Short and young looking

[DJinTraining06]

I posted a week or two about this and im even more confused now than before. No matter what i do, how i act, people that i start to get cool with always end up treating me like a kid and act all condescendingly to me like high school nerds get talked to by the cool kids. Im short - 5'6'', i look like im 18, im turning 26 in a month. I feel like people never give me a chance cuz of how i look. Im never one of the guys. These taller older looking guys my age fit in without even saying as word. Some of them are shy as anything and have no social skills and they r just one of the guys. Its like i have to fit the mold of little kid borther that people visualize when they see me. Any other short guys have this problem? If i act like myself, people think im posing as somebody im not. Meanwhile i have the same interest and thught processes as most guys I know. I notice this with other types of people too.

For example this guy at my job has a bit of a speech impediment. Whenever he talks about a hot girl walkin by, people dont seem to wanna listen to him or agree. When the other guys do, everyone agrees and is all into it.

Its like people have their steryotypes in their mind and theres really nothing u can do about it.

Is there anyway for a short guy like me who looks like a little runt 18 yr old kid, can earn peoples respect? Im just fed up. Im tired of analzying my behavior, i should have to, nobody else does. The amazing thing is my girlfriend is very good looking and she thinks im the greatest thing since sliced bread. Why cant I earn anybody elses respect anymore?

 

[lookyoung]

Live with what you cannot change. 5"6 is not that short. Concentrate on your postives. Make a list and write down the things you love about yourself.

Remember the world sees you the way you see yourself. Confidence has nothing to do with being short. Its about loving yourself.

 

[Rata Blanca]

Hang out with young people/teens ?

 

[Adone]

I have kinda your same issue: I'm 5'9 and with a really young face. The three greatest things I could have done for myself are:

1. Building up. Ok, I still am short and my face is still like a kid's, BUT... When I started, I was 130 lbs, now I'm 160 lbs... I think when I get to 175, people won't perceive me as younger anymore (I know it's all a matter of confidence and blahblahblah, but being larger than other people helps, I tell you guys)

2. Cutting my hair short. I'd had more or less long hair since I was 15 and the fact that it's curly wouldn't help at all, since everyone told me I looked like an angel... a baby angel. My girlfriend wouldn't let me cut my hair short and also girls would always tell me that I was a long-hair guy. Actually a week ago, I cut it short and spiked and now EVERY girl (except for my girlfriend) thinks I look a lot better than before. Also now I look more or less my age too.

3. Don't think about it. I know this is overused advice, but follow it. Just let yourself flow into your life and don't even think about looking younger. Just live your live and accept into it just people who earn your attention.

 

[MacDiddy]

Grow a beard and grow up!!!

 

[L777]

Its probably not as bad as you think you know. A guy at the bar I worl at is exactly the same height as you, looks young (but fairly food looking) and is the same age (I think)....his nickname is 'titch' lol.
He has a really fun personality and is always the centre of attention in group settings, and gets laid quite a lot as far as I'm aware. Girls always call him things like 'cute', 'lovely', 'adorable' etc. Maybe not as flattering as 'hot' and 'sexy' but he still gets laid.

I think you should embrace your appearance, work the cute angle and get laid that way...when you're in your 30s you'll be glad to look younger anyway!!

 

[PigAdlemPimp]

:crackup: :crackup: :crackup: YOU DON'T KNOW JUST HOW LUCKY YOU ARE :crackup: :crackup: :crackup:

 

[DJinTraining06]

Its probably not as bad as you think you know. A guy at the bar I worl at is exactly the same height as you, looks young (but fairly food looking) and is the same age (I think)....his nickname is 'titch' lol.
He has a really fun personality and is always the centre of attention in group settings, and gets laid quite a lot as far as I'm aware. Girls always call him things like 'cute', 'lovely', 'adorable' etc. Maybe not as flattering as 'hot' and 'sexy' but he still gets laid.

