She's overhwelmed?

[Leporello]

I start going out with her, things are great, we can't keep our hands off eahc other, etc. etc.

Now she tells me that she can't keep it up; that there's just too much happening for her to be in a relationship right at this moment. We just started college, after all.

Naturally suspicious, I wondered if the 'not ready for a relationship' was really the 'not wanting a relationship with you', but she assures me that myself and the relationship are totally seperate. hopefully, she's telling the truth.

Just three days ago she wrote me a card telling me I was 'beyond amazing', and a host of other things. And she says she's still attracted to me, and is basically going to wait around until she's ready, but I don't know how long that will be.
It could be a year, it could be a week.

All her girl friends tell me to be her friend for a little while, and that she'll come around.

Advice?

 

[Frank Zappa]

Don't be deceived by her words... Her actions are the only things that you should read. And right now, it's a waning interest level. Girls always like to let you down lightly... I'd go for the ignore her routine and bait her until she comes along and start lining up some other options.

Don't ever listen to what a girl tells you, they don't know what they want or mean to say half the time anyway.


Don't be mean to her and don't be her friend... You have enough friend already.
Plus she wants your friendship, so by ignoring her and not giving her what she wants, it'll make her wonder and try harder to get you or your friendship. Don't do the old pouty ignore either, just ignore her like you're too busy....

And also I can't stress again, start lining up some other options.

~Zappa

 

[squirrels]

Something is missing for her.

Maybe you're not good enough in bed (or are afraid to be in bed). Maybe there are fundamental differences of opinion you two have that she can't get over. Maybe she's been "hurt" before and you haven't led her properly into the relationship and established that level of comfort with her. Maybe there's someone else.

Or maybe she's just a dumbass who isn't comfortable with HERSELF.

The thing is you may never know, if you don't already. Because a a lot of girls aren't just AFRAID to tell you what's wrong with you, they honestly DON'T KNOW what they want, as Zappa said.

I'd just disappear for a while. See if she contacts you.

 

[bud1971]

A good friend of mine once told me "People have exactly enough time and exactly enough money, to do exactly what they want to do."

Applies to a lot of situations, but she would find the time if it was important.

 

[MindOverMatter]

And she says she's still attracted to me, and is basically going to wait around until she's ready, but I don't know how long that will be.
It could be a year, it could be a week.

I'll tell you this much, if you tell this girl that you will wait for her, you will never hook up with her. Right now, she's testing your interest. If you let her know that you are willing to wait for her, she knows that you want her, and then holds all the power in the relationship. Most girls feed their ego off this, and move on leaving the guy wondering wtf happened. So no matter what you do, do not under any circumstances let her know that you will wait for her. Only chumps wait.

Basically let her know that if she is interested in you, you two can have some fun, if she's not, then you'll find someone who is. But you're not gonna be some sucker and wait around for her for a year. You got a life to live, and if she doesn't wanna be in it, that's her problem not yours.

 

[moonman53376]

DO NOT be her friend. A balance is needed that takes skill and probably time to learn. Do not be a **** and ignore her totally but always make it look like you're getting on fine without her.

As tough as it might be to leave her side, If you start hanging out with friends she will not realise what she is missing. She will see all your cards and there will be no mystery for her.

The only way the 'friends thing' will work to something more is if you have no interest in her and then you have the epiphany.

Be polite and always be pleased to see her but never give her more than two seconds. Remember you are having a great time without her and always look to play the jealous card when she's around. It'll drive her nuts.

You will be wasting time if you hold out for this girl and ignore any other opportunities that come your way.

Do not spend time with her as friends. she will not come round. Shower her with neglect.

 

[JJMcLure]

She just started college. There are guys everywhere. She wants to play the field or at least be open to approaches, so doesn't want to be in a relationship.

Don't hang around her like a lap dog waiting for her.

Keep her as a fvck buddy and do other girls too or if she won't go with that forget her (don't be mean or rude though) and find yourself another girl.

 

[DJ_Dork]

Wow, I can smell the bullcrap from her a mile away...She's mindphucking you buddy. THIS IS HER WAY of saying "She wants to possibly date other guys" while keeping you in the back burner if nothing happens for her.

For example was dating this one girl:

She said that we should be friends because I was being a meanie. I just went "Sure." and I never contacted her at all at all. She got pissed off that I wasn't calling her (like I used to) once a week. I didn't say anything and told her I was too busy. Did we get back together? Nope - my requirement for the dumper is for them to crawl back and offer an incentive for being in a relationship, nothing was offered except for threats of her not contacting me.

Now you want my advice... How do you feel about being sloppy seconds or the backup guy? Kinda sucky right... You want to be the front man. Obviously this girl doesn't have that much interest in you. Do what I do, completely ignore the girl and look for others.

 

[Leporello]

Oh, you guys are asses.

I'm taking the advice of real girls over stupid boys from the internet.

 

[Bunk 040]

Originally posted by Leporello
Oh, you guys are asses.

I'm taking the advice of real girls over stupid boys from the internet.

Dumb ass!

 

[gmonster2]

A girl told me she wasn't ready for a relationship right now but if she were ready it would be with me! So i hung around AFC style

3 months later she had some other guy in her bed!

We had known each other for 2 yrs and she just met the other guy.

Listen to these guys its true. Time to pull back a bit. You don't want to because you're to hung up on her....