Should I be friends with this girl?

[AkiraIsGod]

I'm a shy guy, *****, or beta person whatever you guys call people who are shy. This one girl back in Community College gave me all signs of interest in other words the "green light" to approach her to ask out, etc. I way to shy to talk to her that I made her wait over a year, yes she still had interest but like I said i'm a *****. Ever since then she started acting cold and distant and at times avoiding me. I found her on social media and we chatted couple of times, other times ignore my messages. I took the risk and told her why I never ask her because I'm shy and told her to hangout last summer. She rejected me with the bf line. Yes, I know a ***** way to ask a chick out but had no other choice left and rather say something instead of living with regrets. I knew she would reject because she started acting distant and will see me with a neutral expression when we make eye contact.

I transfer to a University to finish up my major last semester. Little did I know she also attends here too and now been acting weird with me I guess cause of the rejection, she would act like I don't exist and other times just look straight ahead. There's been few times that she glances at me or look at me for a few seconds and continue walking with her head down. This semester, again I see her around, she notice me and walk pass me with smile, she seem happy. At this point I'm tired of not doing anything. I always see each new semester and feel like just start talking to her at this point to stop this awkwardness and be comfortable with each other instead acting strange. I don't if that's a great idea that's why I'm asking cause I don't want to be in the friendzone. Friends tell me to just talk to her but not to the point of being friends. Is weird cause I can talk to average and attractive girls fine and not act stupid but I act nervous and shy when a girl I like reciprocate interest back that's when I begin to be shy. Can you guys help me out.

 

[Dan Bautista]

Ask her out in person and evaluate her interest level. If she is interested, go on from there. If she is not interested, let her be and find someone else. Why do you care about the negative outcome of the situation? Whether she friend-zones you or not after you asking her out, you're still not going to be with her at the end of the week.

Cold showers, from experience and observation, work satisfactorily at augmenting energy levels. Breathing exercises (belly breathing, for example) and stretching before also work charms at keeping your head on your shoulders and confident.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Ask her out in person and evaluate her interest level. If she is interested, go on from there. If she is not interested, let her be and find someone else. Why do you care about the negative outcome of the situation? Whether she friend-zones you or not after you asking her out, you're still not going to be with her at the end of the week.

Cold showers, from experience and observation, work satisfactorily at augmenting energy levels. Breathing exercises (belly breathing, for example) and stretching before also work charms at keeping your head on your shoulders and confident.

How long of a cold shower and is there a procedure?

 

[Dan Bautista]

How long of a cold shower and is there a procedure?

A ten to fifteen minute cold shower would do.

I have a routine where I shower after returning home at 5 in the afternoon — everyday. Beyond question, my energy levels are elevated and I feel unstoppable and relieved if there was anything bothering me during the day. Should definitely help you feel better and confident before approaching a woman.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

A ten to fifteen minute cold shower would do.

I have a routine where I shower after returning home at 5 in the afternoon — everyday. Beyond question, my energy levels are elevated and I feel unstoppable and relieved if there was anything bothering me during the day. Should definitely help you feel better and confident before approaching a woman.

How cold? Would it be benefitial to do this upon waking to raise energy and alertness?

 

[Dan Bautista]

How cold? Would it be benefitial to do this upon waking to raise energy and alertness?

Not sure about the exact temperature but it's fairly cold — coldest that comes out of the tap for me. Certainly would be beneficial even after waking up. The reason why I prefer afternoons is because after that point I don't go out and I like to get all the germs accumulated from the whole day on my body out while in my home.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Not sure about the exact temperature but it's fairly cold — coldest that comes out of the tap for me. Certainly would be beneficial even after waking up. The reason why I prefer afternoons is because after that point I don't go out and I like to get all the germs accumulated from the whole day on my body out while in my home.

So you get under there, bear and grit the pain and take a real shower? Cold showers are painful...

 

[Dan Bautista]

So you get under there, bear and grit the pain and take a real shower? Cold showers are painful...