I think you should embrace your appearance, work the cute angle and get laid that way...when you're in your 30s you'll be glad to look younger anyway!!

Well i have to be the centre attention or else i get picked on, i guess thats what your trying to tell me? I see all these tall guys or average height guys who have no social skills at all and nobody ever dismisses them like i seem to all the time. Im confused, my mind is running in a million different directions. How the hell am i supposed to act! Being myself does not work. Not caring what others think - does not work ( i still get dismissed and picked on). Im not funny besides to my girfriend, she laughs at all my jokes, and i think most of it is genuine. Yet then theres these people who just totally disregard my personality and just wanna pick on me no matter what. I dont owe them nothing. I shouldnt have to prove myself to anyone besides my superiors at work and god. This whole earn guys respect is ridiculous. Cuz of how i look i can never relax. FOr all u out there who are average or above average height, or at least have a mature face even tho u may be short, be thanful for what u got! trust me. I feel like i have to accept being picked on or else i wont have friends. Anytime i try to defend myself i get picked on more or i end up makign enemies. No matter how cool i try to be about gettin picked on, it still doesnt work. It has the same effect as when i bite back. The only friends i can keep are from college. They are the only people that respect me and stay cool with me. it never works out with anyonje else i meet. Most guys dont bother me and respect me, but theres always the small minority that enjoy f'in with people that target me. Its part of life for everyone i know, but if it happenes everywhere u go its enuff to make a guy go insane. As bad as it sounds i just want to go home and cry sometimes. I dont of course, but i feel like that. Im 26 yrs old this shouldnt be happeneing anymore.

 

[DJinTraining06]

Well today was even worse, this guy at my job whos been crackin on me, all of a sudden was cool again to me. So i was talkin with him all day - baseball, and other crap. Then finally he cracks on me again in front of others, got a snicker or two out of them. So i tried to crack on him in return and it just came across as defensive and i ended up looking bad once again. He goes " im just f'in with u dude, ur cool. If i didnt think u could take it i wouldnt do it"
So i say "yea i couldnt really give a sh*t" and he laughed at that.

So at this pt i was actually feelin pretty good, i seemed ot have earned his respect. Why i have to earn his respect in the first place pisses me off cuz who the hell is he? He's my age and at the same job level. But anyway, just as i think im cool with him, were sitting at lunch with some other coworkers and he shhhs's me, with his mouth to his lip from a distance. It got several snickers. Meanwhile everybody else at the table was cool wit me the whole time until then. But when he did that they all snickered. He was far away so it wasnt even in response to anything i said cuz he couldnt hear me. So obviuously he was just tryin to embarass me again. I gave him a look of confusement and said "what?" and he did it again. he ended up doin it for a few secs and it got some more snickers. I was humiliated, it was like i was some high school nerd. I confront him after and said i wanted to talk in private. I told him to cut that sh*t out. I said i can take a joke but this is just disrespectful, and i dont put up with that stuff. He of course does not man up to the fact that he was tryin to make an a$$ out of me and says "oh i was just jokin around cuz u seemed quiet"

Which is total bs, cuz i was in the middle of talkin to the woman next to me! I call him out on that and say "dude at least own up to it, im not an idiot, dont bullsh*t me" and he goes "fine ill never talk to u again". So i say " oh so thats your answer, ur an idiot. I like to joke around, u know me, but theres a fine line between f'in around and being made an ass of" He goes "fine I apologize then" he said it so insincerely but i figured hes not worth my time so i said fine and accdepted it, even tho i didnt want to.


How do u think i handled this situation? I think i controlled myself very well. Nothin i do seems to ever work with regards to gettin respect but i really dont see what else i could have done in this situation.

