She's over sensitive, wants "space". HELP!!

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Jay Felder - I agree with you but why would she make such a big move (figuratively and literally) and then move out in a few weeks?

Unless of course she has regrets and decided from her three week stay that Jet wasn't worth it! Or she is damaged goods who has been abused and is now paranoid with fear every time Jet raises his hand to scratch his head! Nowadays women are damaged at the age of 23 let alone 42!!

Jet Jockey - I'll assume that the situation is the way you describe it and that she is not seeing or wants to be with someone else. Whatever you do - do not send her flowers or a note!! Why? You ask. Because you did nothing wrong!!!

Quit acting and thinking as if you are the one in error - she is in the wrong for her sudden departure without a reason or a cause!!!

You already told her that you loved her and she shunned you - do not say this again!

Absolute silence and no contact is the best policy in this situation -do not tell her "I'll be here for you waiting forever until you make a decision". In fact, you should have stated "I'll give 3 weeks to ponder and after that I'll assume you are dating others and I will do the same!

Put the onus on her to prove to you that she is worthy of your company - if she calls and is still unsure of getting back with you tell her that you are unsure if you want to be with someone who is so gullible and is so easily influenced by the lies of others and one who does not wish to communicate and resolve her problems in a mature manner!

Tell her that she has damaged your trust in her and her loyalty to you is non-existent – you don’t know if it can be repaired! Tell her you are considering other women because of this erratic and dramatic behavior - if she loves you she’ll panic with the thought that you may find another to replace her and she will be eager to repair the damage!

If she still stays non-committal then the hell with her and start dating other women to show her that you are moving on – dating others will actually help your cause because she knows that time is of the essence! If she loves you she’ll be eager to make reparations!!

She is acting like you owe her something and you are acting like you are in debt to her! Quit talking and acting as if you did something wrong!!! What crime against her have you committed???? Do not say “Sorry” or beg her for forgiveness or buy her shyt!!

She knows that she has the power over you because you are not asserting yourself as a man – you are supplicating and being overly submissive because you don’t want her to see you in angry or in a ‘bad’ light!

Be a man and quit being so fatalistic as if she is a pot of gold that you are losing – do you really really really want to be with a woman like this that panics and flees without communication for nothingness except her own fabricated fears? What is she going to do when you really do get angry or do something that is not to her liking? She will probably call the police on you!!

This is not a good woman mentally/psychologically speaking and she has issues that may not be repaired at the age of 42! This chick will never be loyal to you – why guys want a woman like this I will never know!

From hereon do nothing – initiate no contact!

Next time a girl says “I need space” tell her that she should become an astronaut!!!!!!

Most girls that say “I need space” are seeing someone else for the past few weeks/months from the time that they told you! I’ll assume that this is not the case.

Leave your ex-buddy alone and don’t talk to him again!! Liars and instigators and those of his caliber do not of all sudden admit their guilt unless there is some form of selfish reasoning behind it. Do this on your own terms because you are in the right!!!

Lastly, quit making excuses for her about why she is behaving this way and assuming it is her past abuse. Assume nothing! Your actions didn’t give her any reasons for alarm and for her to reflect on her past ‘supposed’ abuse.

A 42 year old woman should be more concerned with her future and with living her life without a mate in her declining years – now that is the most worrisome thing for younger and older women.

 

[Jet Jockey]

Well put Puerto-Rican lover!!!

I must admit you made me stop and think. You pretty much nailed it.

Yes, why am I apologizeing for something I didn't even do? To hell with that. I will admit myself... I made a few mistakes such as leaving her with no keys one night, but she makes little things like that a big bloody deal. Besides I already told her i was sorry for that one..I don't believe she should hang onto it, thats called holding a grudge. Grudgers make poor partners in a relationship.

Yes, she is damaged goods I'm afraid, with a little spoiled biotch added in. I have told her before, that I don't think it is fair to make me pay for what some other jerk has done. I didn't do it to her. If she has a axe to grind, go grind it with the guilty party.

The no contact thing is hard. I know its the right thing to do tho. I think the AFC in me ( theres plenty of that LOL) wants to "remind" her that I am still in love with her, and It would be so cool if this could all work out. The realist in me, says, if it does somehow work out, that right now, and right here, I will be setting the tone..so don't supplicate to her unless I want to do that for years to come. So the saying I'm sorry stuff is over with especially since I did very little to be sorry about.

I was in close proximity to her work and a flower shop yesterday. I knew she was at work. I started to want to send her some flowers, but I made myself stop and get gas in my truck first. As i was pumping the gas i was thinking of what I wanted to put on the card. Then guess what? I got in my truck and drove away. I didn't do it. Thank God!!!!

I don't like the idea that alot of this was caused by a ex-buddy. Thats a traitor in my book. You are right tho, she is in the wrong. She has no self control. She loses her mind her eyes must roll up in her head and she lets fear take her over. I'd love to have been a fly on the wall while they were having there "bashing" sessions. Would be good to know exactly the whole scenario. He tried to suck up to me..came over and mowed my yard yesterday while i was gone. I still won't talk to the fvcker, he is clearly a piece of shyt.

The whole "I need space issue" with her has me a bit confused. Ok I could see her needing 2 to 3 weeks to think about things and calm her @ss down, if she got worked up enough to move out and not talk. Some people internalize things, and have to just be alone to come to terms with stuff. But my eyes are wide open now. I am not going to put it past her that there could be another guy, no matter how much she claimed to "love me". Here is my thought.

Lets suppose for a minute she is nothing more than a good actress and a user. Ok, now lets suppose that she wanted to come to this area. (there is nothing where she lived) so she does the whole honey I love ya so much thing for awhile. Once she knows she is coming this way to be with me, lets suppose she got ahold of this guy she told me about. She talked about a "friend" out here that years ago wanted to buy her a harley. His name was Jim. I thought nothing of it, being it was years ago, and she was with me now. Now, she was pretty broke...you guys get it? I could have been just "used" to move her shyt here, and then she met up with Jim and it was a green light! So like most women she needed to make me the bad guy to alieve her conscience. other coincindences:
She moved after getting her first paycheck living here.
She never completely unpacked, even after 3 weeks. I thought it was because of so many "duplicate" items we both had.
She got SO UPSET the night I left her no transportation.
She was always tired and slept alot more than i have ever seen her do.

I can't prove it and maybe i am all wrong. Maybe She's seeing someone, and maybe she just needs to have time to her self and do the miss independent thing. I may never know for sure.

The only thing I can do is start dating and don't wait on her. If she really isn't seeing someone else, and she really wants to be together, she knows the number here. If she finds out I am dating and trys to use it against me somehow, I won't let her. I'll just remind her that I wanted to talk, which she refused to do.

Thanks guys!!!!