Should I ask her to be my gf? Help please!

[DreamerBoy45]

So I've met this wonderful girl online last week, and starting on Monday have been talking to her everyday online since then. I've even manged to meet her in person, take her out over the weekend on a couple dates, and brought her over to my dorm for a make out session, but here's the kicker....

We met on campus and now it's winter break and she went home which is over 2 hours away from me. I've been talking to her over the net since being home but she has told me she's hasn't been out yet cuz her friends aren't back, making me think when her friends are back she might not talk to me anymore. Plus she hasn't mentioned anything about starting a relationship with me.

I really like her a lot and I wanna be her boyfriend but I'm not sure if I should ask now. I'm afraid she might meet someone back home, so I've even though about driving out to meet her, and would ask her then to be my gf. I've read that i should wait for her to ask me? I dunno what to do and time is slipping away, any advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

[Cashew]

Time is not slipping away.

She won't meet anyone back home.

Don't drive out just to see her.

Don't ask her to be your girlfriend.

Or you her boyfriend or any of that nonsense.

Winter break isn't forever, you'll both be back at school before long.

Just be patient and don't worry.

When you both get back just go out and keep having fun and being physical. You don't need to label your relationship, just enjoy it for what it is. Calling her your girlfriend isn't a magical happiness potion. It's fun, let it be fun and if she wants it to be serious you can make it serious if you want that. Why mess with something that's good?

 

[DreamerBoy45]

Thanks a lot cashew, i guess im just overly anxious cuz it's been a while since i had anyone special in my life. Thanks for the help, I will be patient.

 

[slickaz]

man! im startin to get sick of this constant, should i ask her to be my gf sh!t...
everyother dude on here got the same problem,
met a great girl
shes so awesome
im gonna lose her
she has to be my gf right now

cmon man!!!
take it slow..
let her be the woman..
if she wants a pvssy, she can put a mirror between her legs..

just calm down and play your role..
let her miss you..
absense makes the heart grow fonder..

so get out and enjoy your winter break, meet a couple more girls.
and you'll see suddenly she's not the GREATEST girl in the world..
every girl has smtn to like about..be it pretty face, nice smile, character or s3x drive..
and then when she comes back you can start seeing her again..

she'll respect you for it..
girls have a need to play a girls role in a relationship...otherwise shes confused and loses the plot, gets bored and bounce!

so be a man!! go play some sport, drink beer and holla at fly girls..

 

[nismo-4]

Way 2 go Slickaz and Cashew!:rockon:

To the OP: You can count all of your girlfriends on one hand, huh? You're not the only one.

Seriously, there's no way of asking her right now and getting her. I'm assuming you don't look like Brad Pitt and you're not rich and famous. If you had those qualities, I would say ask her. Without them, that's either a way to scare her off, or to land yo ass in the friendzone.

But, for the time being, you'll just have to keep playing the field.

 

[DreamerBoy45]

Thanks for the advice gents! I'll do my best to stay busy when i get back home, playin the game.

 

[46and2aheadofme]

Time is not slipping away.

She won't meet anyone back home.

Don't drive out just to see her.

Don't ask her to be your girlfriend.

Or you her boyfriend or any of that nonsense.

Winter break isn't forever, you'll both be back at school before long.

Just be patient and don't worry.

When you both get back just go out and keep having fun and being physical. You don't need to label your relationship, just enjoy it for what it is. Calling her your girlfriend isn't a magical happiness potion. It's fun, let it be fun and if she wants it to be serious you can make it serious if you want that. Why mess with something that's good?

Not to play Devil's advocate, but I had a similar situation (not completely) and using the advice above screwed me over (or rather I never got screwed because of it).

I was seeing this girl for a couple of weeks right before summer vacation and it was great (we had made out/ dry humped on a couple of occasions), I wanted her to be my gf but I never asked her because I felt like it wasn't necessary. Instead, I just assumed it and waited for her to let me know if she wanted a relationship or not. Also, when summer finally rolled around I figured it would be pointless to ask her to be my gf because we wouldn't be able to see eachother that much over the break. Instead my strategy was to keep seeing her periodically over summer and just let it happen naturally.

Well, she started seeing someone she met back home (without mentioning it to me) and when I wasn't around as much as this guy she automatically became more attached to him. Long story short she chooses the new guy over me, and claims that "If I had explicitly stated my intentions earlier, she wouldn't have even given the guy a chance to flirt with her". She had assumed I was seeing other people when I wasn't. Whether she was full of sh*t or not is up to speculation, but that does not take away from the fact that not stating my intentions was the less dominant strategy.

Now your situation is different for 2 reasons: 1.) you haven't been seeing her as long as I had been seeing the chick I was with. and 2.) Winter break isn't nearly as long as summer break. For this reason I think you should give it time like others have been saying. Asking her over aim would be worst case scenario.

However, my lesson is that you use what you learn on this site as guideline, not as verbatim.

 

[Jakes21]

I waited like 3 months before i asked her to be my gf.we had great fun,etc and i could see she wanted it.i think it all depends on the situation your in with the girl.

 

[Warrior74]

I stopped reading at "So I've met this wonderful girl online last week". So my anwser is NO.

A week and she's already wonderful? Man, please! You don't even know her. She could be a professional Kawksmoker for all you know. get this girl off the pedestal. I'm gonna go read the rest of your post to see how far you have symped out.

