Should I apologise to my ex because I left her coldly?

[Fela Kuti]

Hi guys,

It's been 8 months since I broke up with my ex. I broke up with her when we were getting serious, talking about marriage etc, and her love for me was high. But I guess it was a case of fizzled out feelings and I thought it was best to end it. It surely hurt her a lot and I overheard from a friend that she hated me for it. Today we're friends and talk occasionally in really friendly manner, there's no trace of dislike in her tones at all. But our mutual friend said to me that she is still bitter about the whole breakup thing. How she was left coldly when her love was in the high. I feel like a bad person now and would like to get this off my chest by asking about her feelings and maybe apologizing but I'm not sure if that's a good idea as it could open old wounds or even make her feelings come back. Any advice? Thank you in advance.

 

[DonJuanit0]

There is a word in Greek dictionary: ψυχοφθόρο, which means: "something that hurts the soul". Talking about things that have finished and as you say, not in the best way, it's something like this! There is nothing to win here but only hurt! Remember the past, feelings, looks like an apology for what you did (which there is nothing to be apologized for). I sipmly wouldn't talk about it!

 

[Aaron B]

the answer to "should i apologize to my ex" is always no

 

[Iceberg]

the answer to "should i apologize to my ex" is always no

Haha. Seriously.

"Closure" is a female necessity. For men, things end when they end. So, I don't see the benefit. Breakups happen. That's life. And if you're still talking occasionally, it's not like she totally hates you.

So why bother? If it helps you to "vent" or get it off your chest, then go for it...I guess. But apologizing neither hurts nor helps you. The breakup happened. It's over. Life goes on.

 

[Fela Kuti]

Yeah, I probably won't apologize after all as it might seem tacky, but maybe I'll ask her if she has some unresolved questions about the abrupt breakup, just to get it off my chest.

 

[Desdinova]

"Closure" is a female necessity.

"Closure" is a female term for "I'm all fvcked up emotionally. I want him back and I can't have him, so I need him to fix this."

Find me a woman who has successfully achieved "closure". I'll bet you can't.