should i bother calling now?

[drift king]

well this young HB i met up with a 2nd time and we got talking.. I couldn't sense attraction but she did kino me a couple times.. i really went off on tangents saying some of the most stupidest stuff complimenting her and insulting her at the same time.

then it came to the kiss.. i asked her 'so are you a good kisser?' she started laughing so i slowly escalated kino touching her neck quizzing her on where she likes to be kissed.. then i go for the neck kiss.. (she said i didn't get her favorite spot.) then i go for the lips.. but i couldn't shut up i kept chatting in between when we're suppose to be smooching and she told me off for it.. i even criticised her kissing technique.. (i was so anxious at the time i couldn't shut up) she wouldn't kiss properly.. it's almost as if she was reluctant letting me kiss her lips no tongue.. as soon as i started talking about how some girls start going in tongue first she took it as a criticism.. i knew i was losing her.

anyway when i dropped her off i got the impression she couldn't wait to get out the car.. i go to her 'wait' i grabbed her by the arm and brought her closer to kiss me.. she kissed me again on the lips a few times but nothing more than minor pecks. i told her to have a good weekend and i'd call her next week.

i think i blew it, if i don't bother calling and just see if she contacts me is that the best policy?

right now i feel as if she was testing to see if we're compatible kissing wise and i failed. i assume she was moderately interested.. if i just dont contact her is that likley to make her more interested now?

 

[slaog]

You're overthinking things. She might not like kissing with tongues thats all.

Why did you keep chatting in between the kisses? Just kiss her FFS. Because you're making such a big deal out of it she'll think your a child who hasn't kissed before.

Should you call back... why not. Best not to call straight away though.

 

[drift king]

it's cos i'm still an afc.. when i get nervous i start talking it masks the anxiety and desperation and i can't stop.

i think i ruined it by criticising her.. she seemed reluctant there after.. and when i let her off she couldn't be happier to get out of there.

what i mean is.. if i don't call will this prey on her mind at all?

i.e. she was attracted to me at a point.. now is probably more 60/40 if i dont contact her do you think she'd contact me just to see why?

cos i thought it might make her question herself.. like what did she do that made me not call?

 

[tsmith2334]

i.e. she was attracted to me at a point.. now is probably more 60/40 if i dont contact her do you think she'd contact me just to see why?

cos i thought it might make her question herself.. like what did she do that made me not call?

Blah blah blah. You can try to figure out the odds all day. She might have lost interest. Maybe not. Who knows.

Just believe in yourself and play it cool. Time heals all wounds. She probably would be open to seeing you again if you contact her again in 4-7 days and give off vibes that the date was success.

Learn from your mistakes and do not harp on them or let it affect your confidence.

 

[drift king]

ok cool, but what i mean is.. say i decide not to call, would in these circumstances her question herself why i haven't?

the way i left her she appeared a little annoyed and i'm assuming lost interest.

i'm gona go for the not calling route (cos i know that i can always call to break that pact) all i wanna know is what literally would she be thinking.. and would not calling aid me in anyway?

 

[slaog]

She could lose interest if you leave it too long. Nobody can say for sure when is the best time so you'll have to use your own judgment.

 

[tsmith2334]

ok cool, but what i mean is.. say i decide not to call, would in these circumstances her question herself why i haven't?

the way i left her she appeared a little annoyed and i'm assuming lost interest.

i'm gona go for the not calling route (cos i know that i can always call to break that pact) all i wanna know is what literally would she be thinking.. and would not calling aid me in anyway?

Wait a few days and then eventually call. Especially if she doesn't initiate any kind of contact first. Even if she sent you a message thanking you for the date, that's a good sign. If you don't hear from her at all, slowly but surely contact her again.

She may question herself on why you haven't called, it depends how self conscious she is and how much she likes you. I'm sure it will cross her mind. Give her a few days but not enough time to forget about you / spin her own plates.

When you do talk to her, just tell her your a little busy but you wanted to say hey and hang out again on (pick a day). You can tell how good your chances are from here.

If she says:

Sure = Very Interested
No but counter offers = Interested
Probably = Somewhat interested
Maybe = Little interest
No, no counter offer= Not interested

 

[Aragon034]

Wait a few days and then eventually call. Especially if she doesn't initiate any kind of contact first. Even if she sent you a message thanking you for the date, that's a good sign. If you don't hear from her at all, slowly but surely contact her again.

She may question herself on why you haven't called, it depends how self conscious she is and how much she likes you. I'm sure it will cross her mind. Give her a few days but not enough time to forget about you / spin her own plates.

When you do talk to her, just tell her your a little busy but you wanted to say hey and hang out again on (pick a day). You can tell how good your chances are from here.

