You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Good stuff here.Ace_McGregor said:You should be laying the groundwork with any potential girls you like in class as soon as possible. If you wait halfway through the semester to talk to a girl that you are interested in it may come off as a little odd...
This was always my strategy when I was in college...
1.) Don't arrive too early or too late on the first few days of class. You want to walk in and find some attractive girls to sit by. If you show up too early the class will be empty, and it will be up to fate if any hottie walks in a sits by you.... BUT, if you show up late there won't be many free seats left so your options may be limited on who you can sit by. That first class is important because most people sit in the same seats the whole semester that they picked on that first day - so you won't be able to switch seats throughout the semester without it being weird unless it is a big auditorium classroom.
2.) Establish the groundwork from day one that you are a friendly, talkative person (This is the first time these people have seen you, so you are free to establish your personality as you wish). So as soon as you sit down by a cute girl start chatting her up, as well as chatting up the other people around you. Approach as a friend, don't ask a girl out until you are sure there is attraction there, which could take weeks... There is no need to rush in asking a girl out you have class with.
3.) If you see a girl in class you like that you can't sit by you should try two things. First, try to "bump" into her and start small talk when leaving class, or on breaks, etc. Second, make sure you talk in class as much as possible (Ask intelligent questions, if you give speeches make sure they are captivating, offer thoughtful opinions) within reason ofcourse - you don't want to appear to be a noitall - the goal if to show you are an alpha male and a person of passion and to also convey your personality indirectly to her.
I don't think Kev07 means you should try to be "bossy", but you should try to be alpha.cosmo said:and all this "be the bossy leader" stuff...well, all i'm saying is some ppl aren't attracted to that. just be cool,sometimes the quiet "mysterious" guy has more appeal anyway.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Ace_McGregor said:I don't think Kev07 means you should try to be "bossy", but you should try to be alpha.
Example: I had a class where we would split into groups for projects. At the end of each project we had to pick one person to speak in front of the class to present our findings. I liked speaking in front of people so I always volunteered to speak. I am naturally a good speaker so I always did great. Thing is I ran into a incredibly hot girl from that class at a bar (keep in mind we had never spoke before this) and we ended up making out there because she said she loved the persona I exuded when I spoke in class.
sidenote: If you want to test the waters with a girl you like in class ask her to grab a cup of coffee after class.
Kev07 said:Exactly.
When I was an AFC in my groups, we would all just sit around and give the whole "okay what should we do..." bs.
Take control, you don't exactly have to BOSS them around, make suggestions, if they don't complain, go with it. Don't just sit around waiting for someone else to start making decisions.
This would be my strategy in your math class: Don't try to snag the seat next to her yet - it conveys way too much interest and could come off as weird. You should have gotten that seat from day 1. Instead catch her on the way out and start walking with her. Start small talk with her (you should have tons of questions you can ask her about class, etc.) Do this a few times and build some rapport with her. Then after this snag that seat next to her one day in class to ask her a question, then keep talking and act like you don't feel like moving once class starts. Then as long as you got a connection you should be able to sit by her for the rest of the semester and work your mojo.Maxtro said:In my first class Math, there is a girl that I actually attended summer school with. We have talked several times but nothing really major. I foolishly made the mistake of not sitting next to her the first day and now some random person (not her friend) sits next to her. I'm thinking about coming into class early next time and taking that persons spot so I can sit next to her. I just wish I had some interesting / funny reason to give her. Due to our seating distance we haven't been able to talk for a while. I am certain she has caught me checking her out as I can't help but look over to her and I think that she has been looking back towards me or maybe something else on separate occasions. When I walk into class she waves to me and today as class ended she walked by, gave me a big smile and said "bye" while she was on her cell. She's just probably being friendly but it's annoying that she hops on her cell as soon as class ends.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.