Should I be sarging on a day to day basis?

[theapprentice]

Should I be sarging on a day to day basis on my college campus. I have found that when I want to sarge I need to be in a positive mood and have positive thoughts running through my head, but on the average I am usually negative and down about myself.

The first step would be to control my attiude right to be a more positive person?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

The first step would be to control my attiude right to be a more positive person?

Yep.

 

[theapprentice]

hmm..

I also have another huge problem and that's looking at others around me and comparing my life and situation with others. I will expect SO much from myself that I crash and burn when I don't get there.

I think that I want to be the BEST at everything to BANG 10,000 girls in a month (hehe exageration more like 20-30) but I'm scared to even apporach girls in the easiest of situations. Or I will see a buff dude and immediately feel like a failure and want to be 250lb gorrilla and untill I am that muscle machine I wont be satisfied.

Satisfaction and postive mindset= Positive attitude.

The satisfaction part is difficult when all my goals are so sky high. I mean life seems pointless if I am not the best and better than everyone else. But then again that feeling could be resulting from a low self esteem. I want to be the BEST in everything, and I wont feel happy with life unless I am not the best.

But then I get frustrated very quickly and dont keep the determination to stick with my plans. For example working out, after the first week I just give up and feel like a failure.

Part of the problem is that Im not setting realistic goals for myself, and I get frustrated.

Now the hardest thing to do is to find satisfaction in life without having everything you want.

When your satsified and positive you can be more confident and feel better about everything.

Which means take more risk.

How can I find satisfaction when I look skinny and I havent had a gf in over a year or any sexual contact in a yr?

Even though I know I am working on it.

 

[theapprentice]

also

Also where do you draw the line in being confident with what comes to your mind first and analyzing what you said to find out whether or not its good or wussy.

For example if you say something and your confident and you don't think about what others are going to say to you or think about you; you just put it out there.

Or the other extreme were you pick and choose every word and your so nervous that you trip over your words because your not sure if what your saying is "right" or worng or will elict a positive response.

I mean I might feel confident about saying something thats very AFC'ish to a girl but I might be very confident that it was the right think to say. Turns out it wasn't or I didnt get the response that I wanted or didnt get her to laugh.

How can I continue to be confident about my thoughts and words when I make mistakes?

 

[Natch]

Dude ,
What youre discussing are your "rules for being okay".
EG I'm okay if I am a 250lb gorrilla like Natch or if I bang 30 girls a month.

Think for a moment , if your baby brither came to you and said , dude what has to happen for me ot be an ok guy ? Think about how youd answer him.

Youd probably say "Dude youre an okay guy if you trat people around you well , you're doing something meaningful with your life that you respect , and youre wehere you want to be socially , and if not , youre moving towards it ina fun safe healthy way".

JMHO , YMMV

 

[theapprentice]

hmmm

For me to be an okay guy I need alot more. I guess its this feeling that gets in the way of me being able to generate good feelings about myself.

Anybody have any insight to my above questions?

 

[blinkwatt]

You want to learn to value yourself more? DO IT! Give yourself something to value.

Go get a haircut,use mouthwash and brush your teeth,go shave and take a shower. Then from there head to the mall and go get some clothes that you like no matter what the price,get three or four outfits. Get a new pair of shoes that nice and classic,ie K Swiss Classic. Now go get some NICE colognes off of eBay,Chrome,Sexual or Ignition will do the job.

Now you should immediately notice changes in how people look at your after that. Now work on your body posture,back striaght,chin up and chest out. Walk like you should be,A PROUD INDIVIDUAL!

Always remember,be positive,smile and meet new people on a daily basis.

Now if you are happy with yourself and want more,HIT THE GYM! You dont have to be a 250 lb. gorilla. just gain some muscle. Once you gain that you will see how easy it is to gain muscle and want more,its a cycle. Now if you want pointers at the gym I can help you there,and with a diet and so on. TRUST ME ITS EASY,you just have to have some dedication.

Good Luck!

 

[Distant Light]

Should I be sarging on a day to day basis on my college campus. I have found that when I want to sarge I need to be in a positive mood and have positive thoughts running through my head, but on the average I am usually negative and down about myself.

The first step would be to control my attiude right to be a more positive person?

You don't have to sarge everyday if you don't choose too but so longs you are atleast going out. The more your out sarging the faster you will improve. You don't need a positive attitude to go out, you just have to have the mindset of "No matter what I'm going out and doing it" you could have a cold and feeling week but if you have that commitment to go out no matter what you will go sarging while you have that cold.

As you're out there talking and having fun you will notice you get into a more positive state, kind of like if you were feeling like **** because you failed an important test and your all depressed on the bus. Then all of a sudden a hb10 comes out of no where and starts showing some interest in you or even comes on the bus touching you thinking you're some guys she used to talk to. Your not going to be depressed anymore because now you got this hb10 by you and you're having a good time.

What you should be doing is start little and make short term goals, maybe one night you decide to approach 5 women in 1 day and just want to get you're opener out, then you slowly progress.

 

[theapprentice]

hmm..

Should I have a repitore of openers for diffrent situations this way if I am caught off guard and I can't think of anything I always have something to fall back on?

Its tough if your feeling vulnerable and weak and still go out and approach. The worst part of making goals for apporaching is my attitude toward failure and disapointment. Everytime I want to go sarging I back out in fear of failing to even get up to the plate. In other words If I promise myself to talk to 10 girls and I dont then that night I feel sh*ty.


Also how can I be confident in myself when I know that I am afraid to talk to girls. How can I expect to feel good about myself when I know that I havent had a lay in a year?

It a nasty cycle. For example I said something that wasnt witty and the girls didnt laugh or looked at me like i was stupid. I naturally said to myself "Your so stupid, why did you just say that?"

How do I find the justification or the right to fail and make mistakes but still keep telling my self things like "I am the great catch, I rock, I am so sexy"

When the world outside tells me diffrently. My whole life I have been told negative things, being bullied and picked on in school. Its hard to change your perception about yourself after being told you suck for so long. But thats the easy part, changing your thoughts, believing them is hard.

If you fail how can I keep up confident thought?