Should I next this girl?

[flnazrael]

OK, so I use plentyoffish.com. Lame, maybe. Who knows. But I found someone who caught my eye. She appears on 150 members' favorite lists, for users of that site, that will explain how hot she is.

Messaged her. Got her number after a nice C&F routine and having to insist for the third time that I'm not married, or a crackhead, or a psycho.

I call Thursday and leave her a message; she calls back two hours later. We talked for 10 mins, very good conversation. I kept her laughing, plenty more C&F, some neg hits, blah blah. I offered to take her to a concert the next day but her friends were throwing a birthday party for her. I tell her I'll just call her Saturday and we'd set up a date. She says OK and I end the conversation. The next day she adds me to her favorites on POF and visits my myspace five times (yeah, I have a tracker.)

I call Saturday at 3pm, left a message. No call back.

Despite my better judgment, I sent her a message on POF today, "You should call me back. " A few hours later she writes back, "I will." That's it. Still no call back.

Now, call me crazy, but not only is this confusing, it's disrespectful. And even though I would never call a girl back immediately, I would at least call her the same day. Am I reading too much into this? Just seems she would've/should've returned my call in a timely manner when she knew I was going to set up a date.

I don't want to let this slide, yet I really don't want to next her. But I'm still in such an early stage of my interaction with her that saying something about it will make me seem needy. I already fvcked up enough by emailing her today.

All I can think to do is wait until she does call, which I would at least hope would be tomorrow, is to not act like it bothered me, but just act disinterested. I'm just afraid to do this because I don't want to shut the door to her...I'm very interested in this girl. How can I balance this?

 

[penkitten]

if you were spinning more plates, this wouldn't be bothering you so much right now.

 

[flnazrael]

You're right. Unfortunately, I am so broke at the moment that I have to make the money I can spend on females count. lol This girl is definitely more interesting to me than the others I'm involved with right now.

 

[penkitten]

she is spinning more plates than you right now.

 

[flnazrael]

So then I'm thinking there's no middle road I can take on this...I need to just basically blow her off and try again down the road when I'm in a better position to play the game with her?

 

[Max Power]

Technically, she only blew you off once if that birthday party story was true. Considering she has 150 admirers you probably got competition. I would tell you to call her again, but unfortunately you're approaching this from a needy perspective and it will show. So next her. I'm interested to see what others say.

 

[penkitten]

i didnt say that.
all i am saying is, you just met her recently on the internet and you don't know her in person yet and you said everyone puts her on their favorites.
she gave you her number which is good.
however, she doesn't know you yet and seems busy, meaning she is spinning other plates already.
if you were spinning other plates right now, it wouldn't bother you so much that she is taking time getting back to you.
i don't know if things with you and this chick are going to work out, but i do know that you need to seem like you have other things going on besides her.

 

[flnazrael]

Two approaches...

I don't want to next her if at all possible, she was very easy to talk to and I can already tell she's a lot of fun. And that's on top of being hot.

Also, I do think the birthday story is true...when I first messaged her, both her POF and myspace profiles said 20. Now they're 21.

Anyway, I purposely didn't call her again, rather sent an email, though I really shouldn't have even done that.

I guess I'll try to take the middle road. I'd really just like to tell her that I have too much going on the rest of the week, and I'll be out of town on the weekend, but I don't want to put her off so long that the interest level dies.

 

[flnazrael]

She finally called me back, four days after my call to her.

Is this a sh1t test? I'm assuming it is, because if she wasn't interested, she would've never called back.

A large part of me just doesn't even want to fvck with it and just never call her back. But, just in case, how should I handle this test to keep my options open?

 

[Frenchconnection]

Sounds like me and this girl I thought we were cool and took a while to call back, then she tells me she's already seeing someone:cuss:

 

[flnazrael]

Yeah. Women are flaky.

And I realize that some girls have a policy, they only return calls after X amount of time...but she returned my first call within 2 hours, and then **** four day sh1t? No.

 

[Tazman]

Yeah. Women are flaky.

Only with guys they aren't that interested in. This seems to be a hard concept for a lot of guys on this site to understand. Women will put in effort (just like men) to get what they desire. When someone doesn't really care that much it will be very obvious through their actions or non-actions.

 

[Roulette]

What immediately came to my mind was that when she checked your MySpace, she got a "player vibe" from you. This is just my guess, as I obviously have never seen your MySpace. If you have a ton of girls commenting you, flirting with you, etc, she may feel like just another chick you're chatting up online.

Or perhaps I'm totally wrong and she was turned off by something completely different. Some bad pics that look nothing like your POF profile (I'm assuming POF has a profile I've never been before).

Kudos,
Matt

 

[flnazrael]

Only with guys they aren't that interested in. This seems to be a hard concept for a lot of guys on this site to understand. Women will put in effort (just like men) to get what they desire. When someone doesn't really care that much it will be very obvious through their actions or non-actions.

I don't think she would've even called back if she wasn't interested. I think it's a sh1t test, especially since the first time she called back within hours. My concern is how to handle it the best way.

 

[flnazrael]

What immediately came to my mind was that when she checked your MySpace, she got a "player vibe" from you. This is just my guess, as I obviously have never seen your MySpace. If you have a ton of girls commenting you, flirting with you, etc, she may feel like just another chick you're chatting up online.

Or perhaps I'm totally wrong and she was turned off by something completely different. Some bad pics that look nothing like your POF profile (I'm assuming POF has a profile I've never been before).

Kudos,
Matt

Maybe.

myspace link.

 

[Phyzzle]

I tell her I'll just call her Saturday and we'd set up a date.

Dammit dammit dammit!! This always kills me when people on here say this. Stop telling her that you're going to ask her out. Just ask her out!

Really, when I set something up for Saturday, I tell her the time and the place, and then I disappear. That's it. I'll see her there. It always works for me, my flake rate is pretty damn slender nowadays.

 

[flnazrael]

Dammit dammit dammit!! This always kills me when people on here say this. Stop telling her that you're going to ask her out. Just ask her out!

Really, when I set something up for Saturday, I tell her the time and the place, and then I disappear. That's it. I'll see her there. It always works for me, my flake rate is pretty damn slender nowadays.

Point taken. In this instance I left it open because while I had an alternative to the boring dinner/movie thing for Friday (the concert), which is when I originally asked her out, I didn't know what else I could line up for the weekend. So to give myself time to come up with a fun date for another day, I handled the call as I did.

 

[Frenchconnection]

I don't think she would've even called back if she wasn't interested. I think it's a sh1t test, especially since the first time she called back within hours. My concern is how to handle it the best way.

Unfortunately my friend, try not to have too much wisheful thinking with this one.

Even if it was a sh1t test, what kinda of girl is she if she's testing you and playing games?

Unless she's the embassador of a foreign country, two days to call back is a bit late and somewhat rude.

As the previous poster said, if the girl is really interested in you, she would make all efforts to hook up.