"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Should I ask her to be in a relationship with me?

Cowboy1015

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So I've been dating this girl for almost 2 months now. And I've been seeing her frequently lately at least twice a week. And she's been to my place a couple of times. I know she really likes me and we already had sex. But I feel she have some inhibitions.

She thinks we're moving to fast after that sex but it's been 3 months since I've met her. I think she's really special and would be open for a relationship with her.

What would you do if you're in my shoes? Should I talk to her and find out her inhibitions? Or do nothing and just wait for her to take initiative about relationship talk?
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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shizz702

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NEVER ask a girl to be your girlfriend or to be exclusive or any of the like. Let her initiate it! As long as she is consistently spending time with you that is all the affirmation you need, and you should just assume she likes you and wants to be with you.
 

Iceberg

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Let women take initiative to ask about "relationship status".

I don't want to sound too Sosuave-ish, but you're the man. You think logically. And when you think logically, you realize that relationship titles mean nothing. If the girl likes you, she'll stay with you no matter what you call it. And if she dislikes you and wants to cheat, she'll do it whether you call her "F**k buddy" "girlfriend" or "wife".

Titles mean nothing. Actions mean everything. If she's treating you right, then a relationship title isn't gonna change that. Women seek that kind of emotional validation. Men just evaluate how the woman is treating them.
 

LoneWolf

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i'm in your shoes. seeing a girl often, about 2 months and everything is great. sex and all... but i don't plan on talking about relationship stuff with her. just seems like the girls job. i actually already assume we are in a relationship anyway. we do all the bf/gf stuff in public and privately. holding hands, hugging, you name it. slept over each others houses, met most of family and friends. just go with the flow.


Rollo Tomassi said:

^ nice tips.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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runner83

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shizz702 said:
NEVER ask a girl to be your girlfriend or to be exclusive or any of the like. Let her initiate it! As long as she is consistently spending time with you that is all the affirmation you need, and you should just assume she likes you and wants to be with you.
^ This.
 

Htienvu

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Social_Leper said:
Anti dump had an excellent analogy which I read in the Book of Pook a while back.




When I was an insecure AFC whenever I was lucky enough (I thought it was luck at the time) to find a girl who was into me I'd always pull the serious relationship talks first. You don't need a crystal ball to know how they all ended. Crashed and burned every time. Now I see my friends doing the same thing. I try to explain but they seldom listen and predictably the girl ends up either cheating on them, leaving them later or ending things as soon as they bring it up.
Thanks for bringing that quote back, it's one of my favorites and it's so true.
 

pipe007

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good replies, Ive had several relationships, and in all of them, it was always the girl who at some point would mention "so what are we?" "where is this relationship going?" or "we can't continue to do this if we are not in an exclusive relationship."

I usually waited whatever it took to have them say those words, which I used as my cue that they are ready for a relationship. So I would make a decision as well.

with my current Gf, she is 20, was a virgin, and was raised the old school way, she was actually waiting for me to say it first, and i decided why not? she is treating me right.

and we been together since then, so I guess it also depends on the girl.
 

LoneWolf

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you know sometimes i also find when ur having jokes with one another like i did the other night after sex. we were lying in bed and i flicked something that was on her hair. she thought i took her hair lol.. so i joked and said "yep i took your hair. im gonna put it in my wallet and tell my friends "hey, check out my gf" and whip the hair out." and she laughed. things like that just make it already a relationship. sometimes you just know ur already bf/gf anyway without asking.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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