 

[DJinTraining06]

:crackup: :crackup: :crackup: YOU DON'T KNOW JUST HOW LUCKY YOU ARE :crackup: :crackup: :crackup:

are u serious? how so

 

[L777]

I have another anecdote to make you feel better...cos I'm nice like that. At the gym today I saw this guy who I've seen there a few times. He's probably 5'7, 180, and low bodyfat....really good body, and he looks almost exactly like Andriy Shevchenko (babyfaced).

Well, its obviously hard for a bloke to judge another bloke's attractivess, but this guy's bird came in to the gym today....omg...she was UNREAL, I'm talking, one of the fittest girls I've ever seen in the flesh, ever. An arse to DIE for, 9.5 at least.

So the moral: Get buff you'll be attractive no matter what you're height/looks. This guy also acts pretty alpha as well, always banging weights around and shouting about his political views etc.

At one time I looked at his bird, she was looking me dead in the eyes...man if only she was single......GOD she was hot.....damn

PS: I just read that you got picked on? At 26 that sh.it shouldn't happen. Just hang out with other ppl, or if its at your workplace, just be higher energy and more sociable than them...I know its hard man I've been there (used to be really shy and quiet), but it can be done. If you give a specifif example or a general idea of what these guys do/say, I can give you some advice on how to handle it, no worries. Remember, every bully is crying inside...thats true now matter how happy they look or act, trust me.

But like I said, the short(ish) guy I know is nicknamed 'titch', meaning he obviously has no problem getting cracked on and he never gets pissed off or defensive. Seriously man just laugh it off, but bust em back with good humour, not like seriously insulting them....everyone has something about them they don't like.....just dish it out a bit but keep cool and humourous. The trick is never to be serious, he shushes you, you shout out to the people next to him, "ey shut up, (the guy's name) has something to say" then look at him, at which point he looks an idiot.....just s.hit like that, give as good as you get man.

 

[DJinTraining06]

I have another anecdote to make you feel better...cos I'm nice like that. At the gym today I saw this guy who I've seen there a few times. He's probably 5'7, 180, and low bodyfat....really good body, and he looks almost exactly like Andriy Shevchenko (babyfaced).

Well, its obviously hard for a bloke to judge another bloke's attractivess, but this guy's bird came in to the gym today....omg...she was UNREAL, I'm talking, one of the fittest girls I've ever seen in the flesh, ever. An arse to DIE for, 9.5 at least.

So the moral: Get buff you'll be attractive no matter what you're height/looks. This guy also acts pretty alpha as well, always banging weights around and shouting about his political views etc.

At one time I looked at his bird, she was looking me dead in the eyes...man if only she was single......GOD she was hot.....damn

PS: I just read that you got picked on? At 26 that sh.it shouldn't happen. Just hang out with other ppl, or if its at your workplace, just be higher energy and more sociable than them...I know its hard man I've been there (used to be really shy and quiet), but it can be done. If you give a specifif example or a general idea of what these guys do/say, I can give you some advice on how to handle it, no worries. Remember, every bully is crying inside...thats true now matter how happy they look or act, trust me.

But like I said, the short(ish) guy I know is nicknamed 'titch', meaning he obviously has no problem getting cracked on and he never gets pissed off or defensive. Seriously man just laugh it off, but bust em back with good humour, not like seriously insulting them....everything has something about them they don't like.....just dish it out a bit but keep cool and humourous.

Yea exactly like u said, i shouldnt be picked on at 26. This is insane. The strange thing is my girlfriend is hot, she has a huge rack, blonde, blue eyes. I mean shes not a 10 or even a 9, but def a quality 7. Guys always give her looks when were out. There are cetrain other people i meet that think im just fine. But i notice that theres always 1 or 2 in a bunch that seem to seek me out and embarass me for watever reason. I dunno wat it is. I have never been a bully so i dont understadn the mindset. Sometimes i feel like they feel they have to do this to teach the nerdy ones how to act. Other times i think they are bored and it sentertainment for them. Other times its seems they are just insecure and crying inside like u said, but i dont see that with this guy at all. I am perpelexed as to wat set him off. Cuz im dead serious we were cool for abotu 4 months. He never said anything remotely disrespectful to me. I think i act differenty;ly at work then i do in social situations and maybe thats why people like my gf and college friends respect me and guys like him do not. Im a pretty nervous person and i want to do my job well so im totally diff at work than i am after work. im so much mor elaid back outside of work, could that be it?

