Should I or Shouldn't I

[mfd1830]

So, I met this really cool girl. We have alot in common and get along great already. I really like her but the problem is that physically she's nothing like the girls I usually go for. I'm only semi-attracted to her but her personality is fantastic. I wanna give it a try and see if it can work out but I'm envisioning problems down the road in terms of sex, etc. I don't wanna hurt her or mislead her but I also don't wanna blow a chance to be with someone really cool just because she's not what I'm used to physically.

Also, the situation is a little complicated because she's my best friend's girlfriend's roomate and we all hang out all the time. Any advice? I've dated pretty attractive girls in the past so this isn't a desperation thing or anything like that.

 

[DonJuan11]

So, I met this really cool girl. We have alot in common and get along great already. I don't wanna hurt her or mislead her but I also don't wanna blow a chance to be with someone really cool just because she's not what I'm used to physically.

I've dated pretty attractive girls in the past so this isn't a desperation thing or anything like that.

Sounds like you want us tell you not to go for her since she's not hot and so you can feel better.

 

[mfd1830]

I'd rather hear the opposite because I already like her a lot, but I'm holding back because of problems I can see developing down the line. I've never tried to be with someone I wasn't attracted to immediately and I'm more interested in hearing from people if they've been in situations where physical attraction did/did-not develop more over time.

 

[trd323]

You are worried about a future that might not happen??If you like her and it sounds like you do, then just go for it. If it does not work out in 2 months, then hopefully it was a great 2 months together and a learning experience.

My last long(2 1/2 years) relationship was with a girl that was not physically "my type" with validation from my mom and sisters. However, I LOVED her and have not loved a girl like that since.

 

[hanson]

i say go for it, i dated a girl i wasn't attracted to when i first met her, but as we kept seeing each other i became more and more attracted so i don't think you'll have a problem.

 

[WC2]

i say go for it, i dated a girl i wasn't attracted to when i first met her, but as we kept seeing each other i became more and more attracted so i don't think you'll have a problem.

Ugh. You fell into a trap.. most likely at least.

I've done it, and I see it with many dudes who don't know what kind of woman they want. They clearly aren't attracted to them when they first start dating them, but then mysteriously become attracted after time.

This isn't you becoming attracted to them gentlemen, this is you becoming attracted to the idea of a relationship. Once you start getting comfortable with a woman, your mind starts tricking you into thinking it's right, no matter how much you never really liked her before.

Believe me, I've done it. I was messing with a girl for months and I really didn't like her that much. I blew her off all the time and she kept coming back for more. Eventually, I fell into a pvssy slump and just ended up settling for her. Went into a relationship and thought I really liked her. I came out looking back not believing I had dated her.

Relationships can do odd things to a man's brain. While you're still single and clear headed, use your best judgment on a woman. No reason to settle for one if there are any hesitations. We are better than that.

 

[trd323]

Ugh. You fell into a trap.. most likely at least.

I've done it, and I see it with many dudes who don't know what kind of woman they want. They clearly aren't attracted to them when they first start dating them, but then mysteriously become attracted after time.

This isn't you becoming attracted to them gentlemen, this is you becoming attracted to the idea of a relationship. Once you start getting comfortable with a woman, your mind starts tricking you into thinking it's right, no matter how much you never really liked her before.

Believe me, I've done it. I was messing with a girl for months and I really didn't like her that much. I blew her off all the time and she kept coming back for more. Eventually, I fell into a pvssy slump and just ended up settling for her. Went into a relationship and thought I really liked her. I came out looking back not believing I had dated her.

Relationships can do odd things to a man's brain. While you're still single and clear headed, use your best judgment on a woman. No reason to settle for one if there are any hesitations. We are better than that.

Really. So the whole notion of falling in love with someone other than looks are false? Because I could swear when people get old their looks fade and your left with hopefully falling in love for someones morals, personality, and common interests and not just looks.

Love is something you have to work for. Imagine having to be with someone for a length of time and not getting other poon. There definately has to be something else there because I get tired of the same poon in 2 weeks.

 

[Ambition Now]

I would try to go for sex, maybe you are not attracted to her on a physical level but having sex with her might be great, who knows?
But try to go for it without any attachament on both sides at the begining, see how it goes and then decide what you want to do.

 

[WC2]

Really. So the whole notion of falling in love with someone other than looks are false? Because I could swear when people get old their looks fade and your left with hopefully falling in love for someones morals, personality, and common interests and not just looks.

Love is something you have to work for. Imagine having to be with someone for a length of time and not getting other poon. There definately has to be something else there because I get tired of the same poon in 2 weeks.

Hey there terd, never said that looks is the only thing that women have going for them. In fact, looks aren't always important to me. Being compatible with someone has nothing to do with looks.

Love is not something that you should have to work at. I've got quite a few relationships under my belt to see that the best ones were the ones in which me and other broad were compatible in the first place.

Men who have experienced many women can determine quickly who they can work with and who is just on their list to next. Within an hour of vibing, they can tell if this woman has the traits that he finds attractive enough to continue the interaction. Does she dig money? Is she a good conversationalist? How forward is she? Does she rely on you to carry the conversation? Does she have a lot of girl friends or does she have guy 'friends'? Does she smile often? Is she confident in herself without having to brag about it? All these traits while traits on the outside, give you all the view you need into how she really is on the inside.

Yes, when you fall in love with a woman and you're deep into a relationship you need to work at it. But if you're 'working at it' early on, then that's a clear sign that she's just not for you. Men who work for relationships early on are usually the ones getting divorced/getting dumped. Take my advice.

 

[mfd1830]

Men who have experienced many women can determine quickly who they can work with and who is just on their list to next. Within an hour of vibing, they can tell if this woman has the traits that he finds attractive enough to continue the interaction. Does she dig money? Is she a good conversationalist? How forward is she? Does she rely on you to carry the conversation? Does she have a lot of girl friends or does she have guy 'friends'? Does she smile often? Is she confident in herself without having to brag about it? All these traits while traits on the outside, give you all the view you need into how she really is on the inside.

That's how it is though, in my case at least. All that stuff was there immediately; moreso than any other girl I've met. I was surprised at how much I liked her in a more than friend kind of way without being that attracted to her physically.

 

[DJ#7436]

There are 3,301,112,087 women in the world. I'm guessing there is one in that pool that has the personality and looks your looking for, but there is no reason not to give it a shot.

DJ#7436

 

[Wynston]

There's nothing wrong with being shallow there's something wrong with hurting her feelings..

I'm shallow yippeee!!