"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Should I feel like less of a man?

kbello

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My gf and I have been together almost 8 months now. We were talking the other day about how things progressed between us since we got together.

This is a long-distance relationship. We live about 2.5 hours away from each other. When we met it was at the club in my town where she just happened to be visiting with a friend. We had a good time, hung out, had a pretty intense little makeout session. I wasn['t able to see her for about a month after that since i had to travel away on a road trip. We kept in touch on the phone.

Next time I saw her was in a town just between where we both live and it's where her best friend lives so we had our second date, made out some more and just crashed at her friend's place. I didn't bother to try and close it with sex since she seemed to be onto me. The next day she even asked me if I had brought condoms( I found out later, this was her test to see if I was a player like she had suspected). So i passed that test. Next time I saw her again was about a month later since I had to leave town again for work.

This next time I went to see her in her town (she was 25, but lived with her parents since she was savnig to buy a house). I stayed a few nights with her, but never let it go beyond some intense making out and touching since we were in her parents basement(could here them above us) and it was a bt awkward.

Anyway, long story short, I went to see her there twice more spaced over about a month before I decided that it was time to close the deal. And that was that. I was going to wait until she came down to my place since I live alone(I had originally told her as well, that I would never have sex at my parents place in her situation, and she said she would only do it there if they weren't around....which they always were until the night we hit it) but decided I couldn't wait anymore.

So, eveything between us is great, and we're in a serious thing now. Tells me she loves me. I know that things moved at a natural pace and that part of the reason why I waited to close it was becasue I knew she had been screwed over by a few guys in the past and also, the fact that we were at her parent's place. I only feel like I wish I would've made a move earlier, because I found out that the guy she dated before me, she slept with after only under a month into it (5 dates or so). He lived closer and they were able to see each other more frequently, but I still kind of wish I would have made the move earlier when I think about it then it wouldn't be on my mind.

She has told me that she had a threshold requirement for guys that she sleeps with or kisses. She only kisses guys were she is attracted enought that she would sleep with them at some point if things progressed further. So I guess i made that threshold when she first met me. She also told me that she felt it was a mistake sleeping with the other guy as early as she did, so maybe that had an effect on things too?

Anyway, should I even care? Is it a bad thing that I waited until I got to know her better and felt that we were both more comfortable? Does it make me less manly in her eyes?

Kb
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Visceral

Master Don Juan
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The only thing that would make you, or anyone else, less of a man is if you weren't doing what YOU wanted ... either because you were holding back out of fear or because you were letting her call the shots.

If what took place is what you had in mind to do all along, then there's nothing wrong.
 

Qualtran

Don Juan
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It makes no difference at what point you slept with her, especially since it has now happened. You did things your own way and thats fine. Don't worry about this at all.
 
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