Yeah I guess you'll have to grit the pain out for a couple of days before you get used to it.

I had a mild headache the first day I tried this out but it became easier the following days.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Yeah I guess you'll have to grit the pain out for a couple of days before you get used to it.

I had a mild headache the first day I tried this out but it became easier the following days.

Describe the energy boost? I imagine it kicks in your metabolism and possibly some adrenaline?

 

[Dan Bautista]

Describe the energy boost? I imagine it kicks in your metabolism and possibly some adrenaline?

Yeah, somewhere along those lines.

Thought this article would be able to help you make sense of cold showers better than I would so here you go.
http://www.artofmanliness.com/2010/...a-shot-of-cold-water-for-health-and-vitality/

Something else that I wanted to point out is that it has been argued that cold showers may simply be a placebo effect. Nevertheless, it is working for me so this is just a mere suggestion being presented from my experience. Furthermore, at least it builds up your willpower right? (Having the ability to just take a hot shower instead but refusing to do so.)

 

[AkiraIsGod]

Ask her out in person and evaluate her interest level. If she is interested, go on from there. If she is not interested, let her be and find someone else. Why do you care about the negative outcome of the situation? Whether she friend-zones you or not after you asking her out, you're still not going to be with her at the end of the week.

Cold showers, from experience and observation, work satisfactorily at augmenting energy levels. Breathing exercises (belly breathing, for example) and stretching before also work charms at keeping your head on your shoulders and confident.

Many guys on here say move on and don't talk to her and don't be friends. That's why I'm confuse. Everyone tells you something different which is why I ask what to do. Others tell me she is playing hard to get and has small interest but since I made her wait for a year to ask her out. Others say I never had a chance because the signs of interest where not there but I disagree

 

[dude99]

I'm a shy guy, *****, or beta person whatever you guys call people who are shy. This one girl back in Community College gave me all signs of interest in other words the "green light" to approach her to ask out, etc. I way to shy to talk to her that I made her wait over a year, yes she still had interest but like I said i'm a *****. Ever since then she started acting cold and distant and at times avoiding me. I found her on social media and we chatted couple of times, other times ignore my messages. I took the risk and told her why I never ask her because I'm shy and told her to hangout last summer. She rejected me with the bf line. Yes, I know a ***** way to ask a chick out but had no other choice left and rather say something instead of living with regrets. I knew she would reject because she started acting distant and will see me with a neutral expression when we make eye contact.

I transfer to a University to finish up my major last semester. Little did I know she also attends here too and now been acting weird with me I guess cause of the rejection, she would act like I don't exist and other times just look straight ahead. There's been few times that she glances at me or look at me for a few seconds and continue walking with her head down. This semester, again I see her around, she notice me and walk pass me with smile, she seem happy. At this point I'm tired of not doing anything. I always see each new semester and feel like just start talking to her at this point to stop this awkwardness and be comfortable with each other instead acting strange. I don't if that's a great idea that's why I'm asking cause I don't want to be in the friendzone. Friends tell me to just talk to her but not to the point of being friends. Is weird cause I can talk to average and attractive girls fine and not act stupid but I act nervous and shy when a girl I like reciprocate interest back that's when I begin to be shy. Can you guys help me out.

Acting like you don't exist and cold towards you? Why would you want to be friends with someone who treats you poorly.

It's no mistake you blew your chance with her, but in her arrogance now she has it in her head she can treat you like crap and you will put up with it.

Sadly what she is showing you now is her true colours. When women doesn't care abour you walking away they will treat you how they really feel abour you. Looks like her true colours are pretty bad.


Why reward bad behaviour with your friendship ?

 

[Dan Bautista]

Many guys on here say move on and don't talk to her and don't be friends. That's why I'm confuse. Everyone tells you something different which is why I ask what to do. Others tell me she is playing hard to get and has small interest but since I made her wait for a year to ask her out. Others say I never had a chance because the signs of interest where not there but I disagree

You'll have everyone dishing out their own opinions on the topic but the end fact is that unless you ask her out yourself, you'll never figure out her interest level in you, regardless of how high her interest in you in the past was because interest levels fluctuate with time. Ask her out and go on from there. If she's interested that's fine and if she isn't that's still fine.

