She's not my type

[thirdtimescharm]

She's not worth pursuing, so I'm glad I found out quickly.

 

[thirdtimescharm]

A small surprise just arrived in the form of a text:

"I wanted to apologize if I hurt your feelings. I really try hard to go through life being considerate and not hurting people."

In the interest of minimizing any more wasted effort, I just replied "Apology appreciated. Thanks." Under no circumstances will I continue to play out this scenario via text messages.

And since someone might point out she said, "if I hurt your feelings," as if she isn't really apologizing, I'm aware. The problem with text is the lack of clarity nuance, and it isn't the forum for substantive conversation to begin with.

 

[dude99]

A small surprise just arrived in the form of a text:

"I wanted to apologize if I hurt your feelings. I really try hard to go through life being considerate and not hurting people."

In the interest of minimizing any more wasted effort, I just replied "Apology appreciated. Thanks." Under no circumstances will I continue to play out this scenario via text messages.

And since someone might point out she said, "if I hurt your feelings," as if she isn't really apologizing, I'm aware. The problem with text is the lack of clarity nuance, and it isn't the forum for substantive conversation to begin with.

You handled that well. I would have done the same. "Thanks. Take care." Brief and not losing frame. Not trying to be beta and begging her for another date like a love sick puppy with no options.

 

[thirdtimescharm]

You handled that well. I would have done the same. "Thanks. Take care." Brief and not losing frame. Not trying to be beta and begging her for another date like a love sick puppy with no options.

Thanks.

Guess who came back like a lovesick puppy? She did, with another message telling me that she's been sick all week and would like to talk face to face because she really liked me and thought I felt the same way.

 

[ubercat]

Yeah and then she ll rag on u again once she has her validation again. Invite her to your place if she actually turns up escalate the hell out of it pump and dump. You can't wife up a ho.

 

[dude99]

Thanks.

Guess who came back like a lovesick puppy? She did, with another message telling me that she's been sick all week and would like to talk face to face because she really liked me and thought I felt the same way.

She is now seeing your value and seeing you as a guy with options. Being a challenge gets their hampster wheel spining.

 

[dude99]

Yeah and then she ll rag on u again once she has her validation again. Invite her to your place if she actually turns up escalate the hell out of it pump and dump. You can't wife up a ho.

Agreed. The best thing he can do is be completly indifferent towards her. Never let her know you liked her and do not acknowledge her "i thought you felt the same way." Let her wheel spin.. pump then spin plates.

 

[PantyWhisperer]

Keep us posted. I love tales of snooty women being, not put in their place, but being moved from their place. It's a long hard fall from a pedestal when it is she who placed herself on it. Nice!

 

[thirdtimescharm]

Agreed. The best thing he can do is be completly indifferent towards her. Never let her know you liked her and do not acknowledge her "i thought you felt the same way." Let her wheel spin.. pump then spin plates.

I'm down with this. I replied very short. Sure, fine. You, me. Where, when? And she sent me back 3 possible times. I've got another plate to spin tomorrow afternoon, and busy throughout the weekend with my real friends so she's on the back burner.

 

[dude99]

I'm down with this. I replied very short. Sure, fine. You, me. Where, when? And she sent me back 3 possible times. I've got another plate to spin tomorrow afternoon, and busy throughout the weekend with my real friends so she's on the back burner.

Backburnner is perfect. She needs to know she is not a priority.

 

[BeExcellent]

I'd do for her what she did for you. Be direct.

As in "Listen, I was offended that you referred to me as cheap. I'm looking for a woman who appreciates my talent with money. What you said really bugs me. I will see you around & wish you well but I'm out."

Something like this. You air your complaint in a non-negotiable way and move on.

There is no excuse for her air of expectation.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Question is, should I even be giving her another chance?

That's up to you. If it were me, I'd automatically disqualify her, not even mentioning to her why. Anybody that complains I'm not spending enough is automatically OUT.

Once I'd been working on this Japanese girl, while I lived in the states. She was cold, but super gorgeous and I seemed to be making slow progress. (In hindsight I should have disqualified much earlier). The final straw was when she called me, invited me to meet her for drinks. I met her, we both ordered had a decent conversation and then when the bill came she made ZERO effort to even acknowledge it.

I quietly paid, thanked her and NEVER called her again.

In my opinion, if a girl complains you didn't spend enough, and she is BLATANT about not wanting "cheap" guys, she doesn't deserve your time, OR an explanation.

Next immediately.

BONUS POINTS

You can use her as a story to covertly "test" the next girl you date BEFORE you spend more than a few bucks.

"I dated this one girl, and even though I'd already spend over a hundred bucks, she complained I wasn't spending enough. Said she didn't like "cheap" dates."

How the next girl responds to THAT story will help you sort out "those types" early and cheaply.

 

[thirdtimescharm]

Sometimes you don't even have to tell a story. I met a new woman for coffee Saturday and I offered to pay. She spontaneously invited me out on Sunday night to have a drink with her and a friend and when that bill came, both these woman had their credit cards out before I had my wallet out. Then as I was driving my new friend home and she asked if I wanted to stop somewhere for some late night eats, as she had a few drinks before I arrived and was hungry. When this bill arrived, she was very clear that this one was on her. Needless to say, she's on the front-burner.

 

[thirdtimescharm]

A comment in text from the place where all this started: "Yes I gravitate towards guys who want to take care of women."

NEXT. Over. Out. Done.

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

She's manipulative and rude and she is turning you into a supplicant. Dont see her again.

 

[thirdtimescharm]

I haven't. Door closed, and I've moved on to greener pastures.