should i bother responding or just be silent? which will mind fvck her more?

[pete101]

ok i met what i thought was an interested girl off pof.. but turns out she's just an attention seeker looking to be taken out and spoiled.. i sensed the red flags already on the first date when she told me about guys she's met off pof who she's just 'friends' with and goes for drink with sometimes.. basically she's leading them on as me.

it's hard for me to tell on a first date, we went out had a drink chatted a bit, i felt up her leg abit but she kept moving away when i tried to kiss her.. something fishy. said goodbye no kiss on the lips.

met for second date just now, drinks again, she got upset cos i took her to some local place (which wasn't that bad for that matter and any girl who was genuinely interested wouldn't care what you do) this told me immediately she might be one of those who is just looking to be taken out but give nothing in return. i took her a ****tail bar in town instead and got one drink only $10 not a big deal but it felt like supplicating.. she should if she was genuinely interested go anywhere with me and not care.. i even said that, girls in the past haven't complained cos they just want to spend time with me.

0whenever i made flirty sexually suggestive things we could do together she dismissed it or laughed it off.. i knew soemthing wasnt right. i called her out on it saying she should want me to kiss her all over just as much as i want to.. it's a mutual thing, if we're not moving forward we're moving backwards.. she said well what if we're staying still and i said that's just as bad as moving backwards as it should always move forwards.

anyway i made some joke about what lingerie she wears and that she should show me some time on the drive home, she laughed it off saying that won't happen.. and i said.. i dont mean now in future, and why not? she should want to show me just as much as i want to see it.. then repeated the moving forward bit.

safe to say we didn't kiss on the lips and i've deleted her number.

i feel annoyed being led on by b1tches like this cos you cant always tell immediately after one meet off the internet so you have to give it a second date and no kiss, then time to leave, it's not worth it jumping through hoops to get physical.

the question is.. should i bother responding to her?

i know she'll text me a BS how are you message.. which i'll ignore.. then she might follow up with something about me thinking she's easy etc.. tryna turn it round on me etc frame grab etc.. or suspect cos im not gona get easy sex from her i've kicked.. she may call me out on that.. it's not that it's gona be hard.. it's not that it's not worth it as there's no point dealing with a lukewarm chick off there.

is it still best to just ignore and ghost?

im the type of person who likes to call people out on their sh1t esp if they're presuming wrong about what i'm thinking.. she may get the idea i was only after sex and will call me out on that.. should i even bother replying?

 

[Maximus Rex]

Answer This Question

What do you think you should do and state your reason as to why?

 

[Willard]

I like this "I am seeing someone now, please don't contact me anymore" I would have just gone no contact forever, but that is even better.

 

[nismo-4]

I like this "I am seeing someone now, please don't contact me anymore" I would have just gone no contact forever, but that is even better.

I like this, gotta use it!

OP, regardless, your princess is in another castle. All she wants is attention and you as a friend (beta orbiter).

When things don't progress in your favor, start withdrawing. She already has anyway. Just erase and replace.

Case closed.

 

[Pardner]

Withdrawing attention won't help if she doesn't like you.

 

[RedZone]

^ it's true withdrawing attention works best if the target has interest, but it could still be useful and leave her wondering.

 

[pete101]

i've decided to go no contact forever or use the line above. honestly dont care, if she's dismissing my suggestions to get naked during flirtation she's controlling the frame, no point jumping through hoops to get brownie points.

 

[DonGorgon]

silence is the most powerful form of negative communication its the loudest way to sway you don't care at all... females use hit very effectively cause they usually have 10000 other caption that they are taking too and Fing while they are being quiet with you

 

[Harry Wilmington]

It's funny to me how the responses to your post thus far all place blame for her lack of interest in sleeping with you on being a POF attention wh0re. When, in reality, YOU are the one that messed up.

Yeah, I said it. Allow me to go through what you wrote and point some things out to you...

it's hard for me to tell on a first date, we went out had a drink chatted a bit, i felt up her leg abit but she kept moving away when i tried to kiss her.. something fishy. said goodbye no kiss on the lips.