Anyway thanks for replying. I could use your advice on how to handle these situations.

How would u have replied to the shsh'ing thing?

How do u handle a guy who denies it every time u call him out for f'in with u?

 

[sparky0000]

5'6" is short. Whatever you do don't travel to places like Lithuania or Serbia. You will be shorter than the average 16 year old girl. No joke. The girls are on average between 5'7" and 5'8" according to most of the research I have read.

In saying this, everybody is f**** in some strange way or another. I am getting annoyed at all of the fools who think they are the ONLY person who has issues. I have news for all of you. EVERY semi-intelligent person on this planet is battling some sort of demon. It is their weakest point. If you hit them at that spot they will crumble. That is why you should never put anyone on a pedestal. So, you are a shrimp. Another guy thinks he is too skinny, another that he is too fat, another that he is too tall, another that he is too light, another that he is too dark, another that he lacks hair, another that he has bad hair...need I go on?

Here is a thought. You could get in your car tomorrow and never get out. Or else you could get out but be stuck in a wheelchair for the rest of your life. You might be a shrimp, but at least you can take a s*** without assistance.

One more thing. The more people brag, the more demons they are probably fighting. Trust me on that one.

The easiest way to gain confidence. Simple. Dump all of your old friends and start a new fresh life. Move. Change jobs. Change schools. Change everything. NEVER go back to that life. NEVER contact anyone from that life. NEVER revisit those days in your mind. If it worked for me I am sure it would work for most of you.

 

[DJinTraining06]

5'6" is short. Whatever you do don't travel to places like Lithuania or Serbia. You will be shorter than the average 16 year old girl. No joke. The girls are on average between 5'7" and 5'8" according to most of the research I have read.

In saying this, everybody is f**** in some strange way or another. I am getting annoyed at all of the fools who think they are the ONLY person who has issues. I have news for all of you. EVERY semi-intelligent person on this planet is battling some sort of demon. It is their weakest point. If you hit them at that spot they will crumble. That is why you should never put anyone on a pedestal. So, you are a shrimp. Another guy thinks he is too skinny, another that he is too fat, another that he is too tall, another that he is too light, another that he is too dark, another that he lacks hair, another that he has bad hair...need I go on?

Here is a thought. You could get in your car tomorrow and never get out. Or else you could get out but be stuck in a wheelchair for the rest of your life. You might be a shrimp, but at least you can take a s*** without assistance.

One more thing. The more people brag, the more demons they are probably fighting. Trust me on that one.

The easiest way to gain confidence. Simple. Dump all of your old friends and start a new fresh life. Move. Change jobs. Change schools. Change everything. NEVER go back to that life. NEVER contact anyone from that life. NEVER revisit those days in your mind. If it worked for me I am sure it would work for most of you.

I hear wat ur saying dude, but being short isnt my demon. Gettin no respect is. And i tried to avoid blamin it on that for so long cuz i felt its a copout. But i cant think of anything else. I pay attention closely and i act no diff than other guys that dont get cracked on and who get more respect. And all i can come up with is that their all taller or look older at least.

 

[L777]

How would u have replied to the shsh'ing thing?

How do u handle a guy who denies it every time u call him out for f'in with u?

