"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Should I get rejected intentionally to show interest

bkbcoach

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Hey, I need some advice. I met a female trainer at the gym I just joined. She and I spent an hour talking the first day after she showed me around. The next time I went to the gym she immediiately gave me a big smile and wave. During the next three weeks she continually found me and when she did she would smile and wave, with her eyes just glistening. She would come and talk to me or talk to somebody near me and continue to look at me. She asked me how to change her windshield wiper blade or where she could go to have it changed. In the past I would have offered to do it but I know that puts you in the friend category.
I planned to ask her out but could not get her alone to ask her. ( Did not want to embarass her or make her uncomfortable). One day she showed up with a big ring on her left ring finger so I thought maybe she had a boyfriend even though she was acting interested in me. I finally asked somebody who told me she did have a boyfriend. My question is : Should I go ahead and ask her out so she knows I am interested just in case she breaks up with her boyfriend one day? I had the feeling she was wondering if I was going to ask her. I know if girls expect you to ask her out and you don't they move on or begin to feel you are not interested. I think she knows I am attracted to her and she does not know that I found out she had a boyfriend. Should I ask her knowing I am going to get rejected? Positive is she will know how I feel. Negative I could make her feel uncomfortable at her job.
A little more information. I am disabled ( chronic pain) and have not really done anything for 13 years and am enjoying being able to go to the gym again. It is making me feel really better ( some of that is her) and I have not been able to meet many females lately due to the pain level. I have had 3 surgeries recently to get to the point I have a life again. I don't really know where else to meet a female right now and she is really pretty and I can handle being rejected. I would feel bad if 6 months from now I found out she had broken up with her BF and found another and I had never expressed any interest so even if she considered me she would think I wasn't interested.
I appreciate and advice I can receive.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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ARrocket

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well, I would just make a comment that makes her know you're aware of the bf. Then I would just continue to flirt and make it obvious you're interested....then when she breaks up with him, she'll let you know.
 

nismo-4

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It's better to ask and get turned down than to regret not asking and finding out that you could've won the girl. And you said you can handle being rejected, you got a lot of balls! Be smooth about the whole boyfriend thing, and don't fall in the friend zone.

Good luck with that.
 

Andromax

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If you are feeling the IOIs and you LIKE her the only reason to NOT ask her out is your OWN insecurities then something is amiss. Did you really need it spelled out? :D
 

Infamous J

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Not to crush your spirit or anything man, but remember this is a female trainer and you're at her place of business. Her job, her income and livelihood comes from convincing guys like you that you need her services. Services being helping you strength train, putting you on a program, etc.

Similar to a waitress being extra friendly with you to get that extra bit of tip, many trainers like this girl will use flirtatiousness to increase their client base. It's like walking in a car lot and having a saleswoman come up to you smiling and acting all friendly. Well of course, she wants to make $$ off of you, that's why she's there. I'm sure it feels good to have her smile and wave at you, but trust me when I say she's smiling and waving the exact same way at 50 other guys a day as well.

The fact that she showed up with a ring on doesn't bode well for your chances either. You could always ask her out, but if it were me I wouldn't. If she rejects you, and based on the circumstances there's a good chance she will, it could be awkward for you to see her day after day afterwards. I have a general rule that I don't approach girls in any situation where they stand to benefit off of me financially. They have (or think they have) too much power in those situations and it's not worth the trouble to me, especially when there's so many others out there.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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amoka

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One thing you must remember is that it is her job to make sure that anybody that comes in the guy feels comfortable. Think of her as a server at a restaurant. It is their job to make you feel comfortable and KEEP coming. Don't fantasize too much. Do your workout, tease her about her ring (instead of conducting a survey on her).:
bkbcoach: "So when is the wedding?"
Her: "what wedding?"
bkbcoach: "The ring. When are you getting married?"
Her: "emm... It is not a wedding ring. I just like putting it on occasionally."
....
 

Bonafide

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I say **** her and look at some of the other women, dont just focus on one woman that leads back to the AFC ways. Three weeks is a long time for no moves.
 
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