Shocked by the transformation

[lifeislearning]

My ex is deliberately trying to f*ck with me, and honestly I'm more disappointed than anything else. We were together for 3 years and for the vast majority things were great, but there were a few issues we were never able to get past, and a few things I wanted but never got from her. When we split it was tough but both could admit something was missing, and she played the "you're the love of my life" card. For a few weeks we were able to be pleasant and hold civil conversations, she even tried repeatedly to fix it as she thought we would get hitched eventually.

As a final send-off I gathered some old pics of us to give to her, and was planning on asking for her pics when I would be visiting near her. She suggested I mail them. Couple days later I get this BS text thanking me for her current happiness all a result of the breakup. Really? Why tell me that if not to try and hurt me with it. This is coming from a woman who I once prized as the sweetest woman I know, and though I've moved on it saddens me to see her so intent to hurt and find a warm body replacement ASAP. I thought she was better than that.

I made an effort to make the break as adult as possible, though she seems to have little interest in that, or even admitting anything happened at all. As much as I want those pictures she's still pretty pissed at losing me/so "happy" with wonder-man, and I'm wondering if I just call them lost and separate myself from this hateful creature.

 

[Albatross953]

Yeah, but how many guys are on this site asking for advice because the girl still loves the ex?

Guess what? You're the ex. Now enjoy her still loving you at this guys expense, and go get on with the rest of your life.

 

[expos]

You need to realize that women like this have the ability to love and hate with equal intensities. You just said it yourself...and called her the "sweetest woman I know". You had to know there was a flipside to all of this.

Woman, those of which are especially emotional and crave drama, will say all sorts of hurtful and disrespectful things to get back at you or seek revenge after a breakup.

You need to realize that all woman are very capable of some pretty diabolical behavior. The trick is not to put them on the pedestal and think that they are saints.

My advice is run the other way from this woman and not look back. Don't even her give a second thought.

 

[49au]

She's just trying to get a response out of you.

The play is to ignore it, or play it off with humor.

Indifference drives them insane.

 

[Colossus]

You need to realize that all women are very capable of some pretty diabolical behavior. The trick is not to put them on the pedestal and think that they are saints.

As painful as it may be, you cant be too shocked when a woman does a complete 180 in about a week after a breakup. Women are only empathetic when their own self interest isn't at risk. My last LTR turned around and banged another dude less than a week after I broke up with her. Another ex before her called me up to ask for advice on "heartbreak" a few months after we split (she branch-swung and got burned). Many, many girls these days have a d!ck in hand before their relationship is officially over.

She is just trying to get to you emotionally since it sounds like you are the one who broke up with her. They are spiteful creatures when spurned.

 

[Lexington]

Once you break up with a girl or a girl breaks up with you, try to move on as quickly as possible. I know that's easier said than done, but relationships end for a reason and there's usually nothing that can be done. It's over and that's probably for the best. Agonizing over the past accomplishes nothing of value.

Don't contact her. If she contacts you, keep the conversation polite and short. Do not give any indication that you are still into her; you should be working to find a new girl or 2 or 3 anyway. Stay busy with work, hobbies, pursuing new plates etc. Hang out more with your guy friends. Focus on living in the present moment any time you find yourself dwelling on the past.

Wondering why she did or didn't do anything is ultimately a pointless exercise; you've made the decision to move on so her feelings/actions are irrelevant at this point.

 

[lifeislearning]

Guess what? You're the ex. Now enjoy her still loving you at this guys expense, and go get on with the rest of your life.

Wondering why she did or didn't do anything is ultimately a pointless exercise; you've made the decision to move on so her feelings/actions are irrelevant at this point.

Thanks for the wisdom gents. I always analyze my situation to learn and better myself for it, but sometimes have a tendency to go over things too much. I did send a reply; kept my cool and thanked her for revealing her true nature. Now I am done.

Aaaand, as of tonight already have another plate spinning. Looks like I'm back

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pAgnJDJN4VA

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Life is Learning,
You broke up and she got on with life...Maybe take a leaf out of her Book!....At the risk of being tiresome,losing a principal love interest is far less painful,and probably won't happen if you spin plates!

 

[Bible_Belt]

She knew the relationship was ending before it did. She's happy because she does not have to deal with that stress any more. That's what she meant by the text. It should be nothing for you to get upset about.

 

[juliedhulem]

But if you liked her so much and as you said she was trying hard to close the gap between both of you, why did you breakup? if you still like her?

 

[sodbuster]

Remember, women break up with you emotionally long before the do it verbally. With a bit of experience, you can tell when... so you can start looking for a replacement before the break is formally announced

 

[Zarky]

Welcome to breakups, OP. Now imagine a divorce where she tries to utterly destroy your life.

 

[lifeislearning]

I broke up with her and it was for good reason. I was looking for more and try as I might I could not overcome that desire nor help her meet those needs. She was hoping for nothing more than a wedding ring. That's why the change is so shocking. To go from idealizing me, to the willingness to sacrifice everything to get me back, to "You're ****."

Honestly I don't want her back: the issues would still be there. Things were good but there were some serious things lacking. I miss the good times sure, but I'm trying to repeat the issues to myself again and again. I know I made the right decision for me, unfortunately I'm having a hell of a time getting a win from life right now, and the sh*tty thoughts keep creeping in

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

Sounds like you dodged a bullet.

There's an old saying that goes something like this: In a breakup a man just wants to get away, a woman just wants to get even.

-Augustus-

 

[speed dawg]

She knew the relationship was ending before it did. She's happy because she does not have to deal with that stress any more. That's what she meant by the text. It should be nothing for you to get upset about.

Wrong.

Geez, son. She wanted to regain power, to save her ego. That's it.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Wrong.
Geez, son. She wanted to regain power, to save her ego. That's it.

This thread is pathetic. "Mature Man" it ain't. The title implies that the woman did some horrible, evil thing. And yet her crime is saying that she's happy? And this proves that women are evil?

There is no good reason to be mad about anyone else being happy. It's insecure, jealous, childish, bruised-ego behavior that just goes to show that the OP is not over this girl. That's the real problem, not some stupid text message.

 

[Zarky]

No you're missing the point. The point is that she rubbed it in his face. No woman in the history of womandom tells you she's "happy" immediately after a breakup just because she thinks it might be nice to share. 99.9% of the time it's to cause hurt in the other person.

 

[expos]

No you're missing the point. The point is that she rubbed it in his face. No woman in the history of womandom tells you she's "happy" immediately after a breakup just because she thinks it might be nice to share. 99.9% of the time it's to cause hurt in the other person.

THIS THIS THIS.

This is why it is best to ignore the chick you just dumped and RUN FOR THE FVCKING HILLS and never see them again. Because every interaction with them will be beyond terrible. You will soon realize how, vengeful, catty and sh!tty that person is AFTER you dump them. That is their true character.

And I will tell you, some of the best girls I dated HAVE NOT been that way post-break up. They are willing to be friendly, and not hold some nasty grudge. Some aren't that way, and the fact that she is being really sh!tty post break up tells me you probably made the right decision.

I understand you are hurt. I've been there too. Just try not to think about her...creep her Facebook page, etc. In fact, Facebook block everyone associated with that girl, even her friends, family. You do not need reminders.

You'll be out of the fog soon and realize that she wasn't all that great.