"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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should i accept weeknight date?

tracy1122

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ive been chatting w someone online now for several weeks now and we were supposed tp go out on a first date last mon night. ( i prefered a friday) he called me that day to say he had a lot of work to do and wanted to reschedule(he does work alot) anyways, i mentioned the next fri night and he said he already had plans but could do the following mon night.( ha never seems to be avilable for a date on the weekend) I know we havnt even had a date yet but i was wondering if i need to be concerned since i would assume his weekends are filled up with other women. while it is supposed to be acceptable to date other people when you are not serious, if i do start dating this guy, and he does not ask me out on weekend dates, at what point do i bring it up? im in my late twentys and i guess i dont want to waste my time .thanks
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Halo

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Nobody wants to appear as if they have nothing to do on a weekend night, so they'll often make something up if necessary. It's something often mentioned on here, some guys are even adamant that first dates must be on weeknights only.

It seems to be having the desired effect on you, since you are already wondering if his weekend time is spent with other women. If you two start dating regularly I imagine you will have no difficulty spending weekend time with him.
 
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Some guys do it for the reason halo stated. It can also be for a quicker or cheaper date or leaves the weekend opened to chase women to hook-up more dates during the week. Or just maybe he prefers a weeknight outing.
 

NatureGuy

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I'd say at this point there's not much
to be analyzing. I would think any night
would be OK for an initial meeting.
Wait till you meet him before you get concerned about contingencies, like
whether or not he would ask you out on weekends, what you would do in that
case, and so on....
 

JustDoItAlways

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Reinforcement

Female Tracy's first post should reinforce for you guys that initial dates should be on weeknights only.

She just hooked-up with this guy online, hasn't even met him yet, and now she is already "concerned" about the other women he is doing on the week-end.

She just assumed this (like women often do, they like to fill in the blanks like this) even though he's probably visiting his mother on Friday night instead.

Obviously this has increased her interest in him. Obviously his value is higher to her now since he is able to entertain other women on the week-end. She's 27 and talking about him like he is a long-term prospect already in that "she doesn't want to waste her time."

No he is not "in" yet. But he's off to a good start and he hasn't even started yet.

If he would have accepted the Friday night counter-offer, she would have likely flaked on him instead since her girlfriends were going out clubbing that night.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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