"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Should I continue with NC or pursue her?

the_stig

the_stig

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I've been on/off with this girl (27) for a few months. Two and a half weeks ago she pulled back physically, not knowing if I was sleeping around and had to be careful with STDs due to a medical condition. We only had sex once since we started seeing each other again. I stupidly made an insensitive comment that really set her off. She'd just given me a framed picture of us two days before. But, she wasn't affectionate the day of the fight, which was odd.

I apologized, she claimed to be over it, but remained very distant so I backed way off. Two weeks ago she was "giving us/the issue" space. I've only initiated contact a week ago when I asked how she was doing, and we should get together. She was busy on the days I purposed and didn't offer a reschedule. Every few days she sends a blank text, too often to be an accident. I especially notice them when my facebook indicates other girls are talking to me. A week ago I uploaded a picture with female friends from the bar and Saturday she commented on it saying "Looks like you're doing well :)" followed by a blank text Sunday, and last night. Don't know if she wants to talk and that's her way of throwing the bait out, or if its chilidish games.

Should I just call her and try talking like adults, or since I did my part in apologizing do I continue NC until she gives me a REAL contact-- a mature text, a phone call?
 
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"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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J

jophil28

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the_stig said:
... do I continue NC until she gives me a REAL contact-- a mature text, a phone call?
Click to expand...
Yes, stay in radio silence until she contacts you like a grown adult..
THose dumb blank texts are not something a man should try to decode. They are meaningless nonsense .
 
J

Johnnyventana

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Seriously, WTF with the blank texts?! First she over reacts, big time, and then sends you blank after blank text?!? Huh.

This one is easy. IGNORE! She's clearly hoping you'll chase, hoping you'll wonder what those blank texts are about. Is she 12? IGNORE and she'll be all over you soon enough - though you may want to run at that point. Very Strange.
 
bigneil

bigneil

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Sit tight. In 4-6 days she'll text you. Then, only reply - don't initiate.
 
C

Cherokee

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Theres a million and one reasons for anything. Blank texts mean she sent it by accident? don't read into it man!

Withdrawing your attention is the best form of action. Because...

A) It shows you're not willing to stoop to her level and be immature

B) Attention is the greatest asset a man has. Rewarding a well behaved girl with your attention and withdrawing it when she is bad.

A lot of people don't know the power of silence in a conflict.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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the_stig

the_stig

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You guys were spot on. She finally broke down and has been texting me quite a bit today. Do I remain aloof for a while to show my displeasure for her pulling back, or should I just be myself? Also don't know if she still views me in a romantic capacity and would like to find out without giving her the frame.
 
B

betheman

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will you guys please post the ages of these headcases? she sounds about 14!

one thing Id add, if this is the way she starts a relationship..what lies ahead down the road? think about it
 
J

jophil28

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Cherokee said:
Withdrawing your attention is the best form of action. Because...

A) It shows you're not willing to stoop to her level and be immature

B) Attention is the greatest asset a man has. Rewarding a well behaved girl with your attention and withdrawing it when she is bad.

A lot of people don't know the power of silence in a conflict.
Click to expand...
Good advice^^
 
the_stig

the_stig

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Like I said, she finally broke down and sent me a real text yesterday. We exchanged maybe 20-30 texts, things seemed normal. This morning she texts saying "Have a great week" which to me hints I won't be hearing from her. I didn't respond and she's the type that texts often and always initiates them. Does this confirm she's playing with me hardcore, am I just over-thinking?
 
5

5string

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As stated above, maintain radio silence in the presence of bad behavior. This would include all these texts.

There is a rat in the woodpile which is the reason for her behavior. Could be another guy or something. Who knows.

Cherokee gave you good advice. Everytime you communicate with her, you are giving her attention.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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the_stig

the_stig

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5string said:
As stated above, maintain radio silence in the presence of bad behavior. This would include all these texts.

There is a rat in the woodpile which is the reason for her behavior. Could be another guy or something. Who knows.

Cherokee gave you good advice. Everytime you communicate with her, you are giving her attention.
Click to expand...
The problem is, this circus act been going on for 3+ weeks now and I'm beyond tired of it. I feel like asking her out one final time, and if she brushes me off, i'll be able to say to hell with it and move on without any doubts. Would that be a hasty and impulsive move that would undue my "playing it cool", or okay so I don't waste anymore time and energy on this if nothings there?

I'm seeing other girls but this push/pull has my head spinning.
 
the_stig

the_stig

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Johnnyventana said:
Read THIS. Before you do anything:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=155594
Click to expand...
I understand how that applies but FYI she never indicated she was dumping me, just said she was giving us/the issue space a few days later. I know we judge women on their actions tho.

Should I delete her off Facebook? She is a fb addict and would notice for sure. I find myself making a beeline for her page everytime I log in. I know she keeps tabs on me with mine.
 
J

Johnnyventana

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Deleting her on FB shows you care TOO much. Don't do a thing. She is being a passive/aggressive B! And you are falling into her trap. The more you chase, call, etc., the more she knows she can take all the space she wants, because your b-arse isn't going anywhere. Seriously, make yourself scarce. Go have fun. Let her think, and think, and soon regret her need for space.

If you wait, you may have a shot. If you don't, you are surely out. If not now, soon. Because you'll will have given her the 'pants.' Always a bad idea. And didn't you already reach out? Don't make the same mistake again. For your own good.
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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