"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Should I Pursue Her?

DJ McBuster

Don Juan
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I know this girl at my work. We are sorta becoming friends but she knows I am intrested in her. She is attracted to me and her friends think I am hot too. The problem lies in her former marriage. She has been living with her female friend for the last month and seeing nobody. She has a kid and no car and is not ready to be in a relationship right now. And I don't know if we are right for each other? I like her looks and her personality but she is so shy and uncomfortable around me. But right know I am just trying to be her friend and to gain her trust when she is around me, but she has so much baggage and there is no guarantee that she would be any diffrent from one of my other girlfriends? So what do you guys think, she is a hot babe #9, I like her, but she does have issues and I don't think I could just use her like other woman? And no I'm not putting her on a pedestal and this is not oneitis, it's just meeting a woman you admire beyond a physical level? So please let me know what you think?

DJ McBuster
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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The Bad Ass Canadian

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 15, 2003
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I would definietly avoid getting with a girl from work (especially one who appears to be pretty volatile). If she is as unstable as you say, I'd turn around and walk away. Befriend her and flirt with her but don't cross the line.

If things get sour, it'll make work a rather uncomfortable experience.

If you think you can handle it, though, you can use my motto and say "fvck it"... go for it.

Instead of gently creeping into it, why not give her some excitment and sweep her off her feet? I imagine she just needs a thrill in her life after going through a marriage breakup and all that. Just don't get too involved. Keep it light and fun.
 
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