She's not over her ex...

[yayo]

Hey guys, new to this site. I'd appreciate it if you help me out with this situation I'm in.. thanks. So, I met this girl 3 months ago, everything was going great the first month. We hung out all the time.. kissing, having sex, sleeping over, basically acting like bf/gf. She told me she didn't want to be in a relationship right now because she wasn't over her ex and was just confused. I stupidly thought that if I stick around she would develop feelings for me and would want to be my girlfriend. So we kept hanging out and I tried my best in treating her well.. I'd drive to work at 3am just to spend the night with her, I spent so much money on her buying her food/clothes/gifts for the holidays and her birthday, I gave her backrubs all the time and rubbed her head till she fell asleep.. She on the other hand would constantly try to keep me at a distance. She'd get mad at me for the littlest things and basically wouldn't try very hard in our "relationship" (I say that in quotes because we never actually dated officially). No matter how hard I tried with her I could not get her to lower her guard. She's told me how great of a guy I am and that she'll probably never find anyone better, and that she knows she will regret pushing me away but that she just can't get over her ex no matter what she does.. She straight up told me that she was just trying to make me like her less. But it feels like she never even gave us a real chance and I want a REAL chance with her!! We started hanging out less and less because she just felt bad about continuing to hang out with me, saying that its not fair to me and to her ex and to herself because its just causing more confusion in her and its not solving anything. I told her I loved her, and she knows I do, because in her words "she knows I wouldn't still be here if I didn't." I want to be with her so bad because I see how big of a heart she has and it would be amazing if she'd just give me access to it but I'm sick of trying and getting no where. We slowly stopped hanging out more and more (by her choice) until we stopped seeing eachother completely. She said she just needs time alone to figure things out which is completely understandable, but we kept texting. After a month of that I asked if I could see her again and she just kept changing the subject.. So I got pissed, because I felt like I was just on the sidelines waiting for any bits of hope she thre my way, and so I said "cool, thanks for answering my question" and she just replied by saying "your a jerk.. no we can't hang out then." so I'm just sitting here confused about what I did wrong because in my head I tried so damn hard with her, and I respond with "how am I being a jerk? I asked you a question like 3 times and you didn't even answer it. I've tried so hard with you, and put up with a lot to try to make this work but its never going to work if you don't want to try back." and she just goes "just leave me alone." WTF???????????? After everything she just wants it to end? What did I do wrong? Why is she still hung up on an ex that I know treated her like sh*t? And the real quetion I'm getting to is what do I do about this whole situation? She's an amazing girl but has a lot of drama in her life right now and things obviously need to change in order for anything to happen between us. Should I just move on and hope she figures her sh*t out or what? I still want her back but maybe her being alone is for the best. I just can't help but feel alone and forgotten without any sort of contact with her. Its depressing, and everything reminds me of her. I'm sorry about the length and I appreciate your input. I just don't have people I can really talk to about this stuff so any advice is really appreciated, thank you

 

[bigneil]

Hey guys, new to this site. I'd appreciate it if you help me out with this situation I'm in.. thanks. So, I met this girl 3 months ago, everything was going great the first month. We hung out all the time.. kissing, having sex, sleeping over, basically acting like bf/gf. She told me she didn't want to be in a relationship right now because she wasn't over her ex and was just confused. I stupidly thought that if I stick around she would develop feelings for me and would want to be my girlfriend. So we kept hanging out and I tried my best in treating her well.. I'd drive to work at 3am just to spend the night with her, I spent so much money on her buying her food/clothes/gifts for the holidays and her birthday, I gave her backrubs all the time and rubbed her head till she fell asleep.. She on the other hand would constantly try to keep me at a distance. She'd get mad at me for the littlest things and basically wouldn't try very hard in our "relationship" (I say that in quotes because we never actually dated officially). No matter how hard I tried with her I could not get her to lower her guard. She's told me how great of a guy I am and that she'll probably never find anyone better, and that she knows she will regret pushing me away but that she just can't get over her ex no matter what she does.. She straight up told me that she was just trying to make me like her less.

I put your mistakes in bold and was going to stop reading it. But thank God I continued to see you be nominated for the all-time AFC doofus award:

But it feels like she never even gave us a real chance and I want a REAL chance with her!! We started hanging out less and less because she just felt bad about continuing to hang out with me, saying that its not fair to me and to her ex and to herself because its just causing more confusion in her and its not solving anything. I told her I loved her, and she knows I do, because in her words "she knows I wouldn't still be here if I didn't." I want to be with her so bad because I see how big of a heart she has and it would be amazing if she'd just give me access to it but I'm sick of trying and getting no where. We slowly stopped hanging out more and more (by her choice) until we stopped seeing eachother completely. She said she just needs time alone to figure things out which is completely understandable, but we kept texting. After a month of that I asked if I could see her again and she just kept changing the subject.. So I got pissed, because I felt like I was just on the sidelines waiting for any bits of hope she thre my way, and so I said "cool, thanks for answering my question" and she just replied by saying "your a jerk.. no we can't hang out then." so I'm just sitting here confused about what I did wrong because in my head I tried so damn hard with her, and I respond with "how am I being a jerk? I asked you a question like 3 times and you didn't even answer it. I've tried so hard with you, and put up with a lot to try to make this work but its never going to work if you don't want to try back." and she just goes "just leave me alone." WTF???????????? After everything she just wants it to end? What did I do wrong? Why is she still hung up on an ex that I know treated her like sh*t? And the real quetion I'm getting to is what do I do about this whole situation? She's an amazing girl but has a lot of drama in her life right now and things obviously need to change in order for anything to happen between us. Should I just move on and hope she figures her sh*t out or what? I still want her back but maybe her being alone is for the best. I just can't help but feel alone and forgotten without any sort of contact with her. Its depressing, and everything reminds me of her. I'm sorry about the length and I appreciate your input. I just don't have people I can really talk to about this stuff so any advice is really appreciated, thank you

Students, this is AFC 101. However, the good news is, yayo can't get any worse on the next girl. He's come to the right place but must experience the pain of growing.

 

[Love's Orphan]

At the bottom left corner of this page, theres a link "The DJ Bible", read it several times. Also, in there, theres another link "Book of Pook", read it too. You will see all the answers.

 

[Johnnyventana]

Also, look into something called Paragraphs.

 

[Jariel]

Take note of Bigneil's highlights.

Everything you know about seducing and attracting women is wrong. The good news is that many of us started out that way, having learned about women through Hollywood fiction, parents and people who want us to grow up to be sweet and caring.

You don't get why she's pining over someone who doesn't give a fvck about her. Well that's the key. Whoever cares least holds all the power.

Like Orphan said, check the DJ Bible, take time to read some threads and the replies on this forum and some of the top rated tips in the tips forum and it might start to make sense.

Also check my tip on being dumped or rejected in my signature. This is perfect for your situation.