For starters: meeting up for drinks as a first date is probably one of the WORST first date ideas a guy can do. It literally screams to a girl "I'M HOPING TO SCORE WITH YOU ON THIS FIRST MEETING!" Not that some women wouldn't be down to do that, but you shouldn't be that obvious with it. Secondly, you shouldn't be so focused on getting sex with her on that first date - if anything, you shouldn't even be trying to touch her until she touches YOU first. That way, you can stand out from all the other guys she's dated that tried to feel her up and score with her on first dates that she's no longer interested in... yet, at the same time, you'll get her hamster wheel running about WHY you didn't come at her as aggressively, which will make her think it's something SHE did, which will make her wonder if you like her, which will cause her to WANT to do something physical on the next date for her ego's own validation. Duh!

met for second date just now, drinks again, she got upset cos i took her to some local place (which wasn't that bad for that matter and any girl who was genuinely interested wouldn't care what you do) this told me immediately she might be one of those who is just looking to be taken out but give nothing in return. i took her a ****tail bar in town instead and got one drink only $10 not a big deal but it felt like supplicating.. she should if she was genuinely interested go anywhere with me and not care.. i even said that, girls in the past haven't complained cos they just want to spend time with me.

Soooo, to recap: for the first date you made a plan to meet up for drinks... and then for the second date... you made a plan to meet up for drinks AGAIN?!? And now you're wondering why she didn't wanna give you any play?? Dude, your first few dates with a woman are meant to WOW her, to make her feel like you're really putting in an effort to impress her and show her you like her. It's not about the money you're spending, it's about showing her that you're not just in this to get some @$$ and that you actually care for her on some level. All your dates did is say to her "I wanna get you really drunk so I can trick you into sleeping with me."

Look, guy, I've done the online dating thing, and I haven't spent a lot of money on these chicks doing it. But even then... most of my first dates are coffee shop meet ups, and my second dates are usually things that don't cost a lot of money to go to - comedy/improv clubs, plays that cost less than $10 a person, hikesf, etc... it's not about the money, it's about creating an EXPERIENCE for women to make them feel like you're TRYING. YOU, my friend, haven'e done that. You're saying if she was genuinely interested in you she'd go anywhere with you... but in her head, if YOU were genuinely interested in HER for more than sex you would attempt to REALLY plan out a good time for her.

whenever i made flirty sexually suggestive things we could do together she dismissed it or laughed it off.. i knew soemthing wasnt right. i called her out on it saying she should want me to kiss her all over just as much as i want to.. it's a mutual thing, if we're not moving forward we're moving backwards.. she said well what if we're staying still and i said that's just as bad as moving backwards as it should always move forwards. anyway i made some joke about what lingerie she wears and that she should show me some time on the drive home, she laughed it off saying that won't happen.. and i said.. i dont mean now in future, and why not? she should want to show me just as much as i want to see it.. then repeated the moving forward bit.

I get it, you're trying to sound ****y and funny, yet somewhat serious about her wanting you. But why? All you've done is try to get her drunk - TWICE - without a REAL date behind any of your outings. You've tried to feel her up and bed her without really getting to know her; you made her feel uncomfortable with sex talk (from a guy she hasn't even known that long); you're being overly-aggressive by mentioning physical things she should be wanting to do with you (which is no bueno - you can't negotiate your way into sleeping with a woman, it has to be of HER choice unless you're planning to drug her); and, worst of all, you're talking about this in a SERIOUS manner, which only makes it seem more desperate.

im the type of person who likes to call people out on their sh1t esp if they're presuming wrong about what i'm thinking.. she may get the idea i was only after sex and will call me out on that.. should i even bother replying?

But you had no reason to call her out on anything! And, based on what you told us here, you WERE after just sex - and if not, you didn't do a good job of NOT showing it. You may think you're coming across in a certain way, but based on her reaction to what you were doing/saying, you may want to go back and analyze what it is you're doing that's causing her (and probably some of the other girls you tried dating that SEEMED to be okay with these actions but aren't currently dating you either) to react to you the way you are.

 

[VladPatton]

I would of told her I made arrangements to the most expensive restaurant in town and told her to get dressed up, hair, makeup, all that. Then flake 30 mins before with the excuse that I'm just forgot and am tired LOL. That'll learn her!

 

[Partizan]

For starters: meeting up for drinks as a first date is probably one of the WORST first date ideas a guy can do. It literally screams to a girl "I'M HOPING TO SCORE WITH YOU ON THIS FIRST MEETING!" .

Wow, what can I say. I REALLY disagree here. Other than that, good stuff.