Tbh with you, if someone I didn't know shushed me and was obviously being disrespectful and not playful, I'd probs just shout back..."you shush, d.ickhead" or something similar. If hes clearly messing about, I'd just be like, "Oh, you finally got something remotely interesting to say?" Then a second later go, "thought not" and carry on your convo.

on the spur of the moment I might say something completely different idk. But as far as getting embarassed/humiliated whatever, that can only happen if you let it. If you let nothing embarass you, you'll never get embarassed. Fart in public, laugh it off. Guy shushes you, laugh him off....its all in the mindest dude....I think I found myself quite early in life, and I won't let anyone get the better of me or AMOG me, anyone can be like this, you just have to have that rock solid confidence and self assuredness (is that a word?)

Its also useful when sarging, cos you never get blown out completely, which is cool.

 

[L777]

5'6" is short. Whatever you do don't travel to places like Lithuania or Serbia. You will be shorter than the average 16 year old girl. No joke. The girls are on average between 5'7" and 5'8" according to most of the research I have read.

In saying this, everybody is f**** in some strange way or another. I am getting annoyed at all of the fools who think they are the ONLY person who has issues. I have news for all of you. EVERY semi-intelligent person on this planet is battling some sort of demon. It is their weakest point. If you hit them at that spot they will crumble. That is why you should never put anyone on a pedestal. So, you are a shrimp. Another guy thinks he is too skinny, another that he is too fat, another that he is too tall, another that he is too light, another that he is too dark, another that he lacks hair, another that he has bad hair...need I go on?

Here is a thought. You could get in your car tomorrow and never get out. Or else you could get out but be stuck in a wheelchair for the rest of your life. You might be a shrimp, but at least you can take a s*** without assistance.

One more thing. The more people brag, the more demons they are probably fighting. Trust me on that one.

The easiest way to gain confidence. Simple. Dump all of your old friends and start a new fresh life. Move. Change jobs. Change schools. Change everything. NEVER go back to that life. NEVER contact anyone from that life. NEVER revisit those days in your mind. If it worked for me I am sure it would work for most of you.

I'm sorry but I think the bit about moving and starting again is horrible advice, and probably impossible, although I do agree everyone has demons. The trick is learning to get rid of them, THEN the confidence comes.

 

[DJinTraining06]

Tbh with you, if someone I didn't know shushed me and was obviously being disrespectful and not playful, I'd probs just shout back..."you shush, d.ickhead" or something similar. If hes clearly messing about, I'd just be like, "Oh, you finally got something remotely interesting to say?" Then a second later go, "thought not" and carry on your convo.

on the spur of the moment I might say something completely different idk. But as far as getting embarassed/humiliated whatever, that can only happen if you let it. If you let nothing embarass you, you'll never get embarassed. Fart in public, laugh it off. Guy shushes you, laugh him off....its all in the mindest dude....I think I found myself quite early in life, and I won't let anyone get the better of me or AMOG me, anyone can be like this, you just have to have that rock solid confidence and self assuredness (is that a word?)

Its also useful when sarging, cos you never get blown out completely, which is cool.

yea but wat i notice is they all snicker and guys like him always end up contaminiting the rest, even if they were all cool with me to begin with. So if i do wat u say, and not let anybody get to me or anythign embarass me, what good is it, if i have no supporters. if i cant make new friends. if i have to prove myself every time. Will the rest sense my confidence and then end up respecting me? Ill try this but i wont believe it till i see it, cuz this has been goin on my whole life. Im the kid of person that wants to know the root cause of everything. I mean every peiceof advice u just gave me makes tons of sense, but it still doesnt answer the question - why is it happening in the first place? and so often. forget often, i should say always. I feel like even if earn respect with a new group of people, ill have to re-earn with the next group i meet. its a never ending cycle sint it?

 

[sparky0000]

I'm sorry but I think the bit about moving and starting again is horrible advice, and probably impossible, although I do agree everyone has demons. The trick is learning to get rid of them, THEN the confidence comes.

What about those that try and try and try again? I was in that camp for a long time. At some point you realize that those around you are poison. They are the ones who make you wish that you were invisible. People are lazy. Once they decide that you fit a certain pattern they will almost never change their perception of you. In other words, YOU ARE SCREWED.

