"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Should I call/text this girl again or wait things out?

gari

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So, I recently went on a date with a HB9 which I thought went very well. She laughed at my jokes, smiled a lot, the conversation was great, she commented that I have a great personality and that Im funny. The date ended with just a hug though but she's really conservative and comes from a religiously conservative family so I didnt want to push things and it didnt feel right at the moment. So, I called her several days ago to make a second date and she said Thursday or Friday would work but she couldnt give me a firm time and date and said she would get back to me. She did the same thing on the first date but ended up giving me an answer after 2 days when I pushed her for an answer. The problem for me is that I am thinking about her a bit too much even though I try not to and try to instead focus on other women. This is starting to turn into a oneitis situation (I know the signs and symptoms lol). When I called her to setup the second date the day before christmas, I left a voicemail and she responded within 20 min. I texted her again on Christmas day and wished her a merry christmas. We texted back and forth a few times and she ended by saying "Ill let u know my plans this week soon ;)))). So, obviously it is still early in the week and this is premature, so this is a hypothetical situation:

So, I think my options are the following:

(a) If she doesnt text me back by tomorrow\Wednesday (since she mentioned going out Thursday or Friday), then perhaps I should text her tomorrow and ask what her decision is or text her and just vaguely ask how she's doing?

(b) Since I'm kinda developing oneitis for this chick and this never ends up well for me, I'm pondering whether I should just never text her unless she texts me back. After all, I have already told her I'd like to see her again and she has already agreed to it. If she doesn't text back, it would be a sign of low interest level and combined with my oneitis for her, it would best to cut things off after a single date and minimize my losses.

What do you guys think of those options?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Websterdic

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you made your move. you should wait.
if shes; interested she would text. I wouldn't text her pushing for an answer like you said. You might be coming off as needy.
 

gari

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I agree that I should have asserted myself but it's one of those things where you're trying to wind up the conversation as soon as possible and you become satisfied with any YES answer even the vague answers. She is pretty busy right now because she's moving from one city to another on Friday so it wasn't the best time to ask her out. So, she does actually have an excuse as to why she may be unsure of what will work for her. Though I might just be making excuses. Oneitis has got to be worst disease ;) I'd easily take getting kicked in the nuts lol
 

window

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If she had any inkling of interest do you think she would risk "letting you know"...dont make excuses for her just watch her actions.
 

3countriesPlan

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I went out with an HB 9 part time model recently and it went great however she flaked the next time we had plans so I just sent a ping text and put the ball in her court. If she isn't willing to work a bit to hang out with you then she is not worth a spot in your HB pipeline.
 

“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”

You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.

I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.

Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.

These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.

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gari

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3countriesPlan said:
I went out with an HB 9 part time model recently and it went great however she flaked the next time we had plans so I just sent a ping text and put the ball in her court. If she isn't willing to work a bit to hang out with you then she is not worth a spot in your HB pipeline.
I think I agree that I won't be texting her until she texts me back. I put the ball in her court and I should let her make her move.

What happened to your HB9 model when you put it back in her court?
 

kidsmooves

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come on bro you've been here since '05, shouldn't be asking questions like this. Should be writing the new bible or something man
 

gari

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I logged into this website a few times in 2005. I havent been using it since 2005. Please stop posting stupid **** on message boards. If you have nothing useful to add, please feel free to get your hands off your keyboard.
 

Pimp-sicle

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No need to call text again unless you want to look desperate and needy.

Your def right that your catching one-itis and its coming on strong because its already clouding your better judgment.

Furthermore, she mentioned on your recent text exchange she would let you know about which day she is available, so use it as a test to see if she carries through. If she does, great you know she has a decent interest in you. If she doesn't, then its fair to assume her interest is low or on life support.

Going a step further, this situation you have is set up to fail. Whether she comes on this 2nd date with you or not simply because you are chasing HARD, which kills the challenge aspect, mystery and intrigue for her.

Just think of how your already thinking about her a lot and how you are wondering if she likes you as you read this??? That's exactly the way you want HER to feel when she thinks about you, esp this early in the game.


Step 1: Don't contact her again until she lets you know her availability

Step 2: If she does contact you, set up a time and date; go out and have fun. Relax, tease her, flirt with her and keep the good vibes going.

Step 3: Don't feel the urgency to text her that you had a great time, or thanking her for coming out. Disappear! More guys need to get into the habit of creating and elevating attraction on the date; then letting your absence increase her attraction for you. Too many guys don't do very well on the date, then think text/phone w-horing will spark interest.... it simply doesn't work that way.


Take a step back and breathe; don't have such strong expectations. See if she gets back to you and then you can figure out your next move.








PIMP
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Jariel

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It sounds like you've been making all the moves so far, so now it's time to pull back and let her come to you.

It may be too late as you may have already shown her that you're too keen, which is a sure way to send these chicks running. But you have not cut your ties or done anything stupid yet, so there's still a chance you can pull this off.

The problem I see is one that I've dealt with many times. You've set a date you want to meet her and in your mind it's become almost like a yes or no situation. If she doesn't agree to meet you by this date you see that as a rejection, even though it doesn't mean that at all and you really don't need to set a timeframe. Perhaps she's not ready to meet yet, but give her a couple of weeks and you might be able to pick up where you left off.

I've asked girls out many times only to be postponed for a few weeks to a month, then ended up getting together and clicking really well. Even a couple of my ex girlfriends did this.

My advice is to lay low for a while and let her come to you. And if/when she does, don't push the next date. She knows the offer is there and she will either accept or suggest an alternative.

Good luck man.
 

Jariel

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Pimp-sicle said:
Just think of how your already thinking about her a lot and how you are wondering if she likes you as you read this??? That's exactly the way you want HER to feel when she thinks about you, esp this early in the game.
Bingo!

We guys have all felt this and we know exactly how it works, yet for some reason we don't always use it to our advantage.
 

LuisGarcia10

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My two cents worth.

Try to avoid directly asking girls out, especially if they're giving conflicting IOI.

I met a girl on Saturday, made out a lot, then sent her this text,

"im going to be out the country for a few days from tomorrow, so opportunities to spill a drink on your sexy self will be limited, however I will be in the hole wall from 7pm and you're more than welcome to join me, otherwise have a great new year, and thanks again for a good night on Saturday, it was fun."

Before anyone asks i had spilt a drink on her wen I met her!

But she can't reject me, she might not show,so the worst case is I have to had a beer by myself, which is no biggie, but it's putting no wait or pressure, kinda like saying whether you come or not I'll enjoy myself. We'll see how it pans out, but it's a tactic im going to use more of. And the thing is it's true, I want a beer and I'm going to enjoy it regardless of who I'm with at the time.
 

gari

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So far I've held off on calling or texting her. Obviously the fact that I asked her out for the end of the week and it's already Wednesday is a clearly bad sign. Perhaps she will get back to me later in a week or so and I'll debate whether I should allow her a second date if that happens.

And just for clarification, I never tried to kiss her. She didnt "refuse" a kiss. I dont know where that came from.
 
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