DonS said:
The real question here is what insecurity are you carrying that has you considering doing what you know is wrong? Pook says trust your gut? Your gut is wrong. Relationships and the management of them is womens work. You are a man; you hunt, kill, conquer, grow, achieve, protect, build, etc.. You don't take a 4 month piece of tail and "tell her how you feel." You let a girl know how you feel by how much of your time and resources she is getting as compared to all the other women and activities competing for you.
Let me tell you a story. I was dating this chick for about 6 months and she gave me a line about blah blah she likes guys who are comfortable enough with themselves to open up to a girl, and like a fvcking idiot, I told her over the phone "I really like you and want to take this relationship to the next level." She immediately blurted out "I KNEW IT! I KNEW YOU WERE CRAZY ABOUT ME!" Then guess what: she LBJF'd me the next week and started sleeping with this bad boy thug a couple days later.
Bro, it is a TRAP! Do not fall for it. She must chase! She must win you over! She must compete with other women! She must never really know where she stands with you! All these things is what causes a woman to feel gut-level attraction. As long as she has to wonder, she has to feel attraction. Let the cat out of the bag and her interest level will implode and your next post here will be asking how to get you ex back or treatments for depression.
Think about it: she's into you, she's giving you compliments and sex, she's on her best behavior for you, she's not flaking, she's fun to be with, why in the Hell would you want to ruin all that? And if you go and tell her you want to be in a relationship, she will quickly turn off the sex and turn on the *****y, disrespectful, flaky behavior followed by the LJBFs speech.
I believe that one incident is not and cannot be representative of everyone's experiences.
And I add, that that chick was just some dumb immature, (blank) who doesnt deserve a good man.
The
problem lied with
that female,
not the sharing of feelings itself.
I will also state that relationships dont thrive on their own. They can only grow and improve with the energy that the two partners contribute to it.
There are differences between the 'attraction/seduction' stage and the relationship maintenance stage.
You dont stop doing the things that attracted her in the first place, but you also have to know that women want security and safety. And being too aloof and distant, and unattached does not make it a safe and secure and loving place for your woman.
I think we need to reinvestigate the true motivation in not affirming that Yes, we do want a woman in our life, and NO I dont think its weak to want that. We've created a society that values being deceptive, manipulative, disingenuous, and ego driven, self image control freaks. And we still want others to love and respect us anyway, despite our not being genuine, and truly kind hearted people to one another. THAT is crazy.
We have placed more value in self preservation and we're still not happy. We fear love and avoid it and associate it with pain and suffering and we're still not happy. We live in a world where continually affirm that being open and vulnerable to your partner is all doom and gloom and imminent death.
Thats the society and culture we've created, and in a backlash, an overly romantic Disneyworld counter cutlure was created and that destoryed most of Men's masculinity in one fell swoop....
Of course we dont know where to go or who to talk to, or WHO to TRUST!
Look at whats happened to us.
Its not weak to show Love to your woman, and show her you value her and appreciate her.
You just have to know how to do in a strong, confident and masculine manner....
IN addition, part of being a Masculine man who hunts, and kills, is to provide
safety and security to his woman and family.
Women thrive on feeling safe and secure. They are wired to look for and always expect that. Not doing that gives off the sense that one is not as mature and masculine, attractive to a LSE woman, perhaps, but to a HSE who feels she deserves a Great Man? No.
The HSE woman expects classy . masculine and mature behavior from men and men who DONT display that dont even appear on their radar. They become trivial and irrelevant.
(I will say that MOST of the tactics offered are for men who prefer to be viewed as a
guy that just 'fvcks her' rather than relationship material.
Obviously if you couldnt care less about eventually being in an LTR then this wouldnt apply to you.
So bascially you can say there are two kinds of men for this , the guy who just is there to fvck her, and the Mature Masculine Man. Can you be a MMM who just wants to fvck her? Yes, actually you can.
But not by playing games and being manipulative and deceptive. Therein lies the difference. The MMM can always choose to be or not be in an LTR, he calls his shots. He recognizes what he feels he deserves too.
Its up to you to decide what kind of Man you want to be, and what kind of lifestyle you want. Decide with accurate thinking. And dont let yourself be swayed by the herd mentality. This also goes for reltionships and marriage. Dont get into an LTR because "
She wants to", or marriage "because
she wants it." What about YOU? what do YOU want?
David Deangelo also talks about how women may view you, as either the Lover or the Provider. His "lover" is just a guy who wants to date many women and does not want an LTR, but hes not a 'player'. He just isnt looking for marriage or commitment at that time. Which is fine. The "Provider" in Deangelo's definition is a very poor class of man, one who HAS to BUY affection from women, and offers Provisions, good, favors, and services, because he lacks raw masculinity to offer her. So he offers her 'things', not himself. Since he lacks confidence in himself to believe that he can be attractive enough by himself without having to offer a certain lifestyle. I call that guy the "
Provisioner" though.
I consider the mature masculine man, one who is a Hunter, Warrior, Lover, and Provider. But these are my terms I like to use.)
How long does that playing 'hard to get' have to go on?
If you love her and want her in your life, then being aloof and distant arent always the best choices to make for the woman you love.
You cant be obsessed with her, and suffocate her with your clinginess. But if youre a mature, masculine man, this issue will never come up for you.
Please remember, that AWs with low self esteem are the ones who crave validation and attention, not genuine mature love from you. The techniques that are often presented here are for attracting THOSE kinds of Females.
Women who really want love will most often never turn away your love.
Women who want validation and attention wont know how to deal with your love. Which kind of partner do YOU want in your life?
a mature, classy woman who appreciates you? Or some dumb (blank) who wants you to chase her around like a puppy dog?
That is the emotional/mental makeup of the majority of women that a lot of this advice is geared to. Not for healthy high self esteem, self respecting women who want a GREAT MAN in their life.
If all you ever see in your city are big dumps of sh*t , then you might assume that in every city there will be big piles of sh*t there too.
Think clearly about what you are making yourself BELIEVE.
Think clearly about what kind of beliefs you are subscribing to.
A relationship is what you make it.
If you check out, and make it all about her doing all the work , youre setting a double standard which eventually will leave her feeling lost, lonely, alone, and resentful to you for not showing up.
Why should she be with a guy who doesnt show up?
Do you
have to sacrifice WHO you ARE for her?
NEVER.
The choice is yours to decide to be with a compatible woman who accepts you for WHO you are, rather than just some chick who happens to be there.
This is the mentality often of a lot of guys who have this fear of relationships and intimacy. Instead at looking at their own choices and how they conduct themselves, they place this external emphasis and blame others for their lack of awarenes and shrewdness.
