Should I break up with this chick? Urgent Advise Needed!

[LondonTowers]

So I've been seeing this chick for a few months and last weekend she was well off. She confided early on she was on antidepressants and I kept a mental note but as she had been good to me, I didn't next.

Anyway, last weekend she was really off and on the first night she wasn't up for sex, she said she is feeling low and her meds might need upping dose. I told her I was going to see my mates next day as I didn't want to be a chump with my d*ick in my hand for a second night but she was more affectionate the next day and so I stayed over and we banged.

After the weekend I just didn't feel right about it.. Can a sudden low just put her off sex or is she just losing interest? I can't see her this weekend as I have a family party but she text me yesterday evening to see if I could meet for a drink on Thursday after work, I agreed and she then asked me for a photo of us two as she hasn't got any.

I am now thinking she is going to break things off.. Am I being paranoid or should I just pull the trigger and break up first? She is a HB8.5, good background, got money and we get on well. The only real downer is the depression thing and she claims the meds make her unable to feel as much and I do find her quite aloof at times.

Hard to say if it's the meds or interest level. I'm 75% feeling to meet her tomorrow and just break up with her in the first conversation. Input?

 

[RangerMIke]

I'm going to surprise many here and say you should give her a chance. I'm dating one girl now that is on AD meds and she's fvcking great. People like this can not help it, it's a chemical imbalance that can be fixed with drugs. As long as they are taking the meds they are fine.

I'm not saying to marry her, but dating her is just fine. Sounds like you like her... stick it out, she'll like you better for the fact that you know this about her and are loyal anyway. If she's otherwise a good girl, and it sounds like she it, just stick it out. Have fun.

 

[jurry]

Do what you feel brother you know the situation better than us. Personally, a chick on meds who cant "feel as much" is not a good sign. I dont buy the whole chemical imbalance shtick big pharma tries to push.

 

[Technics]

We can't tell you whether to end things with this girl or not. You know the situation best and you need to make a decision based on the standards you hold in a relationship.

 

[El Payaso]

She asked to meet for drinks and for a photo of the two of you. I don't see the part where she implied she is going to break up with you.

Honestly, I think what you need to pay more attention to is your inner game. You're not mentally strong right now.

 

[Infern0]

Not just yet but you should be on red alert. "Hot girls with depression" can be a red flag of something worse lurking underneath. Just be on your toes

 

[LondonTowers]

I think I've had one foot out since the beginning as this depression thing got my alarms ringing. So since last weekends episode I've felt ready to next. My instincts say she is about to show her crazy side or she is gonna pre-empt me and eject first as I have projected that I will walk if she starts to not meet my needs.

She has done a couple power plays, one was her telling me how this guy at work likes her and the other was her ex from 5 years ago called her recently saying he missed her but he is married and lives in another country. She seemed to enjoy trying to get me jealous but I brushed it off with humour.

My instincts don't feel right about this sudden dip in affection.. but then she has been forthright that the depression/meds have had an effect on her.

I just would rather doing the dumping if that is where it is heading but I would be willing to give it a month to workout what really is going on.

 

[yungballa]

I just got out of a situation like this, except the girl was head over heels in love with me, but I no longer wanted the relationship and I just wanted to be single and focus on myself and my life so I broke up with her. This was not too long ago.

Seeing as I was in a similar situation, all I can tell you is:

If you truly like being with her, then sh1t, I say date her. But if she aint nothing but a bag of trouble, then I suggest you NEXT.

But after explaining her I suggest you also be on the lookout for lack of interest if you think its worth it to stay with her.

 

[Infern0]

I think I've had one foot out since the beginning as this depression thing got my alarms ringing. So since last weekends episode I've felt ready to next. My instincts say she is about to show her crazy side or she is gonna pre-empt me and eject first as I have projected that I will walk if she starts to not meet my needs.

She has done a couple power plays, one was her telling me how this guy at work likes her and the other was her ex from 5 years ago called her recently saying he missed her but he is married and lives in another country. She seemed to enjoy trying to get me jealous but I brushed it off with humour.

My instincts don't feel right about this sudden dip in affection.. but then she has been forthright that the depression/meds have had an effect on her.