Once you make the choice to start your life over you feel as if you can accomplish just about anything. All of the baggage and bad memories become unimportant. Just trying to survive and get off the ground with your new life takes up all of your energy.

What I am trying to say is that staying in place is just too easy. You have way too much time to worry about silly stuff that most of us find laughable when it doesn't involve us. When you start TOTALLY new you are so focused on making things work that all those little thoughts get overshadowed by just trying to survive. That is one reason why I encourage guys to move to a foreign land all by themselves. Things become so intense that the old crap that consumed your life becomes laughable. People also tend to overlook any quirk that you might have if you are not from their land. This is especially true if they come from a poorer region and you come from a country they would love to live in. I have found this to be VERY TRUE in much of the former Soviet Union. My quirks are perceived as exotic and even sexy. Back in the old days they were the things that I thought were holding me back. I also learned that even the most beautiful girl is filled with doubt. Some with even more doubt than I once had. This is one reason why I am so opposed to American feminism. It tells girls that confidence is sexy when, in fact, confidence only creates fake girls that are arrogant pricks on the outside but crying on the inside. That type of girl is the pits.

Of course, such drastic measures are not for everyone. However, if things get really bad it sure beats crying yourself to bed at night. I am certain that more than a few of you know what I am talking about.

Moving impossible? You are from the UK. That is the land of cheap flights to some amazing destinations. It would take a lot less planning and effort for you to do it than it did for me. Yeah, people will laugh at you...BUT...that should tell you something. If they really gave a damn about you they would try to learn why you would leave and start over. Nobody probably will because they really don't give a damn about you as a person. Sad, but true. I found that out myself.

 

[DJinTraining06]

Live with what you cannot change. 5"6 is not that short. Concentrate on your postives. Make a list and write down the things you love about yourself.

Remember the world sees you the way you see yourself. Confidence has nothing to do with being short. Its about loving yourself.

that's a generalization, its much more complicated issue.

I do love myself, u prob find that hard to believe but i do. I think im just fine. I have my flaws and demons like everyon else, but i never think about my height until i get it thrown back at me with disrespect. People pre-judge me before i even meet them. A guy at work, (i work for a very large organization that i wont mention) met me one day for the first time and told me i looked "green" meaning i looked new. I told him how long i was working there and he was like "really, u look green like ur one of the new guys that started last week". At this point im boiling inside i was ready to punch him in the face. I keep my cool tho and i ask "oh, why is that?" and he had no answer just a big smirk and looked at another older guy who was smirking back at him. Later on in the day he made a crack at my height (of course he was 6'3'' so height is prob very important to his self esteem). He made this crack and 3 other guys snickeed. he walked away as he said it and out a door, before i could say anything else. Now, yes i know i gotta confront him and this and that yadda yadda yadda.

But its ignoring the thign thats bothering me the most. Why is this happening in the first place!!!!!!! It's unavoidable it seems. I just met him. i didnt even have a chance to show any kind of wussy, unconfident behavior. I look like im 16 and im 26 thats the problem. Its a combination of height and extreme baby face. im not feelin sorry for myself, i swear. WHat im here for is answers, solutions, anything. Cuz its depressing. Theres a difference between feeling sorry for yourself and just feeling sad. And when u cant be one of the guys cuz ur appearance, it really sux. other new guys there were introsduced to these older guys and i never noticed any smirking going on.
i'm just fed up, and i withdraw from alot fo social situations these days cuz i just dont need the rejection. I have my gf, and my 3 or 4 goopd friends from college, and i guess thats it for me.

 

[Berlex]

How do you dress? Once I stopped dressing like a college kid and more like an adult people started taking me seriously. I wear ties and slacks to work, people mistaken me for a doctor (I work at a clinic). I'm 23, 5'5'', and Asian so I know what it feels like to be "short and young looking."