If she says:

Sure = Very Interested
No but counter offers = Interested
Probably = Somewhat interested
Maybe = Little interest
No, no counter offer= Not interested

Do this ^

Aragon Approved. *Stamps*

 

[drift king]

Wait a few days and then eventually call. Especially if she doesn't initiate any kind of contact first. Even if she sent you a message thanking you for the date, that's a good sign. If you don't hear from her at all, slowly but surely contact her again.

She may question herself on why you haven't called, it depends how self conscious she is and how much she likes you. I'm sure it will cross her mind. Give her a few days but not enough time to forget about you / spin her own plates.

When you do talk to her, just tell her your a little busy but you wanted to say hey and hang out again on (pick a day). You can tell how good your chances are from here.

If she says:

Sure = Very Interested
No but counter offers = Interested
Probably = Somewhat interested
Maybe = Little interest
No, no counter offer= Not interested

good advice thanks. she seems like the insecure type cos she's still quite young. 18.

the thing is i feel on my own judgement how i left it was not good.. the facts don't lie.. she wanted to get out of the car quite quickly and seemed to be in a rush to get back in cos she had an early class the next morning.

when i grabbed her for a good night kiss she kissed me and seemed ok about it but i almost feel as if she did it just to not cause drama and it's easier for her to do it that way.. when i said 'HEY' as she was rushing to leave out the car i noticed a distinct annoyance in her face.. all i said was 'have a good weekend and i'll call you next week' she did not look too happy.. that expression i've seen before and it equals = lost interest.

i'm a dumba$$ i did all the hard work kino escalated and had the kiss close but i couldn't shut up at the critical moment.. so dumb. now she seems turned off.. i mean who wants to be with someone who critcises her.

i already told her i'd call her next week, so should i wait just over 7 days to make her question herself a bit?

 

[drift king]

also do you think it's worthwhile me apologising for criticising her kissing?

she seemed really annoyed by it.. and i know it was dumb.. i know apologising may just make her remember the incident.. but cos it pretty much capped the night off i feel like i should admit my mistake to her.

i realise now outside when she was cold and i brought her in i should have kissed her there. i dont know what i was afraid of.

 

[drift king]

someone said i might want to think of sending a text today apologising and explaining i was anxious and nervous and couldn't stop talking and recognise it was inconsiderate.

would sending a message like this so soon in the aftermath be a bad idea and i'd look afc/clingy/desperate?

 

[drift king]

Always follow your gut. You sensed she turned off, and from what you said you did, I can see why. I'd let her cook for a week before I tried again. She'll probably freak out since you hadn't called her and contact you herself after 3 days.

thanks this is just what i needed to hear. although my gut told me she didn't want anything to with me anymore hence her rush to get out of the car not even looking to give me a kiss good night. (i like to think she was just concerned about having to get up in 5 hours for class) but it felt like more so she couldn't wait to see the back of me. although she did turn round when i grabbed her back in and then she smiled and kissed me on lips (tho maybe she just did that to prevent any drama cos once she's out of my arms reach she can just ignore me)

do you really think she'd freak out by not calling?

i mean you've read what i did above so why would she even want to see me anymore after my stupidity?

i did say 'wait! have a good weekend and i'll call you next week' she did not look pleased when i told her to wait cos it looked like she was in a rush.

would not calling next week like i said i would really prey on her mind?

i know for a fact all her friends know about me now and what i did.. which is cool, but i'd like to be preying on her mind for the next week although i feel like she's in the mindset that she'd be happy to see the back of me. if i do call her the week after how would you suggest i let the phone call flow after my indiscretion?

 

[tsmith2334]

do you really think she'd freak out by not calling?

All depends my friend...

If she's really into you... yes
If she's not so sure of herself... yes
If she only has date you recently... yes

If she doesn't care about you... no
If she is full of herself and arrogant... no
If a lot of guys chase her... no

 

[drift king]

All depends my friend...

If she's really into you... yes
If she's not so sure of herself... yes
If she only has date you recently... yes

If she doesn't care about you... no
If she is full of herself and arrogant... no
If a lot of guys chase her... no

rats.. that's not good.. what if it's a mix of she WAS interested in me (until i did the stupid thing of criticising her kissing technique and generally giving a running commentary with everything which made her annoyed) and she has lot of guys chasing her?

 

[drift king]

Always follow your gut. You sensed she turned off, and from what you said you did, I can see why. I'd let her cook for a week before I tried again. She'll probably freak out since you hadn't called her and contact you herself after 3 days.

it's been 3 days now she still hasn't contacted me. also bear in mind i told her specifically 'have a good weekend i'll give you a call next week'

if she takes that literally how long would it be before she wonders why i haven't called?

cos 'technically' it could be until sunday this week before i call (9 days after our last meet)

my original plan is to call next tuesday (12 days after our last meet) but is there a huge possibility she isn't even thinking about me anymore and some other guy she's bound to meet in school is making significant gains?

you mentioned wait 7 days.. so that she doesn't have time to meet someone else?

 

[pua1989]

dude just ****in call her on wednesday stop bein a gash