I just would rather doing the dumping if that is where it is heading but I would be willing to give it a month to workout what really is going on.

Yeah not that I want to throw the bpd diagnosis around but there are certain tells. "Depression" is one, particularly if there is no apparent cause for it. Power plays are another, causing jealousy and sudden drop in interest even if your game is 100%.

Not saying she is bpd but as a veteran of these things I've seen three red flags there which are all things my ex did that healthy people don't do, and what came in the following months was insane.

No reason to eject just yet but dial down your investment because this sounds like potential devaluation, and if it is that there's nothing you can do except get the fark out.

Hopefully she's legit though and it is just depression, wait and see

 

[Thorninmyside]

Many depression meds lower sex drive. She is probably feeling it honestly even if intellectually she knows she should be banging more.

 

[Zion]

I'm sorry but why are you dating this girl?

 

[GS750]

I think I've had one foot out since the beginning as this depression thing got my alarms ringing. So since last weekends episode I've felt ready to next. My instincts say she is about to show her crazy side or she is gonna pre-empt me and eject first as I have projected that I will walk if she starts to not meet my needs.

She has done a couple power plays, one was her telling me how this guy at work likes her and the other was her ex from 5 years ago called her recently saying he missed her but he is married and lives in another country. She seemed to enjoy trying to get me jealous but I brushed it off with humour.

My instincts don't feel right about this sudden dip in affection.. but then she has been forthright that the depression/meds have had an effect on her.

I just would rather doing the dumping if that is where it is heading but I would be willing to give it a month to workout what really is going on.

Power plays...yeah I've dealt with that BS before. She's bringing up other guys to make herself sound desirable and to let you know that you've got competition. I laughed it off too because I saw right through it, but it's an attempt to manipulate you. Red flag.

 

[Cremasta]

You know alcohol is a depressant, right?

I think if I was ever dating a girl who was on anti-depressants, I wouldn't be meeting up with her for drinks, I'd be trying to find other, more active things to do, she might be more fun.

 

[Lozboss]

London,

I dated a bird who had depression (got it a month after a big operation about 8 months into the relationship)

Ruined our intimacy, sucked the life from me as I had to constantly support her and her behaviour was wacky.

Pull the trigger, learn from my mistake.

 

[LondonTowers]

UPDATE:

So I met up with her to how it felt on the night. I was a little cold as I felt I might ditch her if she was still acting up. She obviously picked up on this and started being a lot more affectionate and the night turned a little random as a guy gave us free tickets to a concert as he couldn't go, so just went with the flow and ended back at hers after and banged.

Still she just has this blocked off nature where the connection seems to go hot and cold. She called me today and was a lot more chatty but mentioned she had a dream where I dumped her and she was sad. Said she felt bad for me having to put up with her lows.

CONCLUSION:

I've emotionally checked out and gonna keep her around for a bit for sex. But I went out the other night and pulled a fine chick straight off that bat. So just gonna keep on gaming other girls and let this plate drop when the time comes.

 

[backbeat]

yea man if the feelin aint there u gotta give it up i think u jus want the sex but nothin serious. drop it now man.

 

[SgtSplacker]

Depression meds tend to lower the libido. I'd walk..

 

[DaddyLongShanks]

UPDATE:

So I met up with her to how it felt on the night. I was a little cold as I felt I might ditch her if she was still acting up. She obviously picked up on this and started being a lot more affectionate and the night turned a little random as a guy gave us free tickets to a concert as he couldn't go, so just went with the flow and ended back at hers after and banged.

Still she just has this blocked off nature where the connection seems to go hot and cold. She called me today and was a lot more chatty but mentioned she had a dream where I dumped her and she was sad. Said she felt bad for me having to put up with her lows.

CONCLUSION:

I've emotionally checked out and gonna keep her around for a bit for sex. But I went out the other night and pulled a fine chick straight off that bat. So just gonna keep on gaming other girls and let this plate drop when the time comes.

She's probably doing this because she has and is excersizing other options.

I would do the same thing to her that she is likely going to do to you. Backburner her and keep her for a FWB.