Talking to her everyday online. Red flag.

Worrying about her while she's gone. Red flag.

Thinking of going to see her over a short break. Red flag.

She's got you and she knows it. You are not a challenge. You are slipping into oneitis and trying to cover it up with words like "special someone" . Don't front bro.

I'm not saying you should do a 180 and be a dyck. What I am saying is...where is your life? Where are your plates? You are putting all your eggs in this one basket. You are scared because you know you have no other options and that you've pinned all of your hopes and happiness on this one girl who you just freakin met.

You need to meet other women over the winter break and go have fun with your friends. You need to stay in touch with her, but don't get all clingy.

 

[DonGorgon]

Time is not slipping away.

She won't meet anyone back home.

Don't drive out just to see her.

Don't ask her to be your girlfriend.

Or you her boyfriend or any of that nonsense.

Winter break isn't forever, you'll both be back at school before long.

Just be patient and don't worry.

When you both get back just go out and keep having fun and being physical. You don't need to label your relationship, just enjoy it for what it is. Calling her your girlfriend isn't a magical happiness potion. It's fun, let it be fun and if she wants it to be serious you can make it serious if you want that. Why mess with something that's good?

Perfect advice... Oh and dont act too interested till after you F.. BE aloof make her do the wondering..

 

[DonGorgon]

....and claims that "If I had explicitly stated my intentions earlier, she wouldn't have even given the guy a chance to flirt with her". .

BS^^^ if she liked him enough she would F him wether you were her man not..

Boyfriend simply means you are now responsible for meeting her emotional needs..

 

[DJDamage]

Boyfriend simply means you are now responsible for meeting her emotional needs..

Boyfriend title means that she can now officialy fvck a certain guy and not be looked down upon by society as opposed to hooking up with random guys (whom she might do in secret anyway).

Women have AFC's for emotional needs.

DreamerBoy45 you have developed oneitis and it ain't healthy. You have only known this girl for less then a week and you are already willing to give your left testicle to be with her. This girl is nothing more then a prospect right now. Which means that you need to have other prospect's lined up as well (meaning going after other women). If you only got one then that prospect could also be courted by other guys and it might not be you she ends up choosing for the long haul.

Also a woman will find you more attractive when she sees you are being chased by other women.

 

[brian123]

You ALWAYS let the girl bring this up. If she really likes you, then she will ask you.

 

[oakraiderz2]

You ALWAYS let the girl bring this up. If she really likes you, then she will ask you.

Im sick of hearing this sh*t. I waited 6 months before making my relationship exclusive with my girl, and i know she had NO intentions of making it exclusive. After i did she told me she was getting worried and thought we wouldnt be together. If girls should bring this up then they should propose too, but thats not the case.

 

[Warrior74]

Im sick of hearing this sh*t. I waited 6 months before making my relationship exclusive with my girl, and i know she had NO intentions of making it exclusive. After i did she told me she was getting worried and thought we wouldnt be together. If girls should bring this up then they should propose too, but thats not the case.

I agree. My last girlfriend, I remember I introduced her to someone as my girlfriend. She looked at me and said "I'm your girlfriend?" I said "yah. aren't you?" and that was that.

That being said, that was after 5 months of exclusive dating. Not after one week of meeting a 'wonderful girl'.

 

[oakraiderz2]

I agree. My last girlfriend, I remember I introduced her to someone as my girlfriend. She looked at me and said "I'm your girlfriend?" I said "yah. aren't you?" and that was that.

That being said, that was after 5 months of exclusive dating. Not after one week of meeting a 'wonderful girl'.

Yea man, its too bad theres retards giving other retards advice. Im just waiting for someone to justify a girl asking to be exclusive, yet its the mans job to propose. Seeing people who dont understand how this sh*t works makes me grateful for knowing all that i know.

 

[bigjohnson]

.... but thats not the case.

Well they will certainly want to discuss the M word, more as time goes by. They don't really propose usually (Although Jolene Blalock did apparently) but they will be the ones who push the relationship that way.

To the OP:

If she's going out with you and you two are doing what you want when you ask her to do it, what more do you want? Just relax.

 

[handle]

Suggesting being exclusive

oops

 

[MisterMcGee]

Don't ask, just assume and let it be known you think so. Like the "this is my gf, ___" introduction.

 

[Juan_Man]

Taking it slow is not always the best strategy. If two people like each other, why can't they enter a relationship? It's not like you can't end things later if the relationship does not work out. Being a challenge is okay if you think you might be acting clingy. But being a challenge is NOT good if it's a mask to cover up a fear of rejection. Because at the end of the day, you are still alone. If you don't let her know how you feel, then another guy in the vicinity (who you may not even know about) might beat you to the punch. But if you want to pursue a relationship with this girl, you have to at least make sure that the feeling is mutual. The best way to gauge her interest is to spend time doing things on your own and with your friends and see if she makes an effort to get together with you (not just a phone call to chat).

Nothing is an exact science. Every girl is different. To be successful with women, you have to assess your particular situation with the girl and make the next best decision from there. If you want her to be your girlfriend, you should do something that makes you intentions clear without simply asking her (which is more of an elementary school / junior high school thing). Try taking her somewhere nice and romantic, doesn't have to be expensive, but where you both have to dress nicely for each other. But do it AFTER the break, when you can actually see her in person. Make your intentions known to her face-to-face. That's what being a man is really about. Good luck!