"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Should I ask this girl out to eat tonight or wait a little longer?

justin11

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We're both juniors in high school. Whenever we're at any social events/parties on the weekends, we talk all the time, and I've hooked up with her a couple times. However, we don't really see each other much or talk at all in school. She does like me, and has asked one of my friends before if he knew how I felt about her.Last weekend, when we were isolated at a party, she started bring up the "what is this," "what are we doing," "what are we" type of stuff. She kept saying she was confused, not sure how i felt about her, blah blah blah. The end result of the conversation was that I told her I wasn't going to ask her to be my girlfriend/start an actual relationship then, but if we started talking more and she brought it up in a couple of weeks I might have a different answer. On the monday following that weekend, during school I texted her saying "let's go outside and chill on the bleachers." (In my school, we have study hall/lunch periods where we can do whatever, including go outside where there wouldn't be many people around). She responds a few min later saying she couldn't because she had to make-up a math test during her lunch period so she didn't get to each lunch yet.

On Wednesday, we had a half-day, and since I had football practice, I had a couple hours to burn after school. On Tuesday night, I texted her, "Lunch tmrw after school? I have practice so I'm gonna have an hour or two." She responded later by saying "Ugh I can't all the [kids from her middle school] are going to visit [her middle school] tomorrow we've been planning it for a few weeks :/." I responded by just saying that it was whatever.

So we haven't really talked much because I don't see her often in school. Should I ask her to go hang out tonight? or should I wait because the last two times I tried to hang out with her she declined.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Vice

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Do NOT have a girl come out to eat with you dude. It sends all the wrong messages. Take her out skateboarding or something free and casual instead. Avoid spending money.
 

justin11

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ok, but should I invite her to hang out somewhere or just wait until she initiates?
 

justin11

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I called her today to hang out, got voicemail. Wasn't around my phone, but she tried calling and got my voicemail. She texted me saying she got voicemail and asking what's up. I called her back, asked her what she was doing that day. She said she was out, so I said to cancel whatever she was doing, and I'd pick her up in a couple hours after I was done hanging out with friends. She said she wants to talk to me, and that we should've made plans sooner. She said she probably couldn't but that she'd let me know in an hour and a half. An hour and half later, she called, but again I wasn't next to my cell phone. She texted me saying "sorry I can't today." Like I stated in the original post, she's said she wants to talk more and potentially start a relationship. However, the past three times I texted her to do something, she couldn't for one reason or another. While her reasons have been pretty legit for the most part, she hasn't made an effort to reschedule or set up another time. Am I doing something wrong here?
 
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