Should I greet her ?

[chatoh]

Hi Fellow Forum members !
I want some advice.
I was dating this girl for the last two months. Just to make things short, we had a nasty argument on December 26, and she turned into a real b..t..c..h, after I decided to stand up to her. Recently, we had been having some problems, and I fell into the "nice guy trap", trying to appease her and help her in her mood swings by being nice and understanding with her. Ironically, she started to lose interest in me and become more distant. After the December 26 argument, following the advice of DJ masters I am not calling her to mend things because I was the offended part, but my doubt is should I send her an e-mail or a text message to greet her on New Year´s as a matter o courtesy, writing something like "Hi Jane Doe, I wish a Happy New Year", or should I just keep avoiding contacting her, until she gives up and calls me first, as the golden rule of expert DJs would advise.
I appreciate very much the advice of DJ masters. Thanks !

 

[chatoh]

Thanks for the advice

Incog : Thanks for the advice.
I was in doubt of messaging her or not as matter of courtesy. But I believe your advise is good. This girl started out sweetly with me initially, and then started to become more distant when she felt she could take me for granted after I revealed to her I had feelings for her, because I fell into the "nice guy trap". As of late, I become understanding and showed concern with her "baggage problems" and was sensitive and stood by her side. Ironically she did not value that and started to lose interest in me and grew colder in attitude towards me.
On December 26 after an action she did, which offended me came up, I snapped and raised my voice and she did too even louder, saying she will not allow me to raise her voice to her. That´s when things ended. For the last 48 hours I have not contacted her, and she hasn´t either.
I thought maybe as a courtesy gesture I could greet her through SMS or e-mail for New Year, that is why I raised the question to the forum fellow members.

 

[STORMCLOUD]

Recently, we had been having some problems, and I fell into the "nice guy trap", trying to appease her and help her in her mood swings by being nice and understanding with her. Ironically, she started to lose interest in me and become more distant.

Read this and think about what you've wrote. It's all you need to know. By bowing down to her, you leave yourself wide open to future humiliation and disrespect. I know you're probably sitting there feeling lonely and holding tremendous guilt for hurting her feelings. But if your justified in your behavior/reaction, then why do you have to sit there and kiss her a*s. You should feel no shame towards her but maybe towards yourself for allowing yourself to get sucked in by her.

You've been with her for two months and she's given you this much trouble? I dealt with someone like this in the last year. What a headache she has been... But I've managed to regain my self respect and seldom tolerate her bad behavior. SHe chases me now and I don't give in. YOU my friend need to do the same!!!


So, to answer your original question....

Don't contact her. What the f*ck for? Go out with your friends and do your thing. You need to show some independence. Let her do the wondering instead of you doing it all the time. Don't mean to come across as harsh or angry towards because I'm not. It's these kind of chicks that really are a thorn in my side. Who the hell does she think she is walking all over you.

Just know most women don't want to be seen as the bad person, so more than likely she will make amends. If not, then it's for the better.

You need to stand firm as a matter of courtesy to yourself.

Take Care!

 

[Last Man Standing]

Keep your dignity and leave "biotches" alone - give her a kick in ass as a send off for the new year!! Say "No" to hos!!!

 

[kyphan]

Keep your dignity and leave "biotches" alone - give her a kick in ass as a send off for the new year!! Say "No" to hos!!!

Occassionally I love these posts, especially when they fit the topic as perfectly as this one did :crackup:

 

[jophil28]

A couple of ponts -
1. What was the issue that you fought over?

2. If a woman said to me that she will not *allow* me to raise my voice then I read that as her trying to divert attention away from her bad behavior and slap you for your 'tone of voice' .This is avoidance and evasive on her part !

3. Take it from me. THe way you travel in a relationship is the way that YOU set it up in the first few weeks . I have done what you did- let her think that I was NICE and accomodating and understanding BECAUSE she had personal issues . NICENESS invites exploitation from women .And it is hard to turn the tide once you go down the NIce Guy route. Go Back ! Wrong Way !

4.Do NOT call her or email her -she will be in touch with you soon ( they always find a way or a pretext to contact you ). If she does, then THAT is the time to lay down some new rules because YOU are in the power position.. If she does not like the new rules then you know what you need to do next - Be strong !!

 

[Aaron B]

did you have sex with her when you were dating?

 

[Makkaveli101]

Don't call or message her. Consider extending her that courtesy if she attempts to contact you, then it will be very much up to you on your playing field.

 

[jophil28]

Expecting that a woman will treat you with respect because your are a *NICE GUY* is like hoping that a bull will not charge because you are a vegetarian !

 

[Makkaveli101]

Expecting that a woman will treat you with respect because your are a *NICE GUY* is like hoping that a bull will not charge because you are a vegetarian !

Excellent analogy.

 

[amoka]

....my doubt is should I send her an e-mail or a text message to greet her on New Year´s as a matter o courtesy....

Are you sure you want to send her this message out of courtesy or just want to here from her?