Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Should I Bother Or Not

trverb

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Alright I know I'll be getting abuse for asking this but....
I went on a date with this girl a while back she SEEMED very interested.
Action date (coffee then walk in park play on swings) Great fun!

Things took a turn for the worst at the end. Had the most awkward conversation with her about how things are between us.(jeezuz I didn't see that coming, we've been out seeing each other on nights out but this is the first date) Im pretty sure I handled it well(didn't reveal how I felt played the mysterious card, she told me there was a vibe between us:moon: ).

Had a nagging feeling it didn't go well..no kiss + she seemed distant and cold

I text her a week later to set up another date. she told me she is busy with college work and couldn't go out (Alright I know she had college work but you can still go out or at least reschedule) I replied telling her I was busy for the next while also and would see if I could fit her in some other time..
She replied again some generic msg bout how hard her college work is.
Safe to say I didn't get back to her, I know better.

Anyway 2 month later, last friday. I ran into her in a bar, she was out with our mutual friends. Had the usual catch up crap didn't really give her the same attention I'd normally give just treated her like a guy friend. She started making excuses again bout why she couldnt go out before(I didnt bring it up she did) She told me she hasn't been out since the last time we went out.

During her rambling she asked me what I was doing these days. I told her "Well next week I'll be around the city running errands". She said "Maybe we could meet next week". I just told her with a smile "Maybe, We'll see" This kind of threw her off a little. Conversation fizzled out and we started talking to different people.

The girl had bad body language all night (constant crossed arms)with everyone. With me she would mess my hair up, face me during group conversations, pick up my dropped cigarettes, etc. A mate of mine who tried it on with her earlier during the night told me to go for her, I relented (I got burned by this girl once I'm no fool)

I just generally showed very little interest the entire night and chatted up other girls.

My question is should I bother with this girl or not
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Faded Image

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Hell no, in fact when she said "Maybe we could meet next week" I would have just walked off laughing.

Had the most awkward conversation with her about how things are between us
:nono: Regardless of who initiated that conversation those types of conversations are the kiss of death and should be avoided at all cost, especially during the premature stages of a relationship.


Don't waist anymore time and energy trying to make a stumped tree grow.

From what I've read, you handled the latter portion in decent fashion by not going total AFC in a situations as tempting as you were in.

B out
 

trverb

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well.. yes and no. I had a mild oneitis on her a while back before finding this site. Now I realize my folly. Shes a decent girl all my friends are kicking me for not doing anything and they are trying their leg but I doubt they will get anywhere.. The only thing holding me back is the fact that she just seems so hot and cold bout the whole thing shes quite a reserved girl. Constantly sending mixed signals. & afraid to just let go and be herself. Or.........maybe its just my ego
 

MotownMack

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Stop wasting your time.

There was another thread about flaking, and I swear that this is 90% of the reason for it. People actively pursuing women with little or no interest.

I've been in your situation many times, and rarely has it ever turned itself around for the better. When a woman has decided she isn't interested, just cut them loose. And it doesn't sound like this is an ambiguous situation. See is pretty clear about her lack of interest.

Ironically, about the only thing I can think of that might work, is ignoring her, ironically. But if her IL is low, it's doubtful.

Find another chick.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Mavrick

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I think you've done the right thing. She had her opportunity, and she blew it. She may even call once she sees that. So, don't pursue, but be pleasant towards her.

If she's not making it up to you, then it's time to move on. You could have let her know that it's her turn to ask you out and
 

Entropy4

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I wouldn't pursue her, but I wouldn't turn her down either. That is, of course, if you're into her.

She seems to be making an effort to get together with you. To deny her while being into her would be stupid. Girls have 1,000 reasons to flake on you. So again, I'd say if she's putting in the effort to hang out with you (which it seems she is), then let it happen.
 
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