If she shoots you down and you want to be friends with her, that's fine, not something I would recommend you to do, though, as it'll give you a hard time moving on because you'll continue experiencing the confusion and whatnot you're experience right now for as long as you stay in touch.

 

[AkiraIsGod]

You'll have everyone dishing out their own opinions on the topic but the end fact is that unless you ask her out yourself, you'll never figure out her interest level in you, regardless of how high her interest in you in the past was because interest levels fluctuate with time. Ask her out and go on from there. If she's interested that's fine and if she isn't that's still fine.

If she shoots you down and you want to be friends with her, that's fine, not something I would recommend you to do, though, as it'll give you a hard time moving on because you'll continue experiencing the confusion and whatnot you're experience right now for as long as you stay in touch.

So in order to end this ask her out in person than text. I feel just being neutral and I i see her just small talk nothing more

 

[Dan Bautista]

So in order to end this ask her out in person than text. I feel just being neutral and I i see her just small talk nothing more

You're wasting far too much time on a girl whom you don't even know is interested in you or not. So, you want to stop doing that and to know whether she's worth investing your time into, ask her out in person. If she shoots you down, not worth your time. If she doesn't, you know what to do from there.

You definitely don't want to be "neutral" with this girl, from my observation.

 

[AkiraIsGod]

I wouldn't day interest because we havent had a chat in person at the very least attraction the reason why I say that cause of body language. Sure is not always reliable but the way she acted makes me assume she at least found me attractive and wanted to talk first.We used to prolonged/gaze to each other eyes every time, she will look at me and give me a smirk, glances, look from afar. One time she was talking to a friend at halls and she saw me, we hold contact for a while and turns quickly other time again long eye contact then look at the floor. So i think it was attraction at least. Why not stay neutral with her? Is it bad?

 

[Dan Bautista]

I wouldn't day interest because we havent had a chat in person at the very least attraction the reason why I say that cause of body language. Sure is not always reliable but the way she acted makes me assume she at least found me attractive and wanted to talk first.We used to prolonged/gaze to each other eyes every time, she will look at me and give me a smirk, glances, look from afar. One time she was talking to a friend at halls and she saw me, we hold contact for a while and turns quickly other time again long eye contact then look at the floor. So i think it was attraction at least. Why not stay neutral with her? Is it bad?

Are you interested in her or not? You would not want to stay "neutral" with a woman you are attracted towards. There is nothing wrong, however, with staying "neutral" if getting into her pants is not your objective.

You need to stop assuming and start assessing. What you are observing as signs of interest may not even be so. Stop posting any further questions in regards to this girl — you do not know whether she is worth investing your time into or not — until you become sure that she is interested, which you can know by asking her out. What's the point in you wasting all this time on the forums, asking questions, if, at the end, you find out that she is not even interested in you and you were just making all this up in your head?

 

[AkiraIsGod]

Yeah I guess you are right it might be in all in my head. So at this point you suggest just ask her out and finish this? If not I guess friends or nothing at all let it be. You think those signs are hit or miss I don't know that happen way to often I can't see it as her being friendly. The girls I ask out were act in ng like are with body language and have been successful the reason why I choke with this chick cause she is gorgeous

 

[Dan Bautista]

Yeah I guess you are right it might be in all in my head. So at this point you suggest just ask her out and finish this? If not I guess friends or nothing at all let it be. You think those signs are hit or miss I don't know that happen way to often I can't see it as her being friendly. The girls I ask out were act in ng like are with body language and have been successful the reason why I choke with this chick cause she is gorgeous

ASK HER OUT. If you already have, move on. Read the DJ Bible.

 

[AkiraIsGod]

ASK HER OUT.

I will try to ask her out when I see her around campus. If she rejects oh well just be polite with her and not ignore her