Should I confront her?!

[Love_Games?!?]

Hey guys,

I'll give you the low down and hopefully you can give me some advice on the issue.

Basically my girlfriend went back home to see her friends over the holidays. This is also where her ex is at. We're really into each other and things are going great. We're also pretty open with one another. She had mentioned once that her ex was messaging her on facebook. I'm not sure exactly why she told me that but of course I must not have looked happy when she informed me of this because she immediately smiled and said something along the lines of "Don't worry baby, you know I love you"

Anyways to get to the point she was over at my spot and left her facebook open after she had left. So I decided I wanted to see what her ex had been messaging her before she went home. The message basically consisted of her ex asking her if she was coming home and if so that they should get together to "catch up".

Now I completely understand him messaging her because well he is probably hoping that he can get some when shes home. But what kinda shocked me was the fact that she wanted too saying things like "I think it would be great for us to catch up over the holidays" and "ill be sure to let you know when I'm home so we can catch up" and "I don't have your number so I'll fb you when I'm home and let you know when I have time"

I do trust her but I find it hard not to think that she may have gotten together with her ex over the break. Is this something I should approve of considering they do have a past or should I expect her to completely ignore him now?!

I'm not even sure if I should confront her because she would obviously know I checked her messages and then she would play the "Do you not trust me" card.

So the big question is... Should I call her out on this or forget about it?!

 

[sodbuster]

Leave it alone,just keep it in mind. Learn what/who you are dealing with. If she ends up not being GF material,drop her down to fuc& buddy. Then find her replacement. It's a red flag,but only one so far. BUT I don't like the contacting her ex to hang out either-she shouldn't WANT to spend time with an ex. There is a reason for the ex part.

 

[Love_Games?!?]

Leave it alone,just keep it in mind. Learn what/who you are dealing with. If she ends up not being GF material,drop her down to fuc& buddy. Then find her replacement. It's a red flag,but only one so far. BUT I don't like the contacting her ex to hang out either-she shouldn't WANT to spend time with an ex. There is a reason for the ex part.

She didn't contact him she replied to his message. But your advice is good I'll keep it in mind. Thank you.

Anyone else have suggestions?

 

[Tiguere]

hows her behavior since? hows the sex since?

 

[Iceberg]

She didn't contact him she replied to his message. But your advice is good I'll keep it in mind. Thank you.

Anyone else have suggestions?

Making an issue out of it won't help. I mean, if she's the type of girl that has it in her heart to cheat on you, then arguing with her isn't gonna change her desire, right?

And if she's not interested in cheating on you, then you just started a fight over nothing.

If I were you, I'd just keep this in my mental notebook. Stay alert. If things start getting weird between you two, you'll know why.

In the meantime, play it cool. Maybe too cool...the only time I'd talk to my ex's when I was in relationships was when my interest levels were lowering. Back off a little and let your girl wonder what you're doing....kinda like you're wondering about her right now. We want to raise her interest level a little bit.

 

[TizZle]

Big Red Flag in my book. I would lessen the amount of contact with her. Do things to keep you busy all the time. Keep your cool. Start looking for backup chicks in case sh1t hits the fan.

 

[Bobby Rio]

Dude... she might just be being nice to him. I have a girlfriend and when other girls contact me to hangout- i never flatly refuse (especially if its an old friend)

So yea, just chill out- and keep it in the back of your mind but don't confront her.

You shouldn't be reading her ****. Period.

 

[Love_Games?!?]

Thanks for the advice guys, especially Iceberg that advice hit home.

And Bobby Rio you are right I shouldn't read her ****, but I feel like I have a right to know if shes gonna be visiting her ex so I don't feel to bad about seeing what was going on.

As for my decision I'm gonna leave it alone. Now that I've had some time to think about it I've realized nothing good would come from bringing it up.

Thanks guys!

 

[Kailex]

Yes, please bring up to your girlfriend that you were in her Facebook, reading her conversations with her ex.

Then, enjoy being single once again and meeting many other women.

And btw, that was sarcasm.

 

[Annapolis Sailor]

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[Annapolis Sailor]

Am I the only one seeing this!?

Hey guys,

I'll give you the low down and hopefully you can give me some advice on the issue.

Basically my girlfriend went back home to see her friends over the holidays. T

So the big question is... Should I call her out on this or forget about it?!

Buddy, Please!!!

Do not kid yourself. She is planning on 'catching up' with him! Really! Let me ask you this, would she have told you she was planning on seeing him when she was visiting her friends in town if you had not asked? How long have you two been together? If it is over 8 months to a year then you got problems. This is not all about trust. It is also about prudence. A person who is with someone for any length of time and things are going well, then one would NEVER do such a thing.

Let us look at this another way. Supposing it was you in this situation. You love your girlfriend and things are good. Out of the blue your ex girlfriend writes you on Facebook. Your ex is way hotter than the girl you are with. The only reason you are not with your ex is that she broke up with you. Whatever the reason, she writes you and says she wants to 'catch up'. You know from experience that your ex has a strong sex drive. Now think would you do her if the discussion goes from 'catching up' to 'mounting up'. Come on! Do not be a dupe.

Here is the proper way to do this and the way mature adults who have moved on from their ex would do this. It plays out like this: gf-(present girlfriend), and ex-(ex boyfriend)

ex "So you are going to be in town next week. We should catch up"

gf "That is fine if you really insist on doing that. I do not know why you are so insistent on meeting. However, to be fair to you and your present situational problem I will agree to meet. You must, however, allow me to bring my present boyfriend to the meeting. Otherwise, you must understand I have moved on and it is only proper we respect our boundaries. It would not be prudent otherwise"

Do you see my point? Makes sense does it not? If she does not agree to this she will meet with her ex's behind your back, and do not be naive to think that the guy will not try his damnist to get her in the sack. The real test is to ask if you were temped, what would you do? If you were not tempted then let her go. However, do not complain if she comes back and in a few months later tells you, "my ex and I are going to try to work things out. You are a nice guy and everything but...."
If it were me, I would dump any woman who insists on meeting with her ex's in private and does not clearly see the wrong in it. Again, mature adults who understand prudence never do this. If you are still unsure, go ask a mature woman, much older than you, someone successful in the relationship arena and having rock solid morals and beliefs. I promise you will be astounded in the advice they give you. Probably more candid than I did. Good luck.

 

[Rez]

If she's sleeping with another guy while the two of you are together, then "playing it cool" and "letting it slide" is NOT going to help. How cool are you going to feel when you contract an STD just because you decided to not man up about this?

If she wants to see other people then that's fine, and if you're okay with this type of relationship then that's none of my business. But if you're not, then get rid of her and find someone who actually deserves your time and respect.