Should I Follow Through?

[WalkingStick]

I will make this short.

I recently told my girl that it is not acceptable for her to go to her guy friends house to hang out with him. I stood up to her, and she was upset at first, but later that night, her behavior turned around (isnt being masculine great? )

Anyway, I now realize that the reason I was uncomfortable with it was because I was not confident in our relationship. I am now confident, and I do trust her. Should I retract my statement and let her know that I am okay with it?

On one hand, I don't want to be a flip-flopper. On the other hand, I dont want to seem insecure and controlling like a little b*tch.

This guy certainly likes her, but he's probably a chump. If I prohibit her from seeing him, I feel like I will only be driving her toward him

Thanks guys!

 

[Audiophile]

It looks like you already know the answer. First of all, it was a bad idea to show that you are jealous of her other friends. This essentially gives her power over you, making her think "If my BF doesn't want me to be with this guy, he is obviously jealous, maybe because this guy is better and he knows it!".

Jealousy will show where the power lies in a relationship, if you were jealous of her with one of her friends, you are the powerless one in the relationship. I agree that you should at least stick to your decision now. You are right in thinking that because she isn't "allowed" to hang out with him, she will anyways.

Personally I think you just screwed yourself over, now she might begin to question your authority over her, and will start to break the "rules" you have set out, by hanging out with her friend. My advice, just remain a challenge, and try to get over your jealousy. Seriously, that has to be one of the most important things you can do, FORGET ABOUT JEALOUSY. Think about this, if this guy is a CHUMP, what fvcking reason is there for you to be jealous of him?

 

[eaglez1177]

It looks like you already know the answer. First of all, it was a bad idea to show that you are jealous of her other friends. This essentially gives her power over you, making her think "If my BF doesn't want me to be with this guy, he is obviously jealous, maybe because this guy is better and he knows it!".

Jealousy will show where the power lies in a relationship, if you were jealous of her with one of her friends, you are the powerless one in the relationship. I agree that you should at least stick to your decision now. You are right in thinking that because she isn't "allowed" to hang out with him, she will anyways.

Personally I think you just screwed yourself over, now she might begin to question your authority over her, and will start to break the "rules" you have set out, by hanging out with her friend. My advice, just remain a challenge, and try to get over your jealousy. Seriously, that has to be one of the most important things you can do, FORGET ABOUT JEALOUSY. Think about this, if this guy is a CHUMP, what fvcking reason is there for you to be jealous of him?

Audiophile hit the nail right on the head, especially in the bolded.

 

[WalkingStick]

Thanks for the comments, guys.

I realize that it was bad to be jealous in the first place.

I didnt flip out or anything, and I don't think I was way over the line. I told her I was uncomfortable with her hanging out alone at his house.

So I should stick to my guns and just not mention it? I realize I need to be confident from this point on either way.