"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Should I Follow My Gut Instinct??

soulforge

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ok guys opinions wanted..

met this girl on POF about 6 weeks ago... ended up f@cking her on the first date (major red flag)

she is coming on strong wanting a relationship with me... the sex is great... but i am having trouble trusting her

a few of reasons

01. she is off POF

02. she has lots of man friends

03. she is quite experimental & wants to try 3sums

04. she does not text me very often & takes ages to reply back to me

05. she tells me she is tired & has taken her sleeping pills, then i ring her
mobile phone number witheld & she is on the phone to somebody

06. she always seems busy on a night & takes forever to reply to my text messages, or tells me she fell asleep, but her phone has come up engaged when i have rang it


my gut is telling me not to trust this girl.... would i be making a mistake by ignoring it????
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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soulforge

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Dhoulmagus said:
Just use as a source for poon

ok so i just use her for sex???

what are the does & dont's in this type of situation?


she is always trying to cuddle me & hold my hand???


how do i remain emotionally detatched???
 

soulforge

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:-) said:
nuff said.


do you think we are writing woman off as sluts too easy, just because they are on POF???

mind you, this one met me within 3 hours of talking to her on POF & i was f@cking her on the first date
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

GotED?

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I learned my lesson from online dating in the past.

If you are looking for QUALITY women - do the homework and approach/meet women in real life like the good ol' days and earn your bread & butter the hard way.

I believe as a part of the journey of becoming a true DJ, a man must do the real hard work of approach, attract, contact, meet/date, build rapport, and seal the deal (whatever it is that you want out of it).

Online dating is full of low quality people, including ones with ISSUES that causes them to hide behind a computer online profile.

If I meet a woman in real life and she tells me she does online dating, that is an AUTOMATIC NEXT for me, no matter how hot or great her personality is. It is VERY difficult to build trust with a woman who does the online thing, it SCREAMS out Attention WHOORE in BIG LETTERS and I have no time for that sh!t.

But again, I only date women for LTR possibilities - this is not advice for those who just wants to get laid.

Be well.

Exodus
 

:-)

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soulforge said:
this one met me within 3 hours of talking to her on POF & i was f@cking her on the first date
/end thread.
 

soulforge

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GotED? said:
I learned my lesson from online dating in the past.

If you are looking for QUALITY women - do the homework and approach/meet women in real life like the good ol' days and earn your bread & butter the hard way.

I believe as a part of the journey of becoming a true DJ, a man must do the real hard work of approach, attract, contact, meet/date, build rapport, and seal the deal (whatever it is that you want out of it).

Online dating is full of low quality people, including ones with ISSUES that causes them to hide behind a computer online profile.

If I meet a woman in real life and she tells me she does online dating, that is an AUTOMATIC NEXT for me, no matter how hot or great her personality is. It is VERY difficult to build trust with a woman who does the online thing, it SCREAMS out Attention WHOORE in BIG LETTERS and I have no time for that sh!t.

Be well.

Exodus


i hear you man... this girl had sex with me on the first date... plus i am finding her behaviour very odd


she takes forever to text back, she tells me she is going to sleep, yet she is on the phone...

sometimes her interest level seems high, then low....


my gut is telling me not to trust this one.... i have got close to her recently..

i think i will have detatch myself & not let my heart get involved

strictly sex!!! nothing more
 

:-)

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soulforge said:
i have got close to her recently..

i think i will have detatch myself & not let my heart get involved
sounds like it''s too late for you OP. the damage has already been done.

dont worry i spent over six years trying to figure out a BPD. the writing was on the wall as clearly as yours is but lack of options on my part as well as media brainwashing made sure she strung me along all that time in the hope that she would 'change'. makes me shudder just thinking about it. :nervous:
 

VladPatton

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You said it yourself, man. She banged you 3 hrs after initial contact. Your gut is correct, this girl is just a dıck receptacle.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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ELMER_GANTRY

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Yes, you would be making a big mistake. Your first bad impression is what should make the choice for you because the longer you let it go, the less you will go on that instinct, you will forget about it and think everything is fine.
 

soulforge

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thank you for all your advice guys...

so guys i have decided this girl is not worthy of a relationship.. NOT A CHANCE

i am listening to my gut instinct, as i do not trust her & i believe this girl is a liar!!!

how do i treat her from here on? i still want to keep her around for sex


should i stop putting a x at the end of text messages to her???

how do i deal with her trying to be affectionate towards me? she is always wanting kisses & hugs around me & hold hands

should i cut down the amount of texts i send to her?

should i respond less to her text messages?

my gut tells me, this girl is a liar & not to be trusted in a relationship


how do you treat a girl, who you only intend to f@ck!!!!
 

El Suave

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soulforge said:
thank you for all your advice guys...

so guys i have decided this girl is not worthy of a relationship.. NOT A CHANCE

i am listening to my gut instinct, as i do not trust her & i believe this girl is a liar!!!

how do i treat her from here on? i still want to keep her around for sex


should i stop putting a x at the end of text messages to her???

how do i deal with her trying to be affectionate towards me? she is always wanting kisses & hugs around me & hold hands

should i cut down the amount of texts i send to her?

should i respond less to her text messages?

my gut tells me, this girl is a liar & not to be trusted in a relationship


how do you treat a girl, who you only intend to f@ck!!!!

Exactly the way she treats you!!! Watch and learn from her. You take longer to reply, be busy and don't answer the phone all the time, cuddle if you feel like it or don't. Don't take her out to dinners. Movies, glass of wine and bang at your place.

You are sitting there waiting for her to reply to your messages/phone calls. It has to be THE OTHER WAY around.
 

Serenity

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This sounds very similar to a chick I met on online dating, except for threesomes and slow texting. If you don't know how to handle your feelings I suggest you don't try to keep her for sex, they have a way of messing with you.

The one I got was blowing hot and cold, sex on first night (she almost insisted), loads of male friends, secretive behavior and plain obvious lies. That was within the scope of 3 dates. Cut contact and enjoyed the expected desperate apologies to attempt to get me back. Hard decision though as this was the first chick I fvcked for years after joining here.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Bingo-Player

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how do you treat a girl, who you only intend to f@ck!!!!
Professionally of course

Speak only when your spoken too , arrange a regular day that suits you both for s*x or whatever with her and leave it at that , if she misses an “appointment” who cares…… next

However in your situation – you need to backtrack as you have apparently developed feelings for this sl&t

With a girl like this Texting her and meeting her outside of the Fu*k buddy parameters is only going to cause you grief

Chances are after a while of this she will be the one who starts developing feelings for you , the power balance will change to your advantage and you will be laughing

I read an interesting tweet a chick I know put up the other day it simply read

“ oh wow everyone thinks girls are the ones who get attached way to quickly when infact it is guys”

This speaks volumes and couldn’t be truer

Be cool
 

GotED?

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===============================================

should i stop putting a x at the end of text messages to her???


===============================================

WTF!!!?????

You have gone to the borderlands of AFC-ville, darlin'.......... LOL......

Men should NEVER put anything close to resembling 'X's at the end of texts.

You have been emotionally invested, now take the battlewounds and withdraw - easiest way is to find other women to take your attention away from this hoe.

SHE IS A PLAYER - you been played, and rightfully so, because you went in as a PLAYER, and came out as a ROMEO.

Be well.

Exodus
 

old_skoolr

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How are you a Senior DJ? This is basic S.L.U.T type. You smashed her box on the first date, what were you expecting??? Smash the box as much as you can, and if she wants to bring her friend, fu..ck her too.


But why are you here asking us stuff you should already know...I have no clue
 

sylvester the cat

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Your gut and your brain is telling you what is what. It's your d1ck that isn't listening. The d1ck can't tell the difference between love and sex and often confuses the two. any excuse for the poontang.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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