you know you did everything you wanted with her and have a sense of peace moving on.
 

TheNewStyle123

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 10, 2020
Messages
220
Reaction score
143
As others have said, it's time to move on. Next time assume they aren't interested if it goes that long, and move on with an abundance mindset instead of wondering with a scarcity mindset.

I always say fvck them like it will be your last time because it can be. That way you know you did everything you wanted with her and have a sense of peace moving on.
hahaha love that man - thank you!
 

derby1

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 10, 2017
Messages
1,760
Reaction score
1,521
Age
38
Not saying she is a s**t because there is no such thing, women are allowed to be promiscuous just as men are.
I disagree, it emotionally erodes them, its their only negotiating tool, and hence should be a bit of a prize,

and we are the fcker they are the fckee
 
Joined
Feb 3, 2021
Messages
101
Reaction score
155
Age
35
Location
Bend, OR
I disagree, it emotionally erodes them, its their only negotiating tool, and hence should be a bit of a prize,

and we are the fcker they are the fckee
Then you suffer from a false sense of superiority mate. Check yourself.

Modern Man Advice
 

King Lion

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 18, 2020
Messages
157
Reaction score
144
Age
50
It's better to know - than to not know.

Sounds like you are suffering paralysis from analysis...

If you wanna know what's up with her - CALL HER
 

GT40

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 29, 2016
Messages
287
Reaction score
171
Age
48
Location
Canada
She’s got your number. If you keep hounding her you look desperate. She’ll hook up if she wants. Just leave it
 

derby1

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 10, 2017
Messages
1,760
Reaction score
1,521
Age
38
Then you suffer from a false sense of superiority mate.
so its okay for me to be a broke ass bum and a woman of quality should be attracted to me then.

that would be interesting to see, its the equivalent of a slut
 

Robert28

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 27, 2008
Messages
3,055
Reaction score
2,528
so its okay for me to be a broke ass bum and a woman of quality should be attracted to me then.

that would be interesting to see, its the equivalent of a slut
Many a quality women are head over heels with broke ass bums. See it everyday. Don’t understand it but I see it.
 

samspade

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 5, 2008
Messages
7,316
Reaction score
4,198
Age
45
Location
Colorado Panhandle
I'll go against the grain and say send a quick message to say hi and check in if you want. As I always say, if you're approaching from a place of high value then you don't have to worry about being anyone's chump. A message is almost zero investment. If she doesn't respond or her response is lame, fine, have a nice day.

If she's an immigrant from Brazil, she probably truly is busting her a$$ and now worried about money and other things (as opposed to your typical American white girl crisis of losing her WiFi for the day, lol). Brazilians are also about 50% nicer with 50% fewer games, on average.

I think the "just next her" and "if she wants to be with you, she will." routines can be helpful, but it's all situational. People have more going on in their lives and it's not always about you. Of course, she might just not want to hang out, or is banging some other guy now, and that's cool, too.

And OP, one thing I've learned as I've gone along, it gets easier and easier to just message a girl whenever I feel like it, end of story. Once you truly stop caring about her reaction or lack thereof, just do you. I stopped worrying about whether something was a "beta move" because, if I'm doing it, it ain't. (Caveat: I have absorbed volumes of tips and advice here, and lessons through trial and error.)
 

TheNewStyle123

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 10, 2020
Messages
220
Reaction score
143
I'll go against the grain and say send a quick message to say hi and check in if you want. As I always say, if you're approaching from a place of high value then you don't have to worry about being anyone's chump. A message is almost zero investment. If she doesn't respond or her response is lame, fine, have a nice day.

If she's an immigrant from Brazil, she probably truly is busting her a$$ and now worried about money and other things (as opposed to your typical American white girl crisis of losing her WiFi for the day, lol). Brazilians are also about 50% nicer with 50% fewer games, on average.

I think the "just next her" and "if she wants to be with you, she will." routines can be helpful, but it's all situational. People have more going on in their lives and it's not always about you. Of course, she might just not want to hang out, or is banging some other guy now, and that's cool, too.

And OP, one thing I've learned as I've gone along, it gets easier and easier to just message a girl whenever I feel like it, end of story. Once you truly stop caring about her reaction or lack thereof, just do you. I stopped worrying about whether something was a "beta move" because, if I'm doing it, it ain't. (Caveat: I have absorbed volumes of tips and advice here, and lessons through trial and error.)
Great tips man thank you. You're so right too - I need to stop overthinking things and just do it. If it feels natural when/what to text or say to a girl, just do it. Dating and spinning plates should be fun, not a chore.
 

image

Put away your credit card.

You can now read our detailed guide to women and dating for free - Right Here!

Lookatu

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 26, 2017
Messages
2,345
Reaction score
2,841
Age
48
Great tips man thank you. You're so right too - I need to stop overthinking things and just do it. If it feels natural when/what to text or say to a girl, just do it. Dating and spinning plates should be fun, not a chore.
Most definitely. Anytime you come across a stressful situation. You attack it straight on or eject. Those are the two choices.

No sense in getting stressed out and prematurely aging and becoming unhealthy over anyone or anything IMO.

Worrying kills more than the disease...
 

TheNewStyle123

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 10, 2020
Messages
220
Reaction score
143
Most definitely. Anytime you come across a stressful situation. You attack it straight on or eject. Those are the two choices.

No sense in getting stressed out and prematurely aging and becoming unhealthy over anyone or anything IMO.

Worrying kills more than the disease...
Amen to that man!
 

rjc149

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jul 17, 2019
Messages
455
Reaction score
756
Location
NJ/NYC
A week later I tried to hit her up again, but she said she was upset because she was no longer able to do door dash, and "wouldn't be much fun to be around right now."
Hmm someone being emotionally devastated because they lost their pizza delivery gig. Could be legit but smells like bullsh!t.

She's been soft-nexting you for the past few weeks.

I can only assume two things -- you may have been a little too available and needy (Latina women have very macho masculinity standards) and she may have been seeing other men. If she's got a lot going on, she's probably meeting a lot of new men -- that's why busy people are high-value and attractive. Other people are making demands on their time and attention.

That being said, I think you should just leave it. She may ping you sometime in the future, she may not. The only way she will is if you just disappear.
 
Top