"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Should I continue to pursue her?

gator959

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I was dating a girl, well seeing her, for about 6 month about a year ago before we broke it off. We never really dated officially but we did all the couple **** - went on dates, slept at each others place and were mutual to each other - without the title. We made summer plans before we met - I ended up going travelling over the summer as did she - and at this point we were 'broken up'. Once we came back from our respective travels, we didn't really talk much. I still liked her and wanted to pursue her but she showed no interest in that, instead wanting to pursue a friendship. I thought that was bull**** so I cut her out completely. Stopped responding to texts and evaded her attempts to meet up with me. Of course I missed her and wanted to be with her but I wasn't about to have her play with my feelings, because I still wanted to be with her.
Fast forward 3 months, when we started to talk again, while I was abroad. we talked for weeks and weeks after and then she invited me over to her place. Thinking we were starting to rekindle things, I went over there. We hung out for 90 mins and were having a great time, before one of her friends came over, at which time I figured that we weren't really rekindling anything. That was her attempt at maintaining a friendship. I left a bit disappointed and figured that was a bust, so I decided not to spend any more time thinking about her.
Fast forward 3 more months to the present - She had been texting me a couple of weeks and I would reluctantly reply, but after a few days the conversation would get rolling and some feelings for her would come back. She invited me over again, for dinner this time, when her roommates were away. We cooked dinner together then kept hanging out - it felt natural and as if nothing changed from the first time we were together. We ended up having sex that night, really hot passionate sex, and I stayed the night. The next night, I invited her over, we hung out and then had sex again but she didn't stay the night, as she worked in the morning. She invited me to meet with her friend the next day - we had a good time, then I met with her that evening for a drink and we went back to her place. No sex this time but we slept together and the next morning kissed her goodbye and took off.
Ive been trying to hang out with her since (this was a week ago), but all I've gotten is 2 30min lunch dates on her work breaks. For some reason I feel like she's disinterested all of a sudden and I think I'm getting slightly insecure about it. Ive never been a great texter so that hasn't changed much and our conversations aren't elaborate over text but... in person we click and we laugh out loud and our conversations flow very well. Right now my feelings for her are back and I want to be with her.
Should I just go about my life and see what she does, not make an effort on way or the other in spending time with her - or should I continue to actively pursue her?
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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sodbuster

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well, NOT being interested worked before, now that she thinks you are locked down "into her" she's playing hard to get? not sure how hard I'd chase. Try a bit, but if it's too hard to get it done, maybe go silent again..... it worked the last time right? Some women are mental and are into that kind of treatment
 

gator959

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I seem to become beta af around her and seek her attention when she shows interest, but thats gonna change - i hope. my feelings for her make me vulnerable and i start acting like a p*ssy. i get jealous and insecure but I'm getting sick of the games she plays. Not responding to texts when its initiated by me, or responding with one word or line - but when I don't respond to hers for a few hours or so she lets me know. When she's interested, she has all the time in the world to talk and make conversation. I feel like the recent sex was just to satisfy her needs, not to rekindle anything as far as our 'relationship'. Its pretty frustrating feeling this way - having no back bone around her.

I guess I'm whipped and don't even realize it.
 

gator959

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yeah, you are both right, she does not respect me and from this moment on she's totally out of my life. 100% out and theres no turning back.
 

gator959

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I found out that she f*cked a friend of mine while we were broken up (a few months ago) - and that was the last straw for me. I no longer wish to speak to her or this **** friend of mine. Ive cut all contact with them from this point on and don't see how I can regain any trust ever from either of them. its too bad this is how I learn of the true intentions of people I thought who cared about me but a lesson is a lesson, regardless of how hard it might be to take.

Emotionally I'm really hurt.
It will pass. Not soon likely, but it will pass.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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The Duke

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I don't even bother with girls like this. Too much bs and in the end they are never worth it.
 
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