"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Should I get into a relationship?

Fly By Night

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What's up SS? I have been MIA for a minute.

Now I want to make this brief but, this one girl I met first semester had a crush on me, I just kept talking and flirting around with her and she kept wanting to hang out with me. She is alright-looking, a 6 or 7 if I had to rate her, a little chubby. My guys threw parties and she came to them and during the whole time she was always trying to get close to me and such.

So one of those nights, we basically made out. I told her I wasn't currently looking for a relationship immediately after, she asked me why and b.s. but I just told her I wasn't really interested in that stuff. She said okay and that she never really kisses guys who she is not in relationships with. But over the course of the last 3 months, we have progressed from kissing... to groping... to sleep-overs... to getting naked... to me fingering her... to her giving me head. Ridiculous, so much for not kissing guys she isn't in relationships with. When I brought that up to her, she rationalized it by saying she "really really really" likes me. She literally texts me every 2 hours now since summer break has started.

So now she is basically giving me an ultimatum, saying that she wants a relationship or she will leave. This would be a super-easy question for me to answer on my own, but the problem is that she has literally muscled her way into my social circle. She is honestly only friends with my friends as a way to get them to influence me into going out with her. And it seems to be working since my female friends are telling me to tell my parents about her. What the f**k man... Schemin' ass b!tch.

I don't know if I should go into a relationship, because I doubt I want to get serious with her and I believe that if two people get into a relationship, they see their partner as possible marriage material. But with free access to sex... I could focus on other parts of my life and become better in bed which is something I've been trying to improve on. Then I ask myself, "Should I really get into a relationship for sex? I know I can get p*ssy without one." Plus dumping her when there might not even be a problem in the relationship would be tough...

This reminds me of that one article Pook wrote about good men being free birds and women trying to cage them. I feel like a bird about to get captured.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Fly By Night

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CaliMan007 said:
An ultimatum is a bad sign, especially if you give in.
Okay, maybe the word "ultimatum" was a little extreme for what REALLY happened. She basically told me that she really wanted a relationship and that she won't be my f***buddy forever. I just perceived it as a flimsy ultimatum.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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nismo-4

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From New Orleans, Louisiana to Atlanta, Georgia!!!
You are like a Paralyzaed Pokemon with 3 HP left and you're about to get an Ultra Ball thrown at you. Use your run away ability or allow her to capture you, thus adding you to her team. You won't be the top priority though!
 

Fly By Night

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Packers2010 said:
if it took you "MONTHS" to get that and you haven't had sex you are pretty much in a relationship anyway. so why not?
I haven't been trying to have sex with her, and we've pretty much done everything excluding sex, and she has always been chasing me. Her interest in me is practically through the roof. And I was leaning towards going for it, but I don't even feel like I fully got this DJ sh!t down, lol.

nismo-4 said:
You are like a Paralyzaed Pokemon with 3 HP left and you're about to get an Ultra Ball thrown at you. Use your run away ability or allow her to capture you, thus adding you to her team. You won't be the top priority though!
Can we drop the nerd lingo? :whistle: I don't care about being her number one, my ego isn't that weak... and why does everyone here think that every girl is effing another guy every 2 minutes she is away? I already said I don't see her as a serious long-term partner, I'm asking if it's a wrong move to date her for the reasons I provided.


Here's my assessment:
Pros:
-Access to/practice for sex
-Validation
-Social Proof
-Intimate connection

Cons:
-No practicing "DJ sh!t"
-Being committed at the young age of 20
-Wasting time with her vs. spending time on career/interests
-Constant thoughts in my head saying "I can get better"

I kind of wanted to get advice from guys who already have experience in relationships under this circumstance (or the likes of it), not what people think is best. FYI, she told her DAD about me...
 

BrownBear

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nismo-4 said:
You are like a Paralyzaed Pokemon with 3 HP left and you're about to get an Ultra Ball thrown at you. Use your run away ability or allow her to capture you, thus adding you to her team. You won't be the top priority though!
Do you play Pokemon on gameboy :woo: :woo: :woo:

I used to play Pokemon Yellow Version :eek:
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Aristippus

Master Don Juan
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I'd say go ahead and get into a relationship. Enjoy the sex and it will be a good way to get more experience and confidence and practice in the bedroom. You'll also have a little bit of history and contrary to what you think, it will help you with women in the future.

Remember, it's not like you're getting married. You're just going to be boyfriend and girlfriend. Don't be afraid to gain some easy experience with a girl you're already attracted to anyway. Experience doesn't have to be a long, painful road all of the time. Enjoy the easy successes too.
 

vatoloco

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You're 20 and you don't dig her that much.

Sounds like a no-brainer to me: Don't do it/her.
 

JoeMarron

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Lol you haven't even smashed yet. A relationship should be the last thing on your mind.
 

MM92

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You don't seem that into her and you shouldn't get a girlfriend for the sake if it. But on the other hand 3 months and you still haven't smashed her? After all that time I'd be tempted to get with her for a while, smash the granny out of her until I get bored then leave. As harsh as it sounds.
 

May_Day

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If you're skeptical about being in a relationship, then you shouldn't be in one. Don't get pulled into a relationship when you don't want to be in one. It never works